Too Late

although I do not suffer
I see suffering in others
without clearly knowing
what it is to really suffer

how could I suffer when
my life has been so lucky
no wars here no abusive
parents poverty or illness

I worry about the world
and surely will suffer too
before I'm finally over it
but too late to matter now

Her Baggage

I try to be interested in Diana Trilling and
her fierce intelligence but I never cared
about her opinions and tended to despise her
for giving in to Lionel's great mind act his
repellent condescension part of her baggage
I never understood how they got away with it
the whole lot of them left me cold and still do

Proper Taste

threats disguised as flowers fool
my most refined defenses let me
serve as their ambassador to the
human round of rooms and meals
welcome admire and water their
laughing faces sneeze with delight
at their exuberant indifference to
anything I struggle to understand
purposes persisting regardless of
good intentions and proper taste
in colots forms and dying petals

Making Choices

what kinds of people there are
don't know and don't approve
as if that were anywhere near
the point being my narrowed
vision molded by experience

are we making choices or just
playing out the paradigm we
grew up viewing as the world
whispering privately not even
imagining we have much to say

Pause

this moment between Beethoven and
crossword offers an opening I seize
adeptly dash off the occasional lyric

four movements beautiful in stormy
lulls exquisitely fitted to the purpose
buoy me across an after-dinner pause

"Idiocracy" to follow if appetite lasts
beyond the kiss and cuddle into night
cooling timbers punctuate with creaks

Personal Experience

time/space is wobbling
William says as the
gravitational waves
keep rolling through

I wonder if I can
feel it interested more
in the gravity I'm doomed
to deal with every day

it's a matter of scale
he likes cosmic principles
and the infinitely small
I the personal experience

Aleppo

it might be real
what happened
ah what a relief
it is just a story
this newspaper
a form of fiction
alas not so there
is no good news

Soft Air

notice the balance of warm and cool
sun and shade the beautiful dissolving
clouds the scent of flowers in soft air

short of moving away what can I do
not mow or pull up grass that way lies
ruin of my hands and peace of mind

Tiny Bites

it's not that I can't think
or think of anything I can
it's just the way the days
go on eating time in tiny
bites and random feasts
regular as sunrise weather
fooling with our thoughts
projects calling attention
to whether they get done

In Pain

is that you depressed
and/or in pain forget
what I said before it
went down this way

now is the possible
normal day you like
to remember how it
felt to be yourself

when you are better
you know what to say
as if goodness had
the upper hand again

Back to You

conversation may be arbitrarily interrupted
at any time unless you park yourself in one
of the Adirondack chairs around the fire pit
with your own supply of cannabis which you
generously share the pipe keeps coming back
to you though the people in adjacent chairs
keep changing places everybody pursuing
an individual trajectory determined by sign
and type freely helping to make the party go

New to You

change bullets to ballet
wrong to wring shove to
love change now to how
new to you the Times to
rhymes change bug to hug
pounce to flounce flop to
swap snob to mob or lob
or job change whether to
weather fuck and suck to
luck and pluck language
changes everything to its
brother by another mother
its meanings ever at odds

Someone Cares

forgiven for forgetting
as if someone
cares whether you
remember at all

In the Shade

do I have to tell everybody everything
what I think how I feel about my day
is more significant than anything else

I mean what else matters really do you
know the answer will you reveal it now
or hold out for permission from above

what is above consideration never says
what might be more germane moreover
reception is unreliable here in the shade

Pleasing Life

what is pleasing and even more pleasing in dreams
whether you are really there and remember or not
is part of a pleasing life you are attempting to live

nothing else matters if you are dead it's too late so
now is the only time to please yourself and others
you love and want to make happy when you can

art is pleasing to make you want something to do
and put everything into it but letting it ruin lives
yours and others is completely missing the point

Regular Day

too late to eat anything else
or start or finish something
lost in the rush of nothing in
particular just a regular day

Knee Deep

nothing inheres but what you remember
from previous expeditions to the forest
knee deep in snow or feathery with ferns
unchanged except by season generations
slower than you can hope to comprehend
underlying mountain almost permanent

nothing inheres in you that is the earth
its own story unfolding in larger terms
care about what goes with who you are
you can't control what happens in the
great beyond or even here at home who
knows the story till it's over must be God

Still There

"I am for art which we do for each other as friends, for ourselves."
—Jonas Mekas

one success is too many
you will never be the same
and always wonder why
and how to do it again

it will spare you nothing
you will suffer as much
and be less understood
well-wishers envy-blinded

luckily few read reviews
so don't listen to praise
or think it widely known
everything is still there

Begin Now

trust understanding respect solidarity and love
begin now and extend indefinitely onward and
forward in time space people and animals we
may eat or be eaten by on another scale world
revolution will be required as we move ahead

One Meaning

like a demonstration of a life well lived
or busted for hitchhiking character and
fate connive to do undo best intentions

meanwhile work is being done plumber
coming in the morning roofer slower to
respond the sun getting hotter every day

one item after another expects attention
sooner or later getting done one meaning
clings to multiplicity another the simple

Ours to Play

even if I don't always say I'm sorry
you realize I am when I should be
thankful that I am not being judged
that is have already been accepted

this is no audition for either of us
the parts are ours to play as we can
and reimagine for a changing time
with or without audience approval

fortunately the weather improves
unfortunately earthquake threatens
meanwhile the house is insulated
fingers ready for the mystic dance

My Condition

your pulse my pulse
beating when we touch
is it real is it love
or only my condition

what is this-I-feel
only the bare beginning
of something special
and present every day

Chickens

I quite enjoy my little eggery
beginning and ending my active
days by tending to my jolly flock
I talk to them freely they chatter away
each expecting the other to perform
typical human and chicken behaviors
and really very rarely disappointed

Little Lapse

old flame still burning
despite the little lapse
never mind all that we
know each other truly
loving to the bitter end

Decent Work

suddenly I'm old the illusion of youthful
vigor impossible to maintain others notice
and are embarrassed or at least regretful
knowing the good times have to end and
God knows what transpire before I die

is it now or do I just need the right drug
to reverse disintegration bounce back for
another round of fun more decent work I
have to hurry up and finish or am I finally
a feeble old man unable to make the effort

let me retain my equanimity at least friend
of the inevitable the end of biography ever
death and loss of everything that mattered
whatever loved survivors regard as virtues
or character I'd offer them a fond goodbye

The Itch

Beethoven works to stop the itching
my hands too busy to scratch tai chi
too consumes and occupies the body
mind breathing transferring weight
writing is too intermittent pause for
thought and the itch leaps up all over
hungry for the satisfying fingernails

Gone Forever

never again always present
London young certain intimate
acts people I wanted to know
better suddenly gone forever