At 4 a.m.

isn't it awfully late to ask why are you not doing your homework
it must be awkward in school but you can't just stay in bed and
pretend it doesn't matter what kind of life do you want to have
I hear myself and it isn't pretty not the kind of thing I sleep through
what if I couldn't get out of bed turn on the light turn up the heat
that would be a pickle what would I do with my mind at 4 a.m.

Perfect Bliss

do you know does it show
where I've been what seen
can do have read enjoyed
consumed in perfect bliss

words in other languages
composers up the kazoo
numbers frivolous sports
never perfect still trying

no it's too late now good
is good enough knowing
its own reward art travel
too much hope any more

Lovely

I should have said yes
coffee with the cheerful elementary school ladies would have been fun
how else will I ever know them
no thank you and the moment passes
remember the default answer is yes
that would be lovely

Like This

my documents have been modified many times
moves cast changes intentions understandings
missed gained grew shrank practiced dreamed
learned something measureless in its meaning

write me down like this

How Hard

what I said still counts
I meant it at the time so
thought through troughs
pay attention if you can

I know how hard it is
to grok what matters
as you come and go on
changing exponentially

we are the same world
transfigured around us
this moment sums up
all we were becoming

Nothing More

if driving counts I've done but no
it gets you somewhere that's not
enough since place has meaning
only if you think it does I don't

so many negatives add nothing
more than knees hands touch
serious conversation a jumble
fewer years than known before

if that were it I would already
be here now I am as if I hadn't
gone chickens waiting house
warm glowing welcome chair

Happy Accident

as human is enough so do
some years less than other
imposing dead expectance
what will solve everything

the key turns the meaning
finally revealed rises like
stop-motion roses smoky
light like happy accident

others bring distant cities
fly in briefly live with us
colder than realized being
punctuate our pacific timea

Significant Figures

I feel I must one or more considering the odds
either or not present for gradual usage degrees

a yawn a laugh an earlier bedtime not required
eventual wretchedness and waste now or later

somebody else told what should be jazz music
forgets manners at peril of indecisive siblings

the whole story bored me silly boy shut down
significant figures in a field of alternate being

Sleep On

time-space clear for what possible
clean floors pillow comfort warm
nap on a cold rainy afternoon set
phone at thirty minutes then what

sleep on what years what loving
might have been earlier or later
as if art leaves any mark except
experience documenta or scars

search out every time happened
discretely jerks or pauses who is
counting remembering who was
there before the black curtain fell

What Else

if not journals then a memoir
if not poetry then prose if not
a play then a novel if not fact
fiction what else can there be

Not Enough

I'm reeling aching cold although the house
warm stiff arthritic dazed I have to lie down
no I'm fine just a momentary lapse I need
to figure out what I'm doing this not enough

what is enough I made a button "Enough!"
ha ha "Es ist genug" enough house rooms
cars food love more meaning insight art
every day renewed effort realizing more

Fresh Air

lost files may reappear
from who knows where
lost vase lost teaspoon
few mysteries add spice
everything not known
lets in surprise fresh air

you had forgotten air
to breathe freely happy
the day opening wide
limitless possibilities
no pollution politics
only this unique time

remember time so odd
the way it only matters
in an instant only can be
talked about in clumps
summary can't justify
generalize ourselves

Its Meaning

sex art love-home-living
the world society the body
I am leaving too much out
out of sensible discretion
other writing obligational
the story needs to be told
how else find its meaning
have at it no time to lose

Weird Ideas

if you knew what was going to happen
would you do what it takes do this that
follows or something else maybe better

be ready for anything you can imagine
fate has different weird ideas against
all odds bodies go on do what you can

what it was will be different the next
big arrival unexpected after little plans
work out even smoother than expected

Wrong Foot

bookpile dwarfs disk stream
promises hours obligation to
read every word understand
another soul mind working

I could blow it off but won't
be wrong foot or note sharp
or blue music condescends
to be heard behind the cry

excuse my being real crazy
things happen in books and
life goes on being what you
like before or after reading

Real Friends

meaningless landscapes unless you want to
think affordable intelligence think time for
conscious lunch real friends in high places

My Story

in the fellowship of money
nothing but money will do

my hand to your mouth no
choice but to the choosing

admires his lowly workers
doing all their jobs himself

how can I truly sympathize
my story one of these many

Call Me

if I think of something I will tell you
not to hold your horses for too long
or breath for the length of the pool
is it too much to ask me if you do

if you hear nothing call me I may
need rescue or repair say where
and when you are in case it be
like the others thrown open wide

I will still be here in the morning
whether or not it rains dream if I
can kiss the baby face soft warm
family confident we all can care

Mind First

don't count the cost except you do
must should fair travesty of wealth
protect the possibilities mind first

then next body better thank skillful
surgeon right place timely graphic
reconstruction impeccably aligned

going-on the character we identify
forgetting what the other knows
of being there together as a child

Rich Friends

possibility of music if you build
rich friends will come we know
one or two accidentals misheard
deny me nothing good experience

complain without caring rancour
delayed effect or bitterness at the
root easy to say more than meant
more than metaphor like chickens

I conclude with affirmation as if
eloquent tissues atingle extract my
body and begone dull woe shadow
self be beautiful in the rising light

The Romantic

a good night's sleep may include the morning
tide of doing ebbs and rises nothing stairsteps
breathing variants continue ten different birds

a good day's work entails dream time outside
boundaries welcome interruptions if you can
try harder than Mozart easier than Brahms

a good life's love involves others satisfaction
shared embracing contrary rhythms overlap
enmesh essence the Romantic is expression

You Like

this could be that or anything
you like what you like liking

the word replaced the thing
itself not otherwise existing

thin thinking if you think so
what if it never was the same

Still Me

it doesn't matter where I am
it's still me still the life I'm
making pay no attention to
place cars what happens to
be there something has to be

More Fun

ocean blue sky too cool
change darks full moon
today is not tomorrow

road war spares named
seats warmed unwilling
women welcome love

I follow a sound down
doubtless misleadingly
provoke dull questions

yield means give way
in Britain cooler blood
makes clubs more fun

Knowing All

what is secret can harm I like
telling knowing all the real is
what is being done poignant
health wealth unconditional
embraces without regret the
moon on the cusp of fullness

go on reveal everything you
dare I forgive accept you as
it is my way pass judgment
only if cruel greedy hurting
honest selfishness no crime
be generous unveil the fact

As Expected

I really have no idea how many times I have done this before. Certain details are inexplicably different, others identical, every moment unavoidably familiar, one islet of spontaneity lost in a sea of practice. Something supposedly new, like 3-D, is pretty much as expected, occasionally subtle, engaging enough once you get used to the weirdness. I drifted off. Smoothness is good, my taste in dance less frantic, furious, desperate. I loved the locations—that monorail! Doing the same thing again is who I am, what I like, what I choose, what is given me to do.

Blue Smoke

fog in the morning
a puff of blue smoke
where am I
break for lunch
backs flat against trees
miles of orchards
genius Dostoyevsky
proved by technology
balks my pleasure
improved by age
haze remains

Forty Dollars

mountain heaven freeway hell speed
beyond seeing safe for forty dollars

lacking master read William James
read William John Locke or write

being there already here do tai chi
eat sleep drive all day finish circle

We Pretend

too late or large enough all
judgments make no sense
except perhaps taste which
we pretend is neither good
nor bad knowing what we
like is good only when it
ends up like everyone else