Friday, March 25, 2005
Cloud Forms
something is happening to violet
she does not want to talk much anymore
she is going to show josh a new side
maybe she wants to appear distant
she has never called him to ask when or if she will see him
he said please feel free to call and even ask to see him
she cannot
spring is almost in the air
her friend louis calls
tells her again how much he loves her
louis is a hermaphrodite
someone she can trust and share any emotion with
in her moments of shameless seductions
she declines for her love of josh
last night she had dinner with vinny the wild leo
vinny reaches her sense of wild abandonment
they were lovers for ten months ten years ago
vinny's raunchy side is attractive to violet
she wonders what josh might feel if he walked by
the restaurant and saw them acting familiar
laughing uncontrollably
something josh and violet have not done
it is important for josh that violet be just with him
she does not mind
she gave up other men before he asked her
she did not want anyone to touch her except josh
she never told him
she did not want him to feel trapped
rose plays a big part in violet's life
rose is in love with violet
she has been in love with her from the first time she saw her
make myself make calls help me
Tich Nhat Han in Hanoi:
you see a cloud and begin to love it with deepening compassion
now you fear it will change form and no longer be a cloud
it could rain
it could be in your tea
then you realize it is always the same
a cloud taking many forms
you see there is no birth
no death
nothing to fear
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