Special Bottles

I would like to drink more
but unfortunately I don't like the way it makes me feel
after the first rush that makes me want more
which is too much and makes me want to lie down

my parents were both more or less alcoholics
he had drunk in his flaming youth but given it up
before a cocktail party he liked to drink a cup of coffee
then confined himself to sips of Dubonnet

he might open a split of Champagne on a special occasion
or a half-bottle of red with dinner
kept a few special bottles no one was allowed to touch
the festivities were pretty restrained

she preferred the hard stuff
consoled herself with gin and vodka more and more as time went on
eventually almost entirely lost to smoking and drinking by herself
until she went gaga and forgot all about it

so perhaps it is fortunate I don't like the way it makes me feel