Sickening Scratch

James R. his mother their shoes shiny black lizard his square hers pointed pay attention she wants to ignore pain go for a nice ride speaks of mysterious driver I can drive he wants to take her to the doctor her jaw she looks very well put together I am to help induce her to do what she does not want suddenly Laurel filling out form what we wanted to do and didn't the pretensions marketing but the harpsichords were real awake remember sickening scratch as I slid the instrument out of the hearse open the lid quickly remember birthday party Russian restaurant in Brighton Beach fun good food too loud music gay host who was forgotten intimacies my father kicking nurse enough poetry fest publicity one afternoon I beat myself up never do enough though relatively diligent morning rooted through costumes with Mares heavy bins of frocks fabric hats belts shoes uniforms capes dressing room dispiriting grubby mess I mustn't criticize be grateful where else can I do plays reality trumps attitude first grass mowing too long for Phoebe horses ate down pasture new area fenced out for dinner last night à deux Alfred flies in tomorrow start acting adventure