Monday, October 31, 2005

"No Problem"

too many young beautiful spending cluttered sidewalks teeming mall silk cashmere merino wool tempting disappointing Pumas better nothing morning radio talk friends helpful publicize our enterprise halloween big here work draw light plot pick colors watch rehearsal plan cues deja vue again Center Stage same pleasure talent slow unfolding revolve parts missing set a day late "no problem" in my element

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Best Sushi

last day off too perfect lunch Ginnie breakwater nap destroyed afternoon Alfreds birthday dinner Arigato best sushi each bite symphonic epiphany like Charlotte Rampling naked realities age love India Europe beach sleep faucet fix leftover cake remains thinking thin

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Day One

no surprise Santa Barbara same "beautiful" balmy car rent check in Bickys view supper rehearsal all stars plays challenge dream lighting design stage above eye level Dux bed dreamy soft pillows smoothest sheets granola strawberries yoghurt grapefruit Maurie Holly coffee house remodel chaos mind meeting lights downtown lunch Alfred Hannah Paradise read Libby shop shoes fail Debussy nap meet Murray Bicky birthday dinner party ten talk Hitler News-Press mourning city stories eat wine chocolate cake game suddenly gone whoosh day one

Friday, October 28, 2005

Here Comes

ready go California here not here patter twinkle glow green gold Carol lesson then airport lunch Im off solo nonstop future bound nay present another place loved ones birthdays art friends renew this now on hold pregnant desk long distance love nothing stops watch us perform appointed acts weather music costumes paper presents antique soy pot Bicky homemade pickles Alfred here comes downpour Schubert me

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Thinking Person

Scarlattis birthday Josh Leos vlog Kerouac made it cool to be a thinking person seeking a spiritual experience Ethan Hawke Zolas "Nana" Rocketboom year one complete computer advice hail meaning in relationship geese cry passing fog deer bounce David Huth "Loren Ipsum" paper dead not love books unimaginable

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Polar Ice

polar ice melting how pay attention particular the meaning is in the details close immediate music one or few notes at a time moving rhythm tensions harmonic pulse tighten relax as if sung what matter nothing is real death will dissolve only children art remain unique life particular

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Band Practice

umbrella porch porch soft Oregon night racket band practice nearby metal garage extrude my memories for Richard Buck depowered hurricane Wilma search truth recall not necessarily right viewpoint in- visible assumptions color fragments fact these pieces book making Johnny Dodd despite himself complete not possible despite love ever seeks desire burns hot not possible purer honor living dead

Monday, October 24, 2005

My Pictures

"Steel Magnolias" lighting setup answered trust questions grant new dimmers instruments ahead tin cans today Andrew Richard coming help how frankly speak worlds coexist beyond judgment cat skull opium pills double memento mori withered roses valentine shadows pencil water wineglass billowing rocks woman in river erect penis my pictures

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Irony Free

36 waist too tight too loose can I go back to 34 remember 30 ah the shape irony free hospital auxiliary Follies jokes mime sing elder farmers wives email cast plans Brad Santa Barbara rep setup Id rather start blank oh well use what have vision arises accept easy no more virtue hard Glen Berger "Lintel" bravura I was here too clever performance crisp

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Lovely Talk

lovely talk Michele Bicky Carol drive sunshine grass intensely green trees dark red accents house clean Renato called Big Boy confirmed dates dance ahead calling promising bright raga sonata French suite tabla tamboura flute tactile moving present personal connected electrical fly smoke checks paid bills rising float our mutual illusion while music lasts

Friday, October 21, 2005

Last Days

the last days begin no this the middle tune harpsichord about time shame mow green lawns Ben Brantley Elizabeth Murray help me laugh

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Carry On

love rivalry transgression in sacred Sanskrit did not "go" at Wesleyan so... gangster film anticipate Christmas loves New England what is the message life l-i-f-e LIFE! carry on uncle mentor Alfred Brooks 89 in Denver afterlife lovely order slowly empty accept his body work sparkles invisible history immortal art more available ever burst theatre walls tiny audience happenings resonate hyperspace hypertime boost trembling now tender feelings for each other decades instants constant richer

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Find Me

how can I get googled stumble upon me please or is this am I not simply generating a text publicize myself go public market in order to work do my art invitation open share my delight tickled diverted encouraged to think what you will find me here welcoming responsive virtually real manifest life force

All Forms

Nathanial Flick: The Marines will teach you everything I love you too much to teach you. Nietzsche said the commonest form of human stupidity is forgetting what it is that we're trying to do. blog new form videoblog extend beyond theatre play artifact communal gather flesh writing blog videoblog send out consumed solo multitudes broadcast seed solitudes snip time detach place add music reference the real includes all forms every narrative I do both balance Libran report experience

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

On Time

process extraction cleanup pack lock wait bus outside Port Authority no sign guidance kid sells ticket bus comes whale in traffic cheerful driver manage mind on time JFK electronic checkin searched hamburger sports bar reading Budapest plane not so comfortable bedtime sitting up stretch day too long hour drive home nearly too sleepy vague warm welcome glad collapse surreal how different New York is from anywhere else I love it dense intense energy eager now weeks there

Monday, October 17, 2005

First Orgasm

beautiful day friends wind theatre religion lunch Lou Provenzano Odeon open fellowship warm he gave Oreos Cuban music Dominican cable guys happiness erupts walk Soho Village east St. Marks memories Rev. Billys Church of Stop Shopping Jerry in the choir praise god of first orgasm with true love raise dollars Guatemala Chiapas mud relief many hued beard bus stranger thanks my long ago reviews home chill jacket dinner Serenas luxury order in Thai eggplant okra for me reminiscing young sex ignorance later learned appreciate honest at last

Sunday, October 16, 2005

My People

La Mama Troupe reunion thirty years later rush old friends surviving Michael Billy Marilyn Mari-Claire Sally Rochelle Ellen fun among my people glad to be godfather illusory significance theatre ephemeral Polonia Bob John borscht blintzes Penny Arcade harangue thoughtful right raving exhausted after second thoughts midsleep need personality not young talent every inside world unpredicted timeless hangout

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Good News

huge mobbed Modern day off reward loved especially James Turrell mysterious red light big red Matisse blue window old friends missed piano lesson Pollock Klein Twombly Newman Reinhardt where women others better Hofmanns in Berkeley better Rothkos London Gorky Johns even Rauschenberg surprised how much authority convince presence the Warhols have orange car crash soup cans skipped Picasso Monet except water lilies whole museums of them Paris Barcelona no personal looking anymore alas people flock to art its worse at the Uffizi shopped downtown shoes having seen wonderful red ones on a guy in subway should have pounced asked where liked movie Squid Whale teenage sex misery corrected coffee Pinter Nobel good news

Friday, October 14, 2005

Loyal Care

mind grind night pointless calls morning decisions made crazy cast new assembled theyll all be good do good work worth it time friends tape Patti recollect Johnny romance gay hostility dubious straight I know deepest satisfaction loyal care city country unimaginable balance dire intensity ease human range unfolding fate risk rain plan simple competence

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Too Bad Young

first day auditions 35 actors probably casting two too many young sent young women away one stayed to read with men beautiful good too bad young theatre helpful works fine I love my lines actors respond it rained all day 3.54 inches breaking daily record wiped after grateful nearby dinner apartment refuge more today

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Oh Well

hard sidewalks hurt legs subway two buses upper east lunch Petaluma sisters friend Sothebys exciting auction one photo bid up past half million fast greed reared ugly head brought down when my Arbus went for my reserve sorry say goodbye oh well enough to pay for "Trouble" another bus slow traffic hate city coffee Time Warner gradually better Juilliard Orchestra Dennis Russell Davies Carnegie Hall again again Webern great new Rautavaara lush Schubert heavy thick too loud

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Eerie Rerun

42nd St Starbucks Times nearby internet cafe subway Village lunch Jimmy Camicia show budgets bus east kiss Crystal Theater for the New City four theaters shipshape cleaner space is fine actor auditioned Tess reading terrific could do it sit down Crystal many production details more performances Wednesdays pay-what-you-can renegotiated administrative nut help net some Patti met me bubbly walked 13th Broadway these New York streets deeply familiar eerie rerun Tom O'Horgan gorgeous loft images instruments tape interview his memory gone still thrills great people director find themselves open walk Washington Square ugly lampshades bad art coffee talk chi gong romance usher union beads wander used up subway hamburger home Heather called after midnight suggesting many actors

Monday, October 10, 2005

Same Changing

all night JetBlue squirming no real sleep dawn soon hours gone descend clouds arrive Donald there recognized thirty years later old men losses gains rough roads known sights memories openings new old buildings park New York same changing like oneself keys apartment unlived alone shop eat nap buy new sheets fix vacuum clean better good dinner reading Mary Woronov "Swimming Underground" where Steven Watson got the Mole People knew them never called that at the time

Saturday, October 08, 2005

No Match

anxiety waves horrible feeling passes time slow fast everything happens Im really going man of my time no choice these solo think no match people talk look act are themselves densely human Ill be sans computer some days how I will blog well we shall see

Friday, October 07, 2005

Red Peppers

is it time for dinner I didnt have lunch till three everything is getting done the rest can wait zucchini rice butter blue cheese pickled red peppers bourbon Piazzolla New Yorker Talk New Orleans politics pain grant app Brush Creek dimmers lights "Trouble" words scripts "sides" laughing at my own lines

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Planning Parties

Papers reordered put away phoning emailing stirring lining up actors to audition city energies palpable ready Maurie call rehearsing "Blue Heart" Santa Barbara Bicky planning parties me present movie night cooked eggplant yummy showed "The Misfits" Montgomery Clift brilliant Miller voice unmistakable all talk like New Yorkers

Wednesday, October 05, 2005


birthday seventy do I pay unqualified attention to anyone this old do I pay attention does anyone this old have anything left to do silly I am younger than they are this age sweet as any other creative juices running strong lucky blessed love in bloom

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Casting Call

Open auditions for my play "Trouble" Wednesday & Thursday, Oct. 12 & 13, 4-8 p.m. Theatre for the New City 155 First Avenue New York, New York Characters are: Tall striking mature woman, powerful personality Imposing mature man, powerful personality Andy Warhol impersonator Macho businessman Prison guard My website is up at

Monday, October 03, 2005

Do More

August Wilson rememberer ten play cycle gone at fifty warm human appreciation Steven Watson "Factory Made" I knew Andy's in-house guys Billy Gerard liked my poem need assistant do more write books out archiving excavation not stop now

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Casual Symmetry

everything is interesting mint sprigs casual symmetry bottomless history anywhere inner unfurling writing itself Bach counterpoint exquisite German transcendant I do not stop to write this only snatch it running like water carried out studio last brisk days of sixty-nine boy soprano digitized fence a game deer dont play does finger hesitate quick twisting notes fluids flow less freely chocolate taste as good sex recede same old spirit expression anatomized in time

Between Rains

dig words wrestled six selves back fifteen sixteen already writing poem story novel play fragments posing as a writer Kansas City still audible same impulse practice refined I tenderly preserve them muck out gutters between rains