Continuous Improvement

unaccountable bounty of experience
stacked against forgetting what one
received as if my due being young
and lucky in my historical timing
expecting continuous improvement

Slit Awareness

what is happening
is hardly all that is happening
even to me
forget the rest of the world
what I notice
narrows the slit awareness
not even noticed
no room for more in mind
can't watch movies
can't bear to go through it
more information too much
rut in the mud
imagines more still possible

Not Saying

self-criticism inevitably asserting self
necessity veiled in narcissistic mirror
blocks natural flow and accumulation
needed for living in the moment shared

not-to-be-spoken-of matters abound
absorbing possible attention to the real
arising constantly seeking expression
hidden by habit dressed as active choice

where is the open door to truthful being
beyond the half-attentive performance
before an audience of deplorable dolts
not saying what we most want to reveal

A Fig

what am I doing
basically nothing
why shouldn't I
relax and breathe
read at random
appreciate a fig
busy tomorrow

Still Yesterday

do I have to be interesting
can't I just relax whatever

isn't it still yesterday today
or did I miss a whole week

next week may well be worse
if not here then somewhere

if you can't get up I'll help
unless I can't get up either

Not Myself

I have not been myself for some weeks now
who was I then if to be is to be me or you
or everyone else figuring out how to exist
given all this confusion and horrible wars

I know myself by now and what is not myself
an absence mainly and something else too
stealing my well-being and self-confidence
I am well and confident soon happy again

Among Ruins

generous examples of goodness redeem
despair of no future because I have none
we live among ruins ruining everything
apples grapes cats kind people abound

Every Day

agreement sought and received
we can go ahead as intended a
knee replacement a European
tour a new president a miracle
drug a thunderstorm an ice cream
sundae every day of every week

No Excuses

language ages adapting to a new young
ignorant as we were when we were smart
it's your life you have to live in the now
moving as it always does in generations;

lay for lie offends me every time I hear it
especially from people who should know
better making who-whom errors in NYRB
on NPR even in Condé Nast's New Yorker

I don't really care I just know what's right
see little charm in being sloppy and losing
structural distinctions I've always enjoyed
I in the objective plain stupid no excuses

A Jolly Bounce

art is unexpected combinations
a post-postprandial nap slump
check writing record balancing
rain coming in through the roof
produced a jolly bounce in time
for company pingpong cooking
and a movie before time for bed

Evil Flowers

wrestling shrubbery for my sweetheart
these evil flowers beloved of butterflies
barely visible by the sinking sun I am
happy naturally warm at last I must
be high why not summer getting on

Even Right

that you truly believe
and may even be right
does not irmply that
everyone else is wrong

Bug Picture

little things take you over
and meanwhile the big picture
is a total disaster real problems
barely mentioned shared wrong
assumptions never questioned
and the juggernaut rolls on

Great Art

how can I walk home
three miles through the woods
it's suddenly completely dark
and I've lost my shoes

someone offers me a smoke
ridges of weed open-face on a wide paper
light it with a wooden match
surprisingly effective

in the morning the streets are empty
as if there never was a party
my friend sleeping with the windows open
and a trunkful of great art

Fine Surges

music is pattern mind
responds to organized
structures evolving in
formal gesture moving
to deliciously delayed
cadences of resolution

time more than passes
taken apart fine surges
of tenderness arise to
carry forward our own
desire for harmonious
unfolding now exact

Durable Goodness

just keeping track of what needs to be done
is a full-time job roof repair chicken fence
process the harvest into durable goodness
helpers help when they actually show up

and then there's the self aging body needs
appointments procedures regiments of pills
how you feel as if different from all of that
learning limits realize there's no going back

Monthly Fee

nothing is required
if dues stay paid

or did we convert
to a monthly fee

terms redefined
corporations rule

noncombatant old
equally in danger

Whole Story

if the man's achievement is his work
who is the man when not working if
reality comes into existence by being
transformed into something like art
what of moments that simply happen
and disappear is anything really over
if the whole story can never be told
the parts must stand for everything
these fragments the truth of existing
conditional temporary but all that is

Plenty More

flies are calibrated to annoy
which isn't fair to them or us
brings out the human desire
to kill and of course they die
there are plenty more flies
people too for that matter
which doesn't make killing
what annoys right or good

Hours Late

I could easily pass out
in the searing soda-ginger soak
reading about the siege of Malta
but I don't
instead arise and proceed as if normally
shave apply unguents
all over my unhappy body
and dress for the gym
hours late

Me Enough

high altitude enjoying same sunshine
nightly report formalizes end of day
easy to imagine warming up the bed

my own low life continues trajectory
adapts to unexpected developments
me enough despite random settings

All New

if I can't still play the piano
will music come back to me

music too long all known
background to writing life

only playing lets me yield
to its insistent dramatics

recedes like so much else
into an art-saturated past

listening now I remember
listening when it all was new

By Himself

no one noticed that he went off by himself
but when they did he would be in trouble
these dream fragments rarely seem to apply
any expectation of coherence is misleading
what you dread is the established protocol
the system takes over and you lose all control
when your body betrays you where can you go

No Normal

each existing counts absolutely
while it lasts the music breathing
with the shift of weight gently
sustaining available emotions

my view and symptoms typical
of privilege the relatively few
survive in time to wonder why
others might think them trivial

each fate what it is no normal
way of staying human despite
everything going wrong future
dubious for all of us at once

Still Coherent

strange feelings hot and cold vaguely
disoriented eyes dilated unsure of hip
still coherent function normally oddly
cheerful considering how the meaning
of everything has changed if I can say
what I mean more specifically I should

New World

an "ideological certification"
I would never pass although
I am as American as anyone
born in the heartland loving
our prairies and wide skies
great cosmopolitan eastern
cities where I learned love
can I still be myself in this
pitifully failing new world