Actual Ideas

look it up tantalus the bottles
visible but locked away we go
patient writing tiring reading
Shaw going into every detail I
have to admire great writers
who have sufficient fortitude

lost arts handmade cigarettes
gentlemen appreciated at the
court sparkling conversations
actual ideas filthy gossip too
we are so tame these days do
the program as if we wrote it

We Laugh

everything is a joke but not laughable
what is funny I need to know is it me
is it in me sometimes we laugh freely

I will think of something I always do
no rushing it but fortune favors being
ready set going more than entrances

fanatical physical training is different
every sport pays off millions for stars
take it to the edge and sometimes lose

I am not afraid of failure too late to be
nor reaching for success enough to see
the fantasy enacted people made real

Nature's Truth

the game is exciting in itself
not because of the music only
if we are good if true enough
if nature's truth is good am I
no it is cruel and capricious
we must transcend our very
selves define what should be

Never Tested

he didn't want to be better he wanted
to be different unique the only one

why repeat what others had done
with more resources better actors better

scorn conventional success be sui generis
his truth never tested if never seen

such ego required to be unappreciated
how brave to be human let it hang out

who knows what is good anyway though
most can agree to some degree

he wanted to be as good as he could
knowing his limits share his gifts

Possible Desires

I thought all that was behind me
sour grapes bad dogs all that lot
I had bitter feelings I had in fact
fled broken empty kidded myself
I was starting over good as new
everything still possible desires
intact I could be bothered to care
as much knowing way more and
better beginning here and now
it is with me always completely
known as if it never really was

More Butter

go right on
while you can
do anything
say yes yes
just a minute
and it's over

play ball
if you know
how many
times two or
more butter
in Spanish

forgive us
bad language
cruel jokes
bad decisions
see how hard
to be wrong

Transcendent Worth

if you ever wonder which is The Most beautiful
Chopin Nocturne try Op. 27 No. 1 in C Sharp I
swoon and flow and want to play it again forever

and wonder that this sublime sensitivity is there
within me all the time within each of us around
the world why because it is our reason for being

what better only love in its moment recurring
as we echo the glamour of the seasons planets
resonate to frequencies that animate the mind

it is the center from which all springs including
practicalities and circumstantial time let it be
known and valued in its full transcendent worth

Tiny Oranges

stay oh stay
return to my arms
suddenly it is over
ever to recur
but I am not the same
nor need be

Haydn remains fresh
tiny oranges
renew my taste
and I love you
willing to go
to come back again

This Moment

starved for impressions suddenly
satisfied Patti Smith Mark Twain
too rich to process conversations
welcome thanks new friends and
usefulness never too late to start

this moment remind myself this
moment everything flows again
shared fascination actual peers
possibility of thought to be part
of something greater than self

Still Erect

talk burns and feeds the fire
what to do absent stimulus
nothing better than to teach

other similar gigs will come
if I can walk on ice I do the
Minnesota shuffle still erect

giving tears for future good
plenty more than nothing to
match innocence awakened

Theatre Talk

a nightcap in a babble of theatre talk
say again how I like the Middle West

two problematic shows promise more
interesting reviews who will say what

time to myself hardly missed spacing
out have fun when I talk to strangers

Something Good

the plains are great and so are the people
1500 fired-up students inspire the teachers
including me remembering we love to do it
such joy pack theatre see something good

to be among peers for a welcome change
that others care and stake their lives on it

Thicker Air

living is swimming
if swimming is flying
both fluids water
is thicker air

New Again

better to leave nothing behind than
stop in the middle as we always do
I make the bed and wash the dishes

what exists seems solid then it isn't
time ravages what it doesn't mellow
I empty the trash and cut the grass

nothing stays the same except we
keep it change it make it new again
I write my words and kiss my love

Why Ever

going and coming comes before
going and coming again again if
that's clear you'll believe anything
I say so what I say is not so what
but why ever ask me and I answer

then again she smiled at us both
we thought father and son walked
past and only later began to speak
what we thought before how mind
work resonates with a classic text

Still Here

if you didn't tell I wouldn't know
and wonder whether you were
still alive it makes a difference
even if I never saw you I felt
the pressure of your existence

the world is not the same without
you in it all I say mysterious
past might as well be present if
told the others all find out
and I am you and you still here

Kind Words

one indulgence after another I don't
just want to be happy I want to have
fun best books film plays music art
every comfort goodies all the time

virtue can be simple regularity rise
early do your stuff remember what
chores free others right livelihood
kind words gentle courage wisdom

For Ellen Stewart

how could she have done so much
be old and young at once I showed
her a script she asked for pictures
requesting a play about centaurs
I never wrote it she wouldn't have
read it but I could have done it in
her theatre if I could get a centaur

I screamed and threw things when
she didn't help me get a gun then
got it myself that was how it went

fierce later hungry for credit which
she richly deserved not my mama
I was not her boy but loved her do
praise long-running Ellen amazing
transformer powering all our art

To You

the space is in my head
the matter in my heart

matter not space is energy
I give it all to you

Dark Days

just as you are feeling secure something
happens your hip gives out the car won't
start and more bad news dark days fix it
awhile consider how long things worked
well how the balance tips toward beauty

Barely Able

Shaw means me his scorn stings I am
a parasite if we all are do no harm is
not enough to undo history what else
to read many more than a love story

fact facing makes me put on weight
cinnamon to energize milk to soothe
my soul my hip nerves taking it easy
makes leisurely walking barely able

Say Anything

different translations far too different
twenty becoming thirty up the stairs
becoming down and the play survives
so little matters what we say we might
say anything still be understandable
who we are more manifest in attitudes
what we do seen in how others react or
not seeing everything artificial natural
expression unneeded you can imagine

Do Anything

so much to read
together and apart
and plenty of time
even with chickens
still a fantasy but
coming this way

imagine a house
three-dimensional
probably build it
projects are good
walking again I
can do anything

Murmuring Strings

the flute charms me over murmuring strings
like an enchantment from a purer unreality

deliberate hesitation expresses sensitivity I
don't like it wouldn't want to play it like that

music moves forward let it carry me no way
can stop until the end unless you turn it off

choice has limits no one can predict sudden
collapse tragic intervention everyday love

Chosen Rhythm

the same motions keep me free
they were chosen and are again
pleasing to the recurring moment
place being the same only slowly
cycling through seasons or ages

this is the chosen rhythm not too
fast but going along interrupted
inconveniently and then resumed

if it works you do it again even if
it doesn't the same mistakes we
default to repetition slowly learn
don't go on it hurts too much give
in go on just do it if you want to

Finely Tuned

say something first then a movie
maybe do my Netflix duty maybe
pray for better bitter chocolate be
grateful in pain a mild distraction

gratefully mild my walls are solid
toilets flush garbage collected on
Friday without fail joy in pleasure
finely tuned another day of grace

If True

coded message leave us wondering
is the introduction the whole story
necessarily more interesting if true
just say it you don't need it framed

in Faulkner's baroque transparency
a horse runs into the bedroom the
man jumps out the window so far
it's hilarious we are all transfixed

if I could walk I would better do it
in the water in the house I use a
stick at the post office I was stuck
are you all right then I could go on

Other Cities

within the city a living room
within this living room food
five theatres other cities any
thing you want to go home

diagnosis in codes say what
am I to do something again
or else what is the damage
this time is it under control

three-to-one positivity new
formula for thriving has to
be sincere be old ahead of
time content who you are

Paying Attention

if I didn't say so I didn't mean it
or just wasn't thinking sometimes
I go blank or I was thinking but
couldn't find words and then forgot

saying still counts even if I often
can't remember whom I said it to
was it you did you acknowledge I
take it for granted you understand

thinking is not saying and even then
the other person may not hear you
may not be paying attention that's
the key it's mutual both of you must

Best Yet

play myself playing Mompou no stopping
time even now slips as the moment blinks
it is already too late it is already all over

five minutes perhaps practiced for hours
over months we know how to throw our
party again by now this year's best yet