Ready Words

blue sky rain afternoon burn bright breeze ready words It is too distressing when an actor drops out and rehearsal is interrupted and I have to find someone new from a dwindling pool. High school girls are preoccupied with a million things, mad at their parents, twisted by school, medicated, who knows what; or else too sane to invest in something as quixotic as a play. How can they possibly concentrate or even remember to show up? Thank god I have a few reliable people. Alfred has a flair for acting. He is easy and wonderful to work with, completely present, and will be good in the play. It really is the leading role. He is helping me with the tech part too, set, lights, and sound. It's all on us and seems like too much work but we are harmonious and relaxed and have fun, play and laugh and love being together. Having him here makes "Butter Boy" possible and joyful. Last night after rehearsal he went to a bar, got drunk, and called me up at 2 a.m. to come get him. I was happy to get out of bed and drive into town. He was full of feeling, laughing and crying, loving me, thanking me (I feel the same way). We sat around on the new sofa and he talked about his life, drunkenly inarticulate but truthful, and mine. He thinks I should be working with better actors. He leaned in close to me at one point looking intense and said 'JOHNNY DODD' in a strange long drawn out voice; I told him I get emails from him all the time. He doesn't know what to do with his life, wishes he did, feels conflicted. He said he is terrible with women and acted out 'oh you're so cute' and 'what do you want from me?'