Better Known

small town pleasures match desire
to be stronger with better balance
keep up with chores keep working
I'm enjoying it too much to stop

satisfaction is allowed in passing
on to the next moment occasions
for declaration few will appreciate
still thrill self slowly better known

Before Bed

the first nut (almond) has all the flavor
then fades second helpings not as good
another and another looking for the first

and yet being old is pleasant or can be
you have learned what matters or not
what you like and can readily sustain

a dozen almonds before bed a glass of
milk the night noisy in the novel but
quiet here the longing largely stilled

Good Habits

habit is not bad if it's good
watch yourself watching it

good habits smooth life if
you choose them carefully

good habits make it easier
to stay healthy and loving

break them occasionally
keep them alive and real

Satisfying Patterns

I am compelled to do this
then that the time is come
I must do what I do or not
then tomorrow come again

write read practice snack
you know the usual no one
insisting or keeping track
the machinery mine own

how pleasant to arrive at
satisfying patterns easily
maintained actions I know
I can once again perform

No Doubt

did I mean to close the door yes
I know the water is running yes
remember to put the chickens in
I mean everything I do and say

like to think we all do no doubt
knowing you are conscious too
and self-aware have confidence
in each other if we can stand to

Carry On

everything must stay the same
routine events occur on schedule
or the boat rocks inner confusion
distracts from the novel we are
reading or writing remain calm
at all costs panic can cost lives

or other causes intervene from
heaven as it were chance play
reliable as other propositions
inner processes undermining
plans to travel be young again
counting on luck to carry on

Too Smart

is it because she is too
smart that she dominates
conversation whatever
comes up she takes over
you think of something
but don't get to say it
no pauses nothing new
can arise her thoughts
fill time not minding
any interests of others
ever charming but so
fast you have to fight
not to be struck dumb

Pumpkin Pie

loved ones together this is perfect
we even made a pumpkin pie
this night when Christ was born
adequate vehicle for whipped cream
followed the recipe on the can
so many presents under the tree
that's all right presents are good

Do Anything

don't want to write
don't want to read
don't want to play music
don't want to talk
must I do anything
it's dark outside
cold
raining
cozy in here
Christmas tree beaming
easily chair bearing
all systems go

Some Choice

whizbang new inventions seem irrelevant
news in a rut predicting worse something
happening but not what you think should
know better not nothing still Christmas
nostalgia genuinely enjoyable excuse to
be together enjoy each other that's real

so this is the new beginning I hope you
realize how much it matters what you
think all determined by feelings but you
have some choice which ones to make
important conditioned values subject to
change if you decide you really want to

We Care

our fire wouldn't burn
hard as we tried as it's
been raining for days I
cut up the remains of a
birch Carol topped it
kept falling over little
twigs quickly flamed
glowed went out real
pieces wouldn't light
I threw on gasoline
big flash practically
singed my eyebrows
the sun sees we care

First Step

music is now and anytime
and the dead stay young

now is when you play it
sing it hear it whenever it
was written or first sung
and the dead stay young

here the end is beginning
first step toward renewal
already walking faster in
balance easy confidence
pain is readily forgotten
and the dead stay young

A Whole World

I had a stimulating conversation with Harold Pinter, who had a curious way of working, cutting up his text into tiny slips of paper containing single lines of type, or phrases or even single words, and pasting them down on 6 x 9 cards. I tried to help him with some revisions, which had the potential to become hideously confusing. "'He lived in Paris.' I love that line," he said. I said, "Isn't language wonderful—a single word invokes a whole world."

Thinking Fast

better than I was if not enough
what else will improve futures
built of rumor hope denial faith
required to do anything bravely
love leaps forward thinking fast

resolve to face the needed fear
awake to broken reverie weak
hurting unable choose oblivion
kindly offered you will return
if not as you were before better

Next Bed

I want the world to end to avoid
what's really going to happen is
the whole story of this rainy day
what's rain to me or me to rain

I have to continue to exist no
hiding from that even Hillary
gets sick once in a while feel
so bad you really want to die

snug routine subject to wear
like other parts rely on that oh
they truly help but nobody can
take my place in the next bed

Not Me

"…the ambiguous nature of temporality made clear by the timeless exertion of consciousness…" (Frank O'Hara, on Edwin Denby)

I am slowly learning to read
not just the words or who
wrote them (why) not just
comprehending meanings

I am slowly starting to see
the thing someone has done
on purpose (what is it) may
be about its own becoming

I slowly begin to realize I
completely misunderstood
imagined it entertainment
for someone (who) not me

Endless Input

what are we to do with our
intelligence is grotesquely
corrupted yet real that I am
smart don't forget assemble
effortlessly juggle wordage
we all process endless input
some faster prize economy
of gesture catch ourselves
seeing ourselves through
challenge become content

Too Much

flow on words of my own
language more than enough
say what you will the world
is bigger than I can imagine
Kelley going to India where
every region speaks only to
itself in its childhood ways
English or Hindi for adults
we Americans struggling to
understand what others say
the little we know too much

All Good

to give takes more than less offered
fallen are the blessed anthromorphs
swollen with desire we tunnel deep
seeking the words for what we lack

genius redeems a permanent world
suddenly doubtable despite all good
nor age nor illness enters in Pyrrhic
victory praise not our great undoers

Hard Times

get over expecting things to go smoothly
although they usually do make ready for
hard times try not to get grumpy try not
to let it bring you down when everything
goes wrong philosophy may not prevail
in the end surely better than nothing

Beautiful Song

program unfolding creative months
doing little bits the building rises
books appear order from disarray
like waves rising and falling both

rarely so crisp displayed confusion
diffidence disregard often mislaid
as if I had something to overcome
on the way to whatever I wanted

not new decorate for Christmas
or is it in the quiet application
ready when you are only delay
a little finish the beautiful song

Action Done

if new is an absolute value
what is to be done with old

as morning does not deny
night it follows everything

no excuse for laziness but
action done or to be done

made up thoughts might
replace actual experience

further inquiry of William
James when I've read him

Shopping Online

fun for some
others can't imagine
I just want to stay home
do all my shopping online

joke Santas
crowd the platform
can anyone begin anew
innocence be honestly lost

all clichéd
ironicized death
corrects presumption
renews the perfected page

People Talk

everybody has opinions whether or not they know
the facts be arguable wrong or deceptive practice
letting people talk I have to go in the other room

nobody asks me mine which I am loath to share
unless others agree that obviously I am correct
the general malign misdirected plain ridiculous

if that doesn't satisfy try something else when
hungry eat get glasses practice not stumbling
over words "King Lear" is exceptionally hard

Her Meanings

one word does more than another swell marker
yes for example or cinnamon brings possibility
history geography wild lives shared sensations

the writer is silent observant remembers stories
may tell everyone beware she may be watching
you and thinking I can use this I probably will

not you now not your story anymore more her
own quoted reworded her meanings emerging
in a word Victorian homosexual anything goes

All Great

Haydn Schubert instead of Beethoven Brahms
and a little Bach I'll play anything it's all great

Catch Up

no doubt you know better
I know I do if I remember

or whether the same thing
can possibly happen again

or feel the way it once did
when I could be surprised

I wasn't really but said so
anyway others went ahead

we'll catch up with you we
said but knew we wouldn't

Between Jerks

faced with the entire field of meaning and time
ever immanent in the here now what is one to do

the present is where we actually are it comes in
quite solid blocks minutes hours days years in
the block it is one time not moving slow change
in the next block many things are different time
does not flow between jerks there is no time

My Motto

That's my motto: Do it.
What "it" is is who I am.

Only Words

how extreme can you be it's only words
distorted they strain to exist just letters
is not enough sentences are suggested
so anyone can follow along good luck

I want to go as far as Matisse Bartok
or the movies cut loose from common
sense and sensible meanings free to
say something nobody has ever heard

Tiny Flies

forgive myself for once
I'm not all bad I do my
bit I carry my share of
the load it is a pleasure

what else is there to do
but whatever comes up
again to be done again
so everything can go on

thus choosing to choose
I don't doubt you do too
moving hay and fences
killing off the tiny flies

Faking It

the young are smarter than they believe
and better use it while it lasts I'm sorry
I was so dumb but my native brightness
made up for it put myself down for lack
of confidence and ambition for thinking
I was faking it but I obviously was who
knew better Frank O'Hara but even he
could say it clear and not be heard it's
unsayable have a good time on the way
remember and then forget it if you can

One Thing

no trivia for this person
how can I go on interest
wanes as actuality waxes

always more to say but
isn't it all one thing these
sparkly sculptural sketches

how to think of living
being in the middle of
practically making sense

Just Enough

do everything at once the only way
is one thing at a time then on to the
other book you are reading do you
start another when you finish one
or wait to catch up heaven forbid
like having no future plans some-
thing always come up just enough
to squeeze the time a little squeeze
actually helps you get more done

Empty House

too long and heavy in the night when
nothing can be done no angel cohort
listening to opera and smoking grass
just a big cold empty house all dark

I could turn up the music lights heat
but nobody is there to hang out with
besides I'm doing stuff all day long
and need to be semi-awake to do it

there is nothing for it but to give in
live by the schedule one is assigned
although theoretically free consider
what it will cost to defy all custom

What We Like

open up
what is it going to be
something delicious
to you not necessarily to me
you don't like eggplant
I don't like milk chocolate
although I do like chocolate milk
chary with salt till it's on my own plate
I like what you like and more
we eat and do what we like
now swallow
now breathe

Take Me

crystallizing thought-forms another
form of solitaire keeping me pure
oh take me I have something to say

and if you don't I pine not too much
to ask push button train eyes focus
mind on matter nourishment on living

"No Problem"

I say no problem and it isn't
nothing is a problem peeling
apples took a long time but
is it a problem no it's what I
do apples make applesauce

same with corrections more
fun like directing designing
not a problem the problem is
bad governance bad leaders
following history downhill

Money Helps

nobility does no good a fiction
seems persuasive while it lasts
being right doesn't always help
more often not the ruthless win

are they happy probably most
of the time money helps not
worry things happen anyway
meanwhile they have the toys

Warning

permanent holes accumulate
don't fall in

Something Strange

just when you think you know what to expect
something strange happens
don't be afraid
it might be funny on some level
falling into the abyss
satisfies the need for an end

Deeper Matters

theatre still moving Judith "Here We Are"
the winter play on Clinton Street I won't
get to see living as I do on the other coast

authenticated previously contumacious
days gone by deeper matters matter more
the struggle for peace and justice goes on

in the form of art displays her integrity
other virtues persist by persisting last
pure manifesto of true political vision

What I Think

seriously there's too much to say
anything only rearranging words
Kelley can talk about the meaning
of life really fun to do it with her
but seriously I've already done it
every day and know nobody cares
what I think useful only to myself

What Is

what isn't there
haunts what is
it suddenly arises
like a melody in Brahms
from the ambiguity
and confusion
beauty can't really
be said to exist

This Rain

I've heard this little melody before
enchanting harmonies and intervals
another time another war remember

this rain fell then as loudly dashed
against the windows the same gales
we weathered when we were young

precious air we breathe still healthy
water falling from a different sky
tears for different fallings yet again

Who Won

nor did I sleep when the music
though the men were wild who
needed to be watched or know
who won or lost by how much

neither did the rain fall after
the singers climbed the stairs
one fell down then bouquets
occasioned smiles applause

I was glad we came though
I tried not to staying home
best but breaks are needed
between the cruel seasons

Nothing Else

accumulating losses effect the difference
between youth and what follows after we
age like whatever you like friends lovers
falling into the past not to be seen again
dream hauntings recall the once possible
realization of what we might have been
but nothing else can happen on that front
we go on to something else forget but not
really never goes away we are lessened

What's What

Jerry gone like that with no goodbye
thankful still alive for Thanksgiving
years ago his pastries not the same

a life complete with everything you
think rock and roll serious gardening
doing things for others being himself

he found this farm for us helped us
make happen permits good decisions
knew better than most what's what

wry humor of many wounds steady
loving under pressure funny man I
honor his being informs this place

Next Time

silent dread unwarranted or not taxing
so the rainy night drive took its toll
on my eyes a kind of sleepiness blur
strain talking radio going over cliff
face limits next time stop for dinner

merely to get to this moment dream-
dogged reading Galgut Genet as if
some other stream is flowing in me
I am flowing through some other
reality to Mozart Schumann Bach

warm rain patter's a pallid shroud
arising with the light as yet unseen
marked with the shape of a secret
self enacting an outward life as if I
could actually be everything I am

Mannequin Smiles

silent music would be better than
this fluty show-off twittering we
all know smart-alecks get ahead

oh I don't mind exactly really
what's it to me I wouldn't listen
but it's too much trouble not to

ears don't close like eyes input
endlessly arriving like party
crashers talking far too much

waltz time makes it even worse
aren't we having fun dressed to
swirl with mannequin smiles

First Form

if idea precedes existence
then which comes first form
or content or can content be
the form the quiet argument
goes on anchoring interest

Whole Grains

clumsiness is a symbol
I won't tell you what of
everything is a symbol
also itself if anything is

granola is feeling good
munching whole grains
eating is a symbol to do
with others and oneself

rain is blowing around
turning on the lights do
animals mind weather
is this not a symbol too

Re- Words

never mind me harmless not enough
I should have been let me see more
collegial collaborative cooperating
joinery unpersuaded fearful father
if something had happened worse

war didn't come here I was lucky
to be opportunity to self-destruct
repair redeem more re- words as I
learned means separate from birth
single non-stop associating engine

"All Alone"

after that he vanished from the story
eventually they all did is that what
Jean-Claude meant by saying we are
"all alone" not if I can help it I can
break the line or not if anyone will
cooperate and see what can happen

new characters keep appearing as
the others have left the stage they
are only coming back in dreams
life not a dream that's metaphor
may have misled my little boy I
could hardly blame for asking I
should have said no right away

Sheer Pleasure

Reading, writing, having, making books, books collecting dust. Adam collecting evidence of how many more like me, decades of publications only seen by a handful of friends. What is the use of this art edifice we are erecting? Sheer pleasure of erection.

Good Coffee

no one is asking but I will answer
anyway wrong number no dentist

given self only accept no caveat
covers melody in pencil memory

grief for dead language supposes
place for good coffee every time

Ever Thus

I love you even if you are an old farmer
need long lines to describe dear wrinkles
faring beyond what I ever had imagined
happening to me it didn't have to be good

dare mention luck with earthquakes off
coast the dam upstream ready to crumble
imagine the surge coming to your house
anything can happen and probably will

realism will do you in think short term
yourself long term generations coming
when things keep going somehow sadly
compromised believing it was ever thus

Still Rising

I feared for our wings
irreplaceable treasure
as winter comes on a
pie won't save weight
nothing is fresh more
plausible leaders can
explain all mistakes
still rising wind lifts
the level of all ocean
deity takes apologies
what shall we do now

Soft Cheese

done or undone I imagine
a small knife slicing through
separate layers of pavement
eat soft cheese for a change

swell time we had pretending
to be poets historic farmhouse
framed before anything here
time space surreally erased

I preached as Waldo Emerson
willing congregants took it in
model truth-seeker flattered
enthusiastically egged them on

today I am a workman think
about electrical circuits make
last corrections on a book
resume my customary face

Rest Easy

just begin and sooner end
then go to bed and rest easy

preach to the choir they
love it give it to them freely

others admire only style
pay little heed to what I say

as Emerson and as myself
I can know only as I think

think freely share pictures
help others hurt by storms

Leftover Soup

not a word about Tuesday
though we talked about the 1940s
fascism collaborators revenge
the play was by Ugo Betti
Italian number two and new
to most of us all the same
we eat well and talk too much
enough said sooner than not
or friends you can count on
leftover soup for ourselves

Only Me

time shift hunger slaked hunger viz.
for art performance radical aesthetic
breakthroughs exhausted the need
I know it's not them only me good
will strong still don't really want to
go through what it takes to get there

I'm sorry to miss everything I miss
by not driving to the city in the rain
flying back and forth to New York
less fun than staying home writing
reading playing music being friends
enough to do without chasing thrills

Still Here

what opens unafraid
crosses many states
arrives before time
impervious to rain

buttermilk burps
Mama Leone soup
an orange chocolate
beats airline meals

home is still here
last week's brown
suddenly green again
before light fails

No End

things get dirty what to do
if you care get busy clean
mop dry wet wipe scrub
what you can only you

no end to cleaning up if
you like a clean house I
do what it takes is time
patient music good will

Jump Up

safety in snugness enables cocoa
bubbles of pleasure in red blood
squirms aches hisses his brilliant
pianism too speedy for Haydn's
thought a raging river of desire

it's late enough but not too late
the power is on I can do things
if I want to like any day in life
concerned for friends in the dark
nothing to do but swallow a pill

I can't imagine going to sleep
like that my own sleeps febrile
with dreams a minute enough
jumps out and grabs me awake
I wish you were here jump up

Home Safe

wet highway black flashes streaky fading void
must frighten sane pleasure-seekers always go
home safe remains possible to alter plans you
must brighten sane admiration for surviving it

so watch news listen heart knows what will be
will be revealed when it happens to one of us
loved for being ourselves no alternative offers
refuge from rain and wind warmth when cold

Doable Choices

air is a fluid has properties
you can rely on as long as
it lasts much of the system
works well for much of the
populace fly over see your
scattered family and friends

this is the only possible way
to live the way things are our
doable choices historical set
it can't go on it must go on
we are entirely invested no
other place to be ourselves

Lie Still

snap awake the subject is
suddenly disclosed a joke
pretending certain records
mysteriously disappeared
conspired with another to
make it serious who's mad
find them on a closet shelf
brings me up on elbows I
can't lie still read write a
mantra helps not enough
I'm up the heat clicks on
how would I bear it if I
couldn't get up read write

Enhanced Perception

all said in the music
and in the car afterwards
enhanced perception
following the score together

I turned pages we
could see what was happening
imagination in action
and how much longer it would last

Precious Thoughts

if not this something else was my motto
long ago everything became its opposite
as the Beatles met cannabis vulnerable
minds welcome an inclusive alternative

so we said whatever came to our mind
preshrunk expanded to consummation
devotedly rehearsing every fond move
shifting into overdrive wiping it clean

syncopation taken for granted means
even less than how to dance instead
breathe slowly to the bottom feeling
around in muck for precious thoughts

Perfect World

flotation enough to almost breathe
an ocean close to boiling slime on
my feet explains walking standing
the sun there whether or not cloud

all this maneuvers in aching peace
without slums people have to live
somewhere else the perfect world
waits in undisclosed mental poise

Not Yet

what music denies which words
implies imaginary feelings whose
special sophistication saves money
when is it insufficient to the now
know better where to turn back

too late to begin with running
to catch up to stay ahead of the
wolves are nipping at your heels
lying in wait wait for a stumble
but you don't someday not yet

Equally Real

automatic potatoes replace morning light
dark furnaces compete with music I don't
want to hear about what I can't understand
how not why when not whether or even not

having said which cannot excuse brevity
as incompleteness is not a final solution
so the thought requires expression breast
butt pudenda equally real subject to view

switchable modes distract or are the old
reality biscuits buttered on both insides

Too Literal

do not mention what matters what you do all day
only what occurs in parallel or series on another
level playing unscripted characters in an alphabet
known consciously to few readers of the lost arc

scarcely refer to nature going on soaking my coat
muddying soles nuts lying scattered on the ground
I pick them up with my special tool but don't say
that too literal abstracting a pleasure worth more

Come Home

here I was going to say you go
I hope you are not depressed
that it is raining will go on
indefinitely darker every day

well I will be if the fire won't
light my warm heart no match
for winter bluster turn around
and something else is all over

still be here when light returns
thought all new for each of us
wait no more the hour has now
come home in time for bed

Parts Apart

if all of me existed I would promise anything
rain on the dry land love light after long dark
regretting I only come to myself in parts apart
know little of the inner possibilities of thought
glimpse discoveries epiphanies I cannot name
or bank set down in story between the words

attend me then this is the best I have to give
sans patience confidence in listeners' interest
that it matters what is said what recognizable
shared by every body mind as history allows
Emersonian ideas ring clearly time also one
spirit wholly present summed in each alive

Better Accept

the point being that the other
exists and must be dealt with
not who she is exactly but
she is there and so are you

being accumulates as time
tightens its relentless grip
relation proves durable even
at a distance or in remission

better accept proximity lest
you find yourself alone on
the floor unable to rise or
merely miss the best of it

Random Snaps

I the thread connecting these images
and times it slips the slide show ends
is this the me this time the one or only

variously forgotten persons reappear
random snaps who is excluded what
else happened somehow led to this

Short Legs

dead metaphor catches my breath
deciding whether to follow thought
or have it for breakfast tomorrow

run down to the berry patch while
there's still time before rain starts
falling and doesn't stop for anyone

not enough eggs for all of us now
telling remarks adjust the family
short legs move faster to keep up

High Purposes

you must seize your own reins
merge observer and observed
sure your daimon really yours
serve high purposes and aims

how not then to be fanatical
insisting on what you believe
right in the face of doubters
clinging to the old doctrine

nature can no longer teach
we have interfered too much
senses yield only mind still
free to live its own visions

therefore face the challenge
no one else can live for you
define what you know best
yourself summit of your age

Worth Repeating

what I knew I know even if I don't remember
every little word some of them quite obscure

if music is worth repeating why not reading
there is too much more that wants attention

how to unthink habitual assumptions how to
imagine something never conceived before

Something New

if I can't do it now I'll do it later
again again the cycle comes around
reading writing music outdoor
chores finishing up with summer

we need people to do things with
friends if possible at this juncture
in addition to each other different
interests not always overlapping

you learn confidence in your own
limitations work around the gaps
familiar with the repetitions hip
to opportunity for something new

Poor Fish

are you doing what you are doing
(reading these words) because it is
what you do (when how often) or
for some other reason (what is it)

poetry can tell you what the poet
thinks or wants you to know who
he or she is how sees the world
persuade you of unfamiliar truths

you will be better when the drug
wears off what was learned gone
fishing you think poor fish what
matters is to stay alive uneaten

Actual Thoughts

whatever you are reading refers to
whatever project you have in hand
everything in reference to Emerson
thinking great thoughts Gary said
I am a modern Emerson I didn't
know what he was talking about
absorbed Emerson didn't read him
he was my ideal but I didn't know
what matters is the actual thoughts
and the style of expression says you
can't run away from reason it is you

Shining Comfort

morning sun on my yoga
bedroom shining comfort
tai chi lit by western sun
studio windows sparkling
couldn't help seeing how
well things worked out
happy in love she said
you're a romantic I am

worried about the world
I said italicizing the world
this is fifty sixty years ago
meaning not about myself
I was young and confused
now everything is worse
but we're all right on my
seventy-seventh birthday

Too Late

I didn't write what I didn't mean
be glad of that though dubious
and it's no excuse for ignorance

I was protected 1,500 miles
from either coast mountains
farmland rivers conspiracies

if it didn't happen here it didn't
happen I never knew till later
and then it was much too late

Something Else

one small step
could be anything
A to B or the moon

one other word
changes everything
mood mind location

as though this
or that were the same
as something else entirely

Without Music

tai chi is a dance
flowing with the breath
no need for Chinese phlegm
Maria's dipping swoops
movements in order
steady the body-mind

life is a dance
with or without music

Long Now

a being darkly always knows the sun will rise
winter come again in personless wrath summer
smile modeling ease and pleasure free for all

posterity will treasure what we were and made
even if no one notices now our effort rewarded
but the book of history is now coming to an end

a long now all we ever had to reckon by or up
we never were going to live forever one by one
pass into oblivion eternal return a dear illusion

meanwhile nothing more beautiful than music
Schumann imaging the very ebb and surge the
rush of blood lush imaginings of human mind

Begin Again

had I but known how
could it be any better
what happened had to
hearts broken shows
given children born

you learn something
but not the first time
make same mistakes
finally give it up for
dead sure now know

start with water count
seasons blessings no
wonder I get to be me
then forget forgotten
begin again at end

Special Bottles

I would like to drink more
but unfortunately I don't like the way it makes me feel
after the first rush that makes me want more
which is too much and makes me want to lie down

my parents were both more or less alcoholics
he had drunk in his flaming youth but given it up
before a cocktail party he liked to drink a cup of coffee
then confined himself to sips of Dubonnet

he might open a split of Champagne on a special occasion
or a half-bottle of red with dinner
kept a few special bottles no one was allowed to touch
the festivities were pretty restrained

she preferred the hard stuff
consoled herself with gin and vodka more and more as time went on
eventually almost entirely lost to smoking and drinking by herself
until she went gaga and forgot all about it

so perhaps it is fortunate I don't like the way it makes me feel

Fast Track

easier coming than going
just as far out of my mind
tripping on my own feet

brave dancers fill stage
manners trimmed in hair
although one was bald

fast track home via I-5
Pudding River prairies
satisfied that it's over

Three Caws

the bird is there I am trying to sleep
three caws pause three caws pause
what shall I do I am awake I open
the door the bird goes away I close
the window the bird quieter I sleep

Ask More

easy for me if you don't ask more
I don't want to know of course do
who can not admire the survivors

this awareness always with us is
what I meant when I said tell me
protected birth more than chance

it doesn't help them when I suffer
may do good to be happy as I am
telling you I know glad to miss it

Fluid Time

no blank silence is a word
nothing is empty if only air
biting fish await your hook
swimmers in fluid time we
can simply be here together

Clear Around

curiously each wants to be himself
embodying his history family time
original only when he wants to be

gladly receives approval of efforts
giving all he has wishing for more
be more completely real and true

only who he is trying to succeed
we all need help and deserve it is
there enough to go clear around

Little Better

am I still who I was
or is he gone for good
as if nothing was said
no one was listening

regrettable ignorance
and little better now
when conversation is
someone else talking

let me acknowledge
I must have learned
some shard of truth
penetrated even me

This Kiss

whether each word means as much as you think
each note in the right place essential each action
indelible whether this opinion finally convinces
this kiss expresses all the love I genuinely feel

these are the questions that make you wonder
am I the one are you can we make a difference
do the fastest talkers necessarily win the prize
have we given up on progress will we survive

Brute Ambition

how Beethoven makes his way home
as fresh today as when he was living
Vienna still there because of music

how can I care about these issues
redefined every day the same stiff
subjects gnawing at their own feet

nature art love the only true reward
hard work sense of accomplishment
closeness to your near and dear ones

time the lethal term in the argument
who will win what 47% talk about
dumb stubborn blind brute ambition

Just You

everything matters more than it seems to
be just me just you effacing for survival
even if not immediately threatened

so we say less than we would mean if we
found a way to what we really think of it
too awful to be faced and why do it

too busy to think instead seemingly full
of years we barely remember who cares
to tell what happened before the end

Awful Friends

no bacteria in the pears we
do our best we pity the poor
Lambs their awful friends
ours less trouble or present
poets of less pressing need

painting hurts my piano arm
fingers protesting the brush
my eyes the white too white
the sunlight overrewarding
as we fall toward fall rain

most chores get done not
fine weeding if our farm is
"scruffy" too no matter we
work it ourselves do other
things too what do you think

Serious Question

if you do it it's what you do
no one else doing it only you

then things happen I'm lucky
they happen to someone else

my hard choices really easy
what to wear eat see where

when is the serious question
not whether or someone else

Good Boy

everything I can think of slowly
meanwhile mop my studio floor
make a perfect dinner for three
and clean it up still a good boy

the women can talk for hours
despite oxygen limits sweating
horses need for tires bad news
everything equally interesting

Show Real

sit here eyes closed and tingle
buzzing night warm soft chair
reading Piscator world at war
the body all nerve and energy

not my way it's great anyway
we can be true vision theatre
as useful show real situation
epic transformations at work

not my chaos wash windows
pick berries play Schumann
Haydn brilliance enraptured
sensation trumps every idea

In Time

don't forget the stars still
disinterestedly pursuing
inconceivable meanings

they look slow because
we live so quickly race
to do everything in time

what moves or doesn't
is the great distinction
whether alive or not

No Regret

not a day without a word a sigh
a memory not as sweet as this

no regret but time in its passing
giving and taking away youth

no one knows better than you
what most matters in your heart

no authority but feeling needed
loved the way you really are

Seriously Funny

considering what might be said
the various words referential
reifying trivia is less troubling

for instance panic with no out
or treating people like animals
animals like insensible food

the poets read seriously funny
dozens attend their exquisite
whimsy coolest way to see it

More Satisfying

complications make it more satisfying
when you finally get to that big F major
nothing like Brahms for complications

As Usual

I can't vote for drone strikes
I don't want to think about it
I'll cast my vote against war
business as usual plutocracy
although I do fairly well for
a peace and justice candidate

they say they are different
but agree on the billions for
banks weaponry surveillance
war fairness for corporations
revolving doors central money
count my vote against all that

I won't vote for war on drugs
corporate media spinning glib
liberal articulateness covering
known cooperation with power
light shines on beauty as well
as truth chooses what will be

Hollow Cheer

New York is over funny how
everything else follows a long
reversing curve New York first

no one cares about spelling
grammar literary form rich
famous only measure laughs

hollow cheer as if bright light
is a right as if no dark night
as if all this will last forever

Silk Shirt

work grabs me I like that
feeling deal with it don't
blow it off play solitaire

I missed the fourth set of
Federer-Berdych too bad
but my email was full up

then it's over and I didn't
do my ironing instead I'm
writing this in a silk shirt

Good Stuff

if I could sing I would express different feelings
feel different emotions pour out my open heart
if I could paint I would show what is beautiful
instead I stumble through Beethoven marveling

the politicians never mention art the only thing
I care about the only thing that matters in the end
as if a culture measured in celebrity and money
is enough good stuff prized by a powerless elite

it's there incredibly excellent but nobody cares
the news is always something more practical
killing starvation disasters disease who knows
what we might be missing timeless revelation

Learning Curves

change partners holiday over back
to normal parameters easy effort
drives continuous learning curves

training tunes reflexes improves
hoped-for accuracy of aim and
nuance proving curly formulae

for fun we sit and read together
quietly happy know it can't last
smile eyes open hearts enlarged

Sound World

explicit licking opened a sound world
touching my hair with its dirty wings
sensation combined with static thought

such were the children in camouflage
learning to be men defined by killing
animals for food for family following

night comes earlier the chickens roost
before I finish dinner we quietly read
and write while the whirlwind blows

Always More

if you say everything nothing will be left
and it's too sad but if you don't you lie or
are copping out so you say what you can
it will have to do but don't imagine it is
adequate to the situation even personally
there is always more until there is none
see what I mean every word I can utter
goes down gently without feeling worse

Just Traveler

I blew a kiss to the moon
hoping it would reach you
where you are sleeping just
traveler ready to come home

Know Why

if you didn't know then you don't
now nobody learns anything
goes anyway confirms all error

ask me another and I may or
may not tell you what I think
about that and everything else

I am one of those people who
goes on without revealing what
you might want to know why

because the only answer is any
actual fact of being who it was
confirms the existential vision

Enough Meaning

stop asking
as if something said or thought
might make a difference
as if doing something else entirely
might be a big mistake

stop saying
whatever comes to mind
as if words themselves were enough
meaning reveal itself
without any need to figure it out

stop seeing
as if how someone happens to look
could explain everything
how it was to be myself at that age
which part I don't understand

We Believed

I won't vote Republican
(for family and other good reasons)
but I can't vote for Obama again
he had a great opportunity
he blew it
caved in before he stood up
fights damned wars
tortures Bradley Manning
(solitary confinement is torture)
don't get me started
we believed him
won't reinvest
too bad

More Sense

no more to say than sorry
I should have known better
not gone along with wrong
analysis defended my own
integrity such as it was love
is no excuse for blind error

no regrets permitted though
I could have done more to
separate from propaganda
not watch tv not eat sugar
take drugs destroy reason
as if that made more sense

Long-Distance

the day goes by
I stagger across the lawn
pick blueberries strawberries raspberries
cook myself a complete dinner
read Chris Hedges
remember the chickens
talk long-distance
listen to music (Beethoven)
is it I lord

Heavy Cream

am I and does it matter what is
the scheme of things determine
to do it anyway heavy cream is
not required helps be myselves

by myself it means less work is
the sole reward accomplishing
something my famous list is
just an excuse for doing stuff

then I feel better can do more
answer emails make moves is
that the whole banana public
acknowledgement big surprise

A Good Story

if I could draw I could say what I think
instead Debussy has the words I fumble
glimpse the beauty of his thought Homer
Davenport's quick puncturing pen serves
Hearst his own interest farming horses a
good story Gus tells well practiced hard

Live Longer

I'm not here if you're not
going to tell I'd rather you
tell me first so I can think
what to say to myself as if
actually doing this what it
seems was not wholly true

therefore dissemble if you
must be kidding I wasn't
there in the same way they
thought no one would ever
know better admit it live
longer if it all hangs out

Another Rhythm

say goodbye before you go
useless to once you're gone
or not at all if always here

there I was saying here I am
you up early I never sleep
on airplanes wish I could

there they were getting off
there you to meet the flight
here me on another rhythm

call home come back soon
keep in touch though it's not
the same if either one away

Too Late

think if you can what about
class power Marx what to do

never mind the others they
may have trouble remember

it was simple then already
too late too late who knew

this time could hardly be
worse only bigger slower

nothing stays fixed we go
back undo relive to regret

Italian Rooms

these words extra are that who the sentence
moves on its own fluid like the viol in the old
kerk in all languages contemplate resolution

stanzas are Italian rooms doorways crowded
solitary passages before masterpieces art is
merchandise imbued with traveling energy

lost night eventually made up different beds
twining stair requires careful tread avoiding
falling colliding collapse thanks to grammar

Echoing Streets

gone is over as if never
dark in here as if night
but morning there where
we soon will be arrived

what was it seven days
if hadn't happened some
other hastening forward
return from being gone

instead ignore imposing
historic canals charmed
real cafés sidewalk lives
record in echoing streets

artificial gap opens then
closes I unscarred unseen
uncompanied partisan of
watching who does what

Good Ones

this is the poem I would have read
if I had written it for the good ones
Jan Huub Julia Jimmy Mark glad
I'm among them Jan joking Huub
serious Jimmy holding forth Mark
quietly correcting the record Julia
leading her own young life we all
appreciate a moment among men
among many met in Amsterdam

and Remy Charlip passed away
at Zen Center San Francisco he's
a story almost public figure now
self-mythologized unlike these
modest Dutch who know they're
good but're only doing it to live
and give pleasure in being heard
thinking unfolding manifest art
in being who we have become

First Time

I was in the other room. They told me about it afterwards. Judy had been up to Denver with her girlfriends, and they camped at a hot springs on the way back. After supper, they turned on and watched the sun go down with some cute guys in the tubs and paired up for the night, and she made the mistake of telling Bill about it when she got home. They always said they should tell each other everything, but that was the beginning of the end. She assured him it didn't mean anything: it was some kind of girl-jock ritual, nothing to do with him. But it was the first time either of them had done anything outside the marriage, apart from a little canoodling with former boy- and girlfriends. The door was open.

Night Spices

eyes burn from looking feet hip ache
from walking brain sizzles with many
people issues demanding sympathy at
least the next similar day night spices
come back at most inconvenient times

Mud Piles

a different history changes nothing
another new age redeem experience
you have to deal with it easy or not

this past is ours as well regarding
meteor trails mud piles squirming
upwards to a bogus make-believe

No Sleep

sit for ten hours
arrive with no sleep
total disruption
then be elsewhere

Only Now

getting bigger is always a mistake
Joe Cino knew better that it didn't
work out was not a matter of size
we stumble along doing our best
in a bad situation getting worse

ain't it the way the way I missed
Chekhov's specificness for years
only now can I read Pynchon with
pleasure make my own decisions
take my own trips before too late

Real Reason

no excuses lead to real reason
not to be there with those folk
singing under my breath tone
deaf to direction trying to act
natural hard on my own art

so I said no what a relief beg
me the silent subtext unread
unpunctuated unreal feathers
flutter down like snow effect
lately deferred to as summer

No Training

will I willingly will
what I can decide to
not do after all this
what will be said of
me if all is allowed

this is my moment
to reimagine after
years of no training
lazy and late to start
I will do it anyway

Real Rubber

skip it felt like real rubber from trees
could be a lot worse sometimes was
what we knew what we had thought

now everything is entirely different
underneath we are the same animals
getting along badly but still doing it

will overcomes difficulty stronger
effort rises above sensible promise
reward worth a world of suffering

Serious Water

what I would have said if I said what I meant
has to be considered optional optical adaptable
to changing conditions can't count on things
continuing indefinitely participial the language
never less adequate to describe the situation

what I would have meant if I meant anything
I said what I thought would work under these
restraints trade barriers unforgiven misdeeds
in another country I would be in serious water
wonders whether a real question can be asked

Each Fact

too full fortune time emerges
waits to see is this it is this it
is yes then modulates a zone
living temperate decisive ask
each fact only own one's own

that this exists too may mean
no compensation measure my
comfort hot not too nicely fed
friends love well so far music
answers all remaining doubt

An Omen

"thick fluids in flexible containers" do you mean
us or milk is it an omen is it available streaming

You Know

if you hadn't said so I wouldn't have known
you know it's very unwise to think you know
what anyone is thinking unless they tell you
specifically and they may change their mind

you presume you know me it must be obvious
I let it hang out here if anyone is interested
I guess I know you although I don't really I
only accept that you know what you're doing

Nobody Noticed

I never think of anything anymore
as if it already happened and
nobody noticed but me as if I
already thought what it might be
so it didn't have to actually

I'm Gone

time of no time between
moons readings haircuts
writing time divided up
fragments collide freely
compulsive let the mind
assemble if people don't

this is what I wanted to
tell you I will be going
away to a different here
routine suspended week
off no one will know it
don't tell them I'm gone

Plentiful Kicks

continual input required to attain
this placid stasis vibrating books
fall over each other competing to
be read one-clicked whim hungry
for something else added plentiful
kicks ideas snores squirms gripes
mispunctuate the marks I devour

Simple Answer

the simple answer is what you expected
if you thought about it at all sometimes
things go amazingly smoothly without
any of the setbacks you might anticipate
if you were foolish enough to think that
something terrible is likely to happen it
will but probably not right this minute

Careful Knowing

the internet is a transient phenomenon
take advantage of it while it still exists
like the many poets I can't bear to read
seriously pretending to be deliberate to
choose the words they use with careful
knowing art is anything you make of it

therefore go out of your way to swim
if you must be improved in the tasting

Perfectly Easy

summer speeds past these precious long slow
evenings doing things outside waxing moon
sails among harmless clouds as if everything
were perfectly easy fruit falling off the trees

we do our part tractoring branches of a pear
that grew too big and never bore sharing my
blueberries murdering wasps that wouldn't
let me sweep the porch fiercely swarming

rain in Boulder even as I talked to my dear
friend suffering depression further slowed
by ECT I knew on some level glad I called
hearing voices means we're still ourselves

Barely Noticed

even if nothing is hidden everything told
nothing is known even to yourself this
minute so much happening you need to
block it with a story carefully made up
to fill the space with nothing left over

actual life is merely background to the
background where you actually do all
your living composed of decomposing
memories of people and events you may
not have understood correctly at the time

this builds up gradually barely noticed
as if what you are doing was the real
though you can't pretend it's interesting
enough to account for how much you
care about how it comes out in the end

Actual Self

dramatic revelations not enough
decisions adding up new views
replace old assumptions killing
fathers disappearing mothers if
what I read is right what does it
mean for me trying to do it too

strategic or instinctual pretend
automatic writing amounts to
the same things come through
I never know what can be said
my prayers part of going to bed
as actual self was taking form

How Many

all is lost at least eventually
uncounted don't even count
how many few remain kept
for another nonexistent day

spend wise now tomorrow
you may not be in position
make moves decide wrong
erasure denatures all intent

Favorable Conditions

each egg is egg-shaped each chicken
pleased with itself everything ripens
in its time under favorable conditions

words spontaneously rhyme without
meaning to or purpose so few they
look alike and confuse most readers

some may think we understand what
one or another intended to say but I
disbelieve the general perspicacity

still the sayers say on millions we
arrange and space 26 letters as if
all possibility can be considered

as if nothing really happens if it
isn't written down but that's silly
you know it if it happens to you

The Other

who said what when why
removes all further endeavor
as if meaning were logically
implied as if that's enough

nothing else matters but
our lives go on some don't
some crash and burn some
didn't make it to the gate

who is the other member
who signed my name who
ate well at my expense
who cannot be forgiven

Different Fruit

if the plum jam jells
if the jars seal
if the book sells
if the story comes out
all normal precautions
all you can do
different trees bear
different fruit
is it interesting
is it true

Go Sleep

plus minus I'm still here
again as if never gone

my chair my Air feet up
on my mother's afghan

take off those shoes go
sleep like everyone else

After Talking

after silence speech
after solitude others
after talking nothing
after thought action

My Case

is it O.K.
to be doing what I am doing
I never know

I had to lie
down before I fell
over

what is the something
else that would be better
in what way

what judge
will rule on my case who
is innocent

Like Glue

change no change still a self
with others don't change too

circumstances clothes family
residue of memories like glue

taste opinion withheld view
across almost half a century

you are more than I knew I
knew wrong never get right

still the melody lingers on

Actual Work

doing helps make time matter
oh I don't mean all the things
you do as a matter of course
but actual work tasks which
I do do but never as fast as I
need to if I'm ever to catch up

Sweet Breeze

what can be said could should be
broken windows dematerialized
sweet breeze kisses bad business
mixed up sight-reading Debussy

ultimately reassuring this is our
life we have to make beautiful
so much is in spite of myself
all that has already gone down

so I did then something else
and now feel better about it
some things end others go on
being even dearer than they are

What Is

do I want more is enough
enough can't I be happy I
am

so don't complain criticize
disdain trouble embrace
what is

Other Bumps

fleas bite the other bumps
red on smooth white skin I
must not taste as yummy no
credit smug me however much
I am ready to be virtuous and
smarter in what I do and eat

Miracles

the norm is fine the stink
an aberration correct it

impossible to ignore life
works miracles happen

we seemed to converge
then what we will to be

each reaching apogee
vow to return the favor

After Alaska

doable transport exchange for cash
then be somewhere else for a while
change everything Bonnie was rosy
after Alaska I'll be the same but not

take a trip that excites when asked
say yes regret nothing respect the
precepts protect direct spontaneity
be more myself and no one better

Certain Breezes

nothing good about the sewage
smell we'll have to live with it
all summer certain breezes or
miasmas hotly humid weather
brings it on workers agitate the
ponds it pours in the back door
of my studio even in the house
so strong it feels like chemical
other moments only the sweet
farm flower scents of growing
then there it is again disgusting

Future Profits

O.K. baby needs careful handling
flies whiz annoyingly around my
moment passing fast but happily

take it while you can forget about
another tomorrow or count past
recurrences predict future profits

dog claws tapping door squeak
voices normal presences soon to
be gone again missing accepted

we are the world when we have
to be sure design idyllic setting
for rare eruptions of family fun

Leaning Forward

I barely managed to say
what I might have meant
if you had told me more
how complicated it is
to integrate the day's
achieved pattern leaning
forward toward your goal

now I could tell you
what you already know
how different it will be
how utterly worth it
frights to comfort steady
breathing sleeps help
achieve the needed calm

Day Pass

guy smell of motor oil soaked dark
shed chainsaw crowded shelves high
summer sun bakes familial croquet
paying attention to what comes up

waiting for day pass vacation from
what I don't know our lives on hold
this is part of them we all must be
delivered of recognized strangeness

On Air

where am I now
not here anymore
not yet there

where is Bach
in the car on air
beyond morality

why do you ask
are you not satisfied
is this not enough

Serious Consequences

programmed by the season has me
weed the dwarf pines in the hot
sun do my tai chi out under the
walnut pick blueberries after dinner
by place and customs by the limits
of my time and culture constraints
of expectation by my own habits
good and bad that constitute my
self inherited mostly chimpanzee
made in defense or compensation
uniqueness sum of improvisations
tune out tune in what did I miss

where then is there room to choose
as you must do in each moment
responsible to and for a dubious
self defined by differentness all
the same doing the same things
programmed and all individual
whim serious consequences for
future generations as we are the
future of an earlier past equally
obscure and don't blame them for
what followed their many mistakes
but praise their art and productivity

Priceless Treasures

I should have written something special
in your book but I was having a conversation
with you at the same time and couldn't think
so I just wrote with love and our names
which doesn't begin to say what matters
acknowledge gifts of friendship and music
priceless treasures of our ordinary lives

Cosmic Blink

whatever I was thinking just
let it go something else will
come in tell me your name
again how do you stand it

that other wretched voice
falls feet first a red Morgan
stops fashionistas fall out
accusing him of sleeping

the next day another time
another Fourth of July ten
years another cosmic blink
while this moment marked

Choose Life

if not then now the order can
subject to change the subject
oneself simple node in lattice
work one aspect of our being

it's not that hard be different
yesterdays strong predictors
will prevail sans will choose
life choose commoner sense

choose meaning suit the day
cloudy golden wheat ripens
Mozart ageless sets example
to whom be more than true

Harm's Way

let go it makes no change the day
composes itself of the usual moves
the hours follow in the same order
as if today were yesterday already
tomorrow weekly seasonal daily

thus bears the theme now develop
something might happen anything
at any moment but usually doesn't
consider the individual more than
accidentally be out of harm's way

Right Understanding

slow down even if you don't want to
time does not stop there is still plenty
fill it with some of everything in proportion
as you value body spirit mind my own
inflamed with desire for right understanding

Telling Incident

so the spin thins emotion rising
smoke of a windless afternoon
you can't just decide to feel you
do whether you want to or not

gluten-free sentiment purged of
natural sweetener decocted in a
plot of some kind a golden ewer
overflowing with telling incident

I confide in my computer more
than a person each in their own
program until the form is filled
we both emerge into the light

In Theory

to me a text still an object I must be
old-fashioned ha ha didn't I always
embrace the new still do in theory
everything think I get it I really do

it's a question of what you like still
a critic I discriminate look closely
search out text I can handle respect
enjoy so much the better if it's funny

I like what it can be and do anything
words resonate individually combine
in temporal spatial structures often
only in your head and isn't that fine

Not Cool

this practical higher level redefines
what you proposed to eradicate with
political feasibility study war no more

leap of wrong faith your own success
locks in bad policy every world arena
rapt in disbelief it could go so wrong

man's fate should be better than this
mad scramble to get more whatever
everybody does is probably not cool

Other Languages

if the air leaks out we sleep on rocks
if we sleep on the continental divide
birds curse in other languages known
criminals puncture positivist thought

the much I might rather not say gnaws
at favorite connections all depend on
each discovering the same truth they
don't a single night may last forever

Do Less

blueberry pie and mowing displace words
the story continues regular tai chi shaman
drumming charging chickens vultures Tom
talking picked up during gushing life story

stop do less more calmly let spin exhaust
itself and us while also fun we'd rather do
our normal routine reasserts its separated
space communications joining at bedtime

Wash Dishes

something else to do the same thing
waiting at the appointed time I'll do
again carefully mindful as I can be

a kind of twitch a following through
on what I thought I wanted decided
would be my life thus made it thus

as if I had much choice apart from
circumstance it's all like this what
ever else is happening wash dishes

New Worlds

summer excuses every regret as if
early imagining led to new worlds
wise virgins push back the margin
require explanations of every fact

tell them I have gone into the city
looking for fellows marveling in
books print words the late fashion
arbitrary choices promise nothing

smoothly folded liquid curves go
home to unapologetic innocence

This Glow

the sun our friend makes everything happen
this glow this solstice fire arising from within
the creek rippling over rock no that's gravity
green leaves hops potatoes every vegetable

imagine something else if you can write it
fiction arriving from inside the real situation
unspoken derivatives dance alongside us all
told if other unknown plants will volunteer

Smart Moves

no go stay be here with
among others only you

nothings said ever true
that thinking makes so

choicest compromise
delivers happy people

given a risky situation
make few smart moves

Still Possible

if while waiting you do something else
you are no longer waiting you are doing
whatever it is wonder what's this music
weed blueberries housework eat wash
dishes time flies things are getting done

meanwhile you are waiting whatever
else may happen because there's time
you know it's late or too soon present
doing haunted by future unimaginable
probabilities planning their dirty work

ah the futility Beckett Wilde knew all
said more Bach Mozart figured it out
beauty enables pleasurable emotions
still possible to be good make happy
move slowly play all the right notes

Painted Field

it don't matter so much who says
what as that the words be heard

who is listening without really
thinking about something else

what is said is always more
than words can actually say

words are pictorial elements
like cows in a painted field or
the brushstrokes they really are

Till Ten

which Molière such important questions
whether tai chi barefoot indoors or on the
grass is easier win win why not sleep till
ten again I used to do it all the time now
never revolution not my own idea of fun
but something must be done damn soon

Best One

how can I say anyone is dull
when I don't say what I think
myself open-minded to a fault
cop out hiding in uncertainty

the strong-minded sound shrill
the leading candidates shallow
our inside insight comes from
minor channels best one none

You Know

don't ask me if you should anything
I've learned not to have an opinion
or if I do not think it serious causation
pretty much a bust these days no clue
what might lead to something worth it

except generally seize opportunity to
stretch or relax and be comfortable
where you are there see no advice
think about it make up your mind
you know it is your best conviction

Indian File

who I was not am became
the real myself unimagined
possibilities circumstantial
encounters new players who
knew what to do and did it

clean hands cultivated voice
Kansas City expectations if
not what you imagined like
it on some level all broken
reassembled to a new plan

this is what had to happen
if not this way then another
Indian file and overlapping
information shared as far as
anyone else took an interest

Another Nose

murmuring polspeak thundering Brahms
a house divided my limitations embrace
Bach Mozart Schubert Beethoven plus
aforementioned others pleasant enough

reading Beckett thinking about my own
funny characters being fools or heroes
you decide I know them well enough
not to forgive their faults and virtues

thin atmosphere terrible differences
within a narrow range how to tell one
from another nose ears eyes attitude
each condemned inists on an identity

Still Time

long days longer slower days of June
leave room for Beckett Patti myself
still time to write a morning nap adds
the afternoon then more after dinner

strawberry season too with cream
as a reward for weed-whacking hill
pounding in posts for chicken fence
and all our other immodest goods

Every Day

consider the regularity of chickens
me there every day as evening falls
with corn and seeds collecting eggs

other rituals organize weekly round
because we like it order is pleasing
thank you all and may I do it again

False Summer

home enough never to go gasping
although rhythm can never suffice
without tune words harmony even
persons to take and make the heat

throbbing engine gushing smoke
tracks across lawn loads of sand
fences its reward load of manure
the garden gaily feeds the family

how hard she works to keep it all
going gravel footing hay coming
turns preparation cost recovery is
how she spends this false summer

No Ideal

timing everything
who can choose
sync or sink

for all the virtues
credit your god
to be fair

faults limitations
accept respect
no ideal

Inside Out

"Love a yuzu-squirt, but one can take only so much." (Nico Muhly)

as musician as playwright how will I be known
if at all
and not for long
the greatest only centuries
and wrong

as elderly gentleman or lover
human kind
for what I've done or what I've been
doing for myself and others
trying to save everything through art

who knew though if I didn't say
I wrote
who reads all the way to the end
who cares enough
about the finer points

what else matters nothing to me
oh the clouds the flowers the changing light
and music from the inside out
and how my body feels
tingling

Future Virtues

forget what now what then was thought
what forged our language our lost ideas
sad history of forgetting all best known

threes rule two complete static balance
other falls through whoosh my renewal
fantastic pink peonies don't just happen

ideals of a thousand petals completing
all tasks removes future virtues dream
not less lost than insight yet unseized

Busy People

if it helps do it
but not too much
nothing might be
better many busy
people better still
do the obvious if
that doesn't work
do something else
if your time is up
someone else will
or not be bothered
I could go on why
limit yourself you
could be different

Heavy Objects

gravity becomes unbearable when you've lived
in space how can you sleep mashed down and
walk or carry heavy objects shovel sand or dirt

weightlessness is too extreme things float off
clutter the air no in-between or emptiness let's
wish some generous fraction everything easier

gravity is unbearable why must we be serious
it makes no difference except in how you feel
about yourself and the weight of merely being

Something New

the problem wholly absorbing however
arbitrary time ego stops ensues bliss as
tai chi commences then takes its time

otherwise one doing succeeds another
thinking yesterday's intention too soon
tomorrow coming makes more possible

managing mentality might be enough
anyone can external circumstances go
on change you always something new

Tell All

books ahead collected poems go on
nobody will read them I don't care
somebody will it's what they're for
to be there ready for eyes or minds
heart exposed if you care to see it

finish Jimmy finish unmentioned
writing publish poems get back to
the big memoir Maurie asked for
one request enough to reawaken
lost momentum live need tell all

Good Idea

that's how anything gets done
a little at a time or all at once
in a flash then work it out over
weeks months years hoping it
was a good idea to begin with

Never Stop

for Daniel Potter

be there if you have to for the last
impression or literary remark not
always funny not always anything

afterwards you won't have to be
inadequately flattered these laughs
cost nothing that hasn't been paid

bounce forward another time was
promised meet the need you always
did would stood for higher values

everything will be undone is why
we need philosophers and heroes
who know why they can never stop

Variations

too many flowers the hummingbird
avidly ravenously hovering sipping
piercing deep into the tiny blossom
craving sweetness drunk on spring

I too in my sapient way devolve to
something simpler lurching dreamy
across the lawn from one thing to
something else unfolding in the day

this the summation like a cadence
at the end of a movement enough
for now then something different
a scherzo a minuet and variations

Being Brave

up or down in the world alive
and eventually not so different
trajectories tricky to calculate

don't ask me I barely know is
what I'm about making moves
keep on writing being brave

what is the larger meaning if
none you have to wonder who
moves defines the characters

Too Busy

translate me to you Mozart to music
played more than heard if no one is
listening ourselves too busy to hear

speak of speech write about words
sing "You Are My Sunshine" as if
no time passed nothing happened

propose what you desire you will
find a way home or another place
to become who you wanted to be

Try More

that's not all there is you're thinking
something but not hard enough even
if you don't know what it is try more
say it name it put it into words never
enough but better than keeping silent

Another World

thunder shovel moves blueberries twice
more promise me what you mean to do

gasping pleasure little coos at the climax
tells the story over and over over again

whisper drops on skylight fading early
clouds another world impinging on ours

Fresh Impressions

still naive not knowing even now
that history didn't start when I did
born in media res or later when I
half woke up that more was going
on than anyone admitted not here
or even here where I thought I was

said more than possibly supported
as if I knew what happened before
made me made the whole situation
my fresh impressions superficial
based in only this little protected
lucky life that happens to be me

well that is who I am I have to
work with it admiring others who
smarter braver more realistic made
happen everything I like to believe
we manifest the age the particular
angle only each can truly discover

Better Days

where is the doctor of rejuvenation I need
fresh clarity balance stamina pep the will
to weed walk keep working hours oh I'm
fine play piano better than ever but sore
fingers threaten future of that listening is
over maybe I've heard it all enough times
a slow decline in cards better days ahead

New Promises

a void in the center outlines vague
dimensionless gray no dark no light
can be erased by friendly initiative
a kiss a date new promises implied
hot chocolate to warm from within
what has no substance but the body

Even Better

all over as if immediate speed
unpacks resumes as if unbroken
love bonds reasserted smoothly
one place easy equal to another

different yet flowing together
looking for history in an alley
the ancient bricks a possibility
the perfect salad and goodbye

a while no illusion it's really
what's happening again to be
continued as if repeatable for
any ever welcome even better

Soon Enough

sleeping uneasy strange beds too flat hard
shoulders jam ache awake all hours crawl
animal life goes on dark rustling miaowing
toward home day saves just soon enough

everything done in time flowers decorate
the hall arranged teams women men lend
art music thoughtful tender loosens party
spirit each impulse suitable accommodation

I could criticize myself but no one else a
flawless cast manifesting individualities
the annular eclipse a ring to celebrate our
twenty years displaying human possibility

Palpable Love

everything that was supposed to happen did
all present playing their parts to perfection
the sky gods smiled palpable love in the air
trembling with simplicity behind all chatter
gathered to affirm Julian and Liane married

A Serious House

What was the man's name? Tannenbaum? Parsifal? No, Thannhauser. My mother took me to visit him in a serious house on the Upper East Side. On the walls were paintings by Picasso, Cezanne, Renoir, Van Gogh, many paintings by many great artists. How did she know him?

One Mode

turning natural time into stories
the mind can't stop changeable
parts click together like Legos
reiterate nothing already known

processing one mode or locus
the rest fade to inactive hidden
grope comes up empty pockets
of panic decorate this interior

a pill or natural stones deflect
invariable wiggling indifferent
rhythms just perceptible finally
fade into other people entirely

Finale

The first thing she wanted was to see my hands, which were still beautiful then, but she didn't encourage me to play her Steinway, which had just been tuned for a better pianist to play at a party she was having after I was gone. She put me in the maids' rooms, which had been luxely fixed up as a guest suite, two tiny rooms and a tinier bath off the kitchen, on the airshaft. She made me take her to a $100 dinner at a restaurant in the neighborhood, reliable but not especially good. She told me about her collection of vintage Bordeaux but didn't offer me a taste. Her kitchen had been remodeled with every convenience but nothing was cooked. She ordered in pizza, opened a bottle of something drinkable, and made me watch the finale of "Survivor."

Only Feelings

blue gloom relieved by tangible turd
facts don't matter only feelings

Anxiety

ANXIETY IS THE PRICE OF A TICKET ON THE JOURNEY OF LIFE—NO TICKET—NO JOURNEY; NO JOURNEY—NO LIFE. WE MAY RUN FROM ANXIETY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE BUT WE THEREBY RUN FROM OUR OWN LIFE. …… WE ARE DAILY FORCED TO  CHOOSE BETWEEN DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY. THE PATH OF ANXIETY IS NECESSARY BECAUSE THEREIN LIES THE HOPE OF THE PERSON TO MORE NEARLY BECOME AN INDIVIDUAL.
—George Birimisa (1924-2012)

Real Fog

other than words is anything written
packeted segments instead real fog
seems to be blowing in but actually
forms before you think of walking
on it but there is no edge it's there
not here not usually not pea soup

Black Queen

a black queen and the four of diamonds
hidden can stop the play as if they had
power what is power the power to stop

I speed to Portland half an hour of
Alfred an hour with Adam Kate Piero
Heliczer products emerge from dark

no one knows the worth leached out
by time neglect the changing world
working toward celebrity or death

get your coat and go there's nothing
for us here strange looks as if we
were capable of another miracle

Then Found

enough to do more than what I am
not necessary unrealistic anymore
accepted real fullness completed in
active endeavor without convincing
anyone necessarily selling anything

enough budgets meetings speeches
in silence will be my way forward
remembering when I lived on East
Broadway before my life manifest
led on to lost wandering then found

Common Good

I'll come over then if you'll have me
piece together what I want to believe
eat the last cookie knowing you had
your share not worry about it not with
one who knows her mind what's good
for everyone knowing for themselves

it's enough to do what I do for myself
I care more about this you that other
matters take care of themselves with
a little help friends of soil of beauty
of the common good arising naturally
from within the nature of our being

Mistaken Pride

mad flowers on the pears and cherries
but the dogwood put out leaves instead

nor did I indulge in dressing up missed
fun inhibited by vanity mistaken pride

or shame the cats are perfectly sited
perform the duties their parts require

the clouds clear off the full moon pops
over the hill for us just what we needed

Merely Pain

excision of something smallish and unthreatening from my thorax is that the word why can't they make injecting anaesthetic less painful it's merely pain but still I cringe not thorax lower down not abdomen exactly mid-ribs to the side what's gone is obviously over but not unless you forget which it's impossible not to you try not to anticipate and can't remember how bad you felt only a story not like now or nights to come they too will pass no comfort at the time or escape

Sonata Form

not so serious really not that

Beethoven but the laughing

allowed for few exceptions

I can't tell my father's jokes

second movement typically

slow thoughtful emotional

relatively minor as myself

I show considerable doubt

the brisk finale has a fugue

embedded imitation figures

unrepentant thus the sonata

displays its time-worn form

Doing That

what would I be doing if I were not programmed

to be doing this after that and the other carefully

patterned full but not too leaving space for what

comes up not too much empty time a few hours

working not too hard several projects going I can

always turn to something else when energy flags

if doing the same thing with different people in a

different place were different I would be doing that

Doing Harm

glimpsed anomalies never explained

admit strangeness coexists within all

reason centers in narrow boundaries

it is a tool to grasp with one of many

fit certain dimensions only redefine

what you want to know differently

then instead of adding years subtract

for example but you didn't change

enough to reverse stop doing harm

False Modesty

"Of all the constraints imposed on us that restrict our freedom—constraints of morality and decorum, constraints of class and finance—one of the earliest that is forced upon us is the constraint of a language that we are forced to learn so that others can talk to us and tell us things we do not wish to know." —Charles Rosen

half a moon a sparsely blossoming dogwood

beeps dings children who can't pay attention

percentages don't tell stories I can understand

brightness all we have to offer listening and

thinking about everything we hear look first

then leap the fall is all there you go enjoy it

easy to say if you have it easy can afford to

take it easy unearned income meeting need

miraculous destiny plays with generations

and that isn't all if I could think I would tell

I can and do false modesty a limiting habit

arrogance worse try be intelligent together

Deer Life

ready to get pregnant again the doe
decides that the fawn is old enough
to learn to take care of itself lightly
leaps the fence leaving the fawn on
the horses' side throwing itself at the
fence in terror the mare (Chinita)
furious with a savage scream kicks
the fawn breaking its back leg then
picks it up in her teeth and shakes it
goes on screaming raging as Carol
lassos the fawn and drags it away
ties it to the old walnut tree calls a
friend ends its misery with a bullet

Passing In

do no more for the moment
passes the moment no more

snare the door for a person
knocks the moment passing

be within the moment door
will be opened passing in

Tiny Chair

the shadow that is to come
still remembers yesterday's
crisply prepared for flight
hysterically dreamt again

sitting in the tiny chair I
tentatively raised my hand
to pull the bell you came
barely in time to save me

I know what the situation
calls for impossible action
in a livelier medium who
said anything was wrong

No Question

the room decides you do
what it asks no question
if a function repeats un-
altered by some context
that content an accident
substituting for another

the original hand clasps
its other as if drowning
were too bad to imagine
burning up or fading out
remain calm anticipated
action already occurred

Happy Animals

the happy animals are happy
others are prone to anxieties

the chickens are happy peck
roost lay eggs come to meet

Tom is happy rubbing legs
calling to us haunting doors

bright Phebe fears me jumps
Carol's back in the garden

paranoid Ginger slinks off
submits to forced petting

horses have complex minds
moods stubborn ailments

jumpy Guinever worries
where is everyone what now

Annie gladly does her thing
expects to be treated right

Chinita lame doesn't know
she's scheduled to be bred

the steer in the far pasture
just happy not to be inside

Say Yes

my vote would count more if I wanted
to object instead say yes to everything
they propose I'd let them spend wildly
but they don't every item strictly based
on the year before the year before that
creeping up within maximized means
someone thanked them with a heartfelt
gift makes Sunday hours possible new
trees a little comfort on a hard chair

Hard to Read

pain in the other room
makes it hard to read
I stagger as I walk to

the car ready for anything
needed to comfort as much
distress as yields to love

Style Itself

if I wanted to tell secrets they would
have to be more serious I know nothing
but how to read and write and play piano

Mozart ripples off my fingers words
pour in and out as if devoid of meaning
style itself the secret I cannot now reveal

Virtual Money

something heroic in the way the stock market keeps trying to climb
I root for it watching my virtual money shrink and partly swell again
puzzled that though the average goes higher than ever my part is less
it all works out in the end of course probably badly but possibly well

These Walls

what animal what truck how little we know
even of what little we see not that I can see
very clearly anymore where are they going
in such a hurry and why what initimacies
behind these walls eyes windows all we see
is what they do in public legal moves like
marriage children death police business is
that the real story hardly anything is known

Blunt Lingo

if you don't do or say no one will know
who you are or were and even if you do
they are more interested in themselves
until you get famous in national media
then you can't get them to let you alone

how blunt the lingo we have to employ
in such cases reality feeds itself on talk
originals heroic compulsive obsessively
following their own however odd ideas
undisappearing may change everything