My Themes

behind the clouds two moons
rain on the skylight balances
Clair de Lune my themes are
love and work what else to
want nothing more or less

can I beat the deadline will I
survive another year doing
probably not my last chance
never knowable philosophy
comforts homespun of words

Old Mistakes

what am I thinking about the space inside
starry vast breathe Afghanistan in breathe
it out so with every woe or problem to be
acknowledged and blown away like broken
records your work two different wisdoms
intertwined with trivial misconceptions re
should and must begin solving old mistakes

Fresh Flowers

changing habits keeps them fresh
flowers wonder at snow what am I
doing here is it appropriate to exist
when others don't or can't or won't
is it polite to invite people I hardly
know their friendliness surprises I
wonder if they will come hope do

Very Easy

email setup give me a break
at least the internet is up to speed

we are reading "Sentimental Education"
on my new Kindle very easy to read

what a ridiculous hero maybe I
should be more satirical about myself

I have been just as silly but I learn
slowly meditating again during yoga

Better Part

I chop it up throwing out some of the best stuff
maybe it's just for my family if there is such a thing anymore
scattered as we are willing to be apart like this
maybe I've said all I have to say about love and personalities
in action is responsibility for random reference
revision is the better part of writing I always heard from you
at Christmas at least and on my birthday if you
don't remember I remind you what the story is that matters

Blue Depth

can this go on as if puffy
clouds manufactured just
beyond blue depth barns
built by individuals last

not so they are still dead
their voices killing sleep
who knew I care so much
warming up the pajamas

All Weathers

breathing stone the buddha
sits through all weathers
the stone is heavy
the stone evaporates
only the breathing remains

Public Giving

that a child is born is enough
that anything happens beauty
at every level intricacies mesh
that I can secrete words here
in public giving that someone
cares enough to print books

music bodies brain structure
manipulation that any child is
able to hear that his possible
suffering is natural energies
rise before dawn to think and
write often that will be done

Intimate Impressions

invite plan cook they're here from Houston
news of opera from all over relish intimate
impressions talking a medium of display

haircut looks good hot change cashmere
to silk mix after we sat started eating talk
connect 'Loser' gmail highly recommend

was I over-eager it doesn't matter if I was
the occasion demanded it starting to feel
like something I can live with perfectly fine

Obama: stop pushing, start leading

My Way

black congealed slime lines drain
what is it moose munch seasonal
gloom threat confuses solid work
there is no substitute for Clorox

diet does don't slip up now but
I lost enough six percent less me
never thin again oh well realist is
my way senses when life is good

Ring Twice

"We seek the plasticity of words and their interrelations and musical connections rather than their denotations." —Louis Zukofsky (1933)

the same things said then rang
and ran away only after making
Vivaldi ring twice as much when
heard more than light returning

you knew what you meant until
general knowledge was missing
the point receding to even less
long night beside your beloved

not satisfied with two she lost
what she wanted while she did
never living in the capital only
wish the outcome to be better

Sunday School

avid conversationalist remains in martini
shakers says his son Saint a schoolmate
somewhere my mother went over a cliff

I saw her tumble end over end into the lake
my father and I were stunned so sudden is
that the way it ends without warning

you turn pages calmly the rain spatter
stops the Chinese lights betray the season
we learned about in Sunday school

Both Ways

the hunter never hunts only talks
to peasants describes landowners
looks at Russia silently observes

the cadence emerges on its own
thought as much as spoken well
considered accidental lucky

I want both meanings connected
both ways no poverty anymore
but riches beyond imagining

No Dark

how he fell to how to tell
without reliving it enough
soon follows like the dark

there is no dark a village
glows redly distant cities
infuse the night with light

never silence on the road
machines rush past wake
of sound drowns his ears

being on all the time too
much what did bushmen
dream in the time before

High Ground

not knowing won't save me
but I'm not threatened I live
on high ground and I'm old

everything is going wrong
but let's do something right
start the needed reversals

hope helps but how can we
if Obama won't lead stand up
to old ideas begin the change

Be Ready

I forgot what I was going to say
or did I say it and you
weren't listening is that it
something about every day different
surprises you don't even notice
regular habits only more so
getting up at 5:30
etc. still
unexpected things will happen
be ready

Infinite Variation

is this simple enough converging
colors green and green between
seasons musics whispering to be

that's what I saw when I tried to
hear the infinite variation above
the singing in my private mind

whether you can tell differences
or am I the only one less known
merry about a holiday calendar

Nasty Weather

few friends fade I can't talk
to no one poets and wives
not introduced as if I don't
exist have feelings or care

I'd voted with my wheels in
nasty weather thought that
counted still solitary chilled
browse second-hand books

where did we go wrong that
I'm not part of anything not
invited to Christmas parties
can't always enjoy it if I go

Two Brains

can slow match wait mind still
here spinning movement while
clicks imply something goes on

happening faithfully two brains
mysteriously redivide as three
or more if you can think of it

my own practice so ingrained I
forget it's there and I made it
up from books and experience

able to choose to go on or let
this be the final stanza please
myself share it with the world

Real Think

13 at 5:38 horse troughs frozen
Dennis crazy executing squirrels
eat into his studio thump on roof
aforementioned cat here after all

if you must know I was thinking
of you don't fret I won't tell much
my memory not images but facts
in words thin membrane still do

the trick is biting them like coin
close examination try substitute
check ring listen what they are
trying to say must be real think

Another Level

there where another sleeps I rest
in closeness precious acceptance

these lines try too hard to say be
everything in a few random words

if you don't answer my emails how
do I know you are there anywhere

inundation of silliness hits mailbox
images of clothes on glossy pages

I have everything I need too much
wear this look like that model life

it doesn't matter what we wearing
vibrations merge on another level

Sand Storms

no snow cold kills noble oaks
art lives on all seasons equal
here in Russia don't let desert
replace the world like our own
images of cities blasted sand
storms embattled tribes alone
rewrites minds die for stories

Used Words

minor inconveniences loom large
if you let them know how lucky
you are or not either way praise

learn not to push unless needed
step forward step back all time
unbearable unless you want it

accept that all words are used
all thoughts thought ideas said
look for a space between them

We Few

trapped cat taken home
after a warm night in the tack room
four-footed beings thrive around us
Tom talks fattened Phoebe
whitely goes her way Ginger
cringes from some ancient threat
whole deer families nibble through
day and night turning on the light
Annie Chinita Guinevere Mercedes
wearing blankets graze the pasture
spooked by the sudden wind
squirrels bury nuts climb trees
and walk the telephone wire
a skunk shares the cats' food
we few humans watch wonder
at our place in the web of life

Ignorant Bliss

the more you study history the worse it is
serfdom in Russia IBM counting Jews Mao
loss of innocent ignorant bliss inevitable
ever more needed redeemer not to come

then what then is the story can be told
to laugh and love prize beauty harmony
or relish contrariness be harmlessly bad
for fun or freedom and be good yes best

Precious Order

what is not said and if it were
would we be better able to see
what we need to know to go on

who is not there is not noticed
while who is fills all the open
spaces between silent thoughts

when will be soon enough to act
on all we comprehend too late to
make our wisdom voices heard

where if not here will any speak
of chaos devolution change if
we cherish our precious order

Other Senses

sunlight on frost more enchanting
than any Christmas lights stops me
going and coming on the gravel path
white light white frost over light blue
clarity of cold comforts other senses

the lights are shining and the garland
welcomes Christmas spirit as we edge
toward solstice jobs report hopeful but
more of the same even better solves
nothing only obfuscates the reckoning

More War

ostensibly sensible woman emails endorses psychopathic ravings
Moslems want to kill us all because we're Christians the only way
to beat them is be more ruthless than the enemy the guy will kill
to keep his guns refuses to acknowledge Obama is our president

it's embarrassing frightening how many more crazy haters among
our fellow citizens Obama's Nobel sad travesty instead of leading
listens to experts expertly defend their turf deserts his own better
ideas makes himself hostage to illiberal nuts and buys more war

Secondary Dust

ravages of history our time descent
they all say that but this much worse
losses mount life is suffering but old
arrangements helped survive texture
thinned poor populations swirl in
secondary dust blinding aging eyes
we need civilization our bodies weak
alone the planet hospitable to other
species thrive as we throw off hard
millennial lessons smug in our cars

Six Minutes (for Johnny)

sleep like dirt
like melted glass
rocks brain tomorrows
narrowness like hate
like dull wind
American coffee separate
dream rocky road
sits like never
like flat hope
heavy mouth stiff
hard speed powerless
dim gift nothing
heater like tonight
like opening burns
road of deep water

(8.II.65)

Warm Legs

something missing thinking about
ing words proliferating nonprofits
seasonal blessings filling the void

contentless episodes polish finely
protocols warm legs adjust screen
fatted chicken shames poor birds

complain explain apologize worse
to be a rock exposed to weather
easier to let someone else decide

Fierce Theatrics

the antidote to inner obstacles is practice
fierce theatrics dry my tears
hunger is good when I am dieting
headlights coming and going blur
all kinds of peasants glad in spring
moon either waxing or waning
your turning pages my tired eyes

Barely Enough

sick of words what else do
who more like vacant pause
works will play cleanly dire
situation hopeless to adapt
illusion stubbornly struggle
stuck with this self after all
these years better than any
new decision barely enough

Running Away

poets grapple with experience
coming at them running away
not telling them what to think

writers grapple deploy words
like warriors idealize hopeful
notions in the face of mystery

if I knew more I would tell you
what small comforts balance
declining value failing wealth

This Belly

burping thanks for overfeeding us
again not ours but a loving family
worth enzymes tomorrow is diet

who cares I do easy give up wine
cheese additional coffee eat less
of whatever you're having better

not to feel this belly not give up
because I can tell know as well
this choice never hard to make

How Tell

there must be a now I'm here
with more past than future no
kidding aside how clearly see
and say what I think I mean no
other time divides good or bad
dark light real or didn't happen
how tell difference I can't read
between truth and the usual lies

Five Minutes

rise organize how small leaves fall
failing that rouse reasonable dids
given save starry might reconvene
who will come who care enough to

thus abruptly ends familiar sense
despite all signs to stop and yield
ending feminine is that a surprise
that variation is the clue to pattern

five minutes give admits reflection
glints of connection though others
thought the same thing by accident
and tell them what they want to hear

Every Name

tears from a book "2666" by Roberto Bolaño
years to remember every name spelled out
battles villages streets in different countries
and when he came to the door at last I wept

why is it already light I wondered unaware
that I had slept again I thought the universe
had slipped a notch or I mistook the season
some such silly me to lose an hour like that

A Letter

the cursor waits for a letter who
will write who read who answer

slower than my heartbeat were
I that calm could I think or feel

real emotions are the backdrop
luggage undertaken on purpose

what is the foreground writing
music reading being in my body

Like Butter

movies books are input like food
I don't need to remember to get
the nourishment if I liked it then
when hungry again read more
watch another DVD eat three
four five times a day this music
like butter on whole-grain toast

Wet Shavings

eucalyptus you grew too fast wobbly
on your roots liking hard packed earth
not these wet shavings horse manure
ropes could not hold we cut you down

how do you prefer to remember me
young not judging any other age as
tasty smart confident of infinite future
time to perfect what might have been

The Real

if Orpheus doesn't mean something how
are we to be satisfied with many wanting
one or two possibly three and why is that

we live in a web of myths unrecognized
understood but dimly as if our own little
matters would suffice this once around

as if the present can define itself free of
ancient history as if blood fate destiny
were causes too complex to be the real

This Night

music from another room another time
a ball Vienna what do we think is going
to happen Turks Napoleon attacking us
it could be worse think that if you must

hardly the first end of days for some we
have been spared beyond imagining why
then let us linger on in present pleasure
unashamed and grateful for this night

Random Loops

thought fleet uncatchable what structure blobs folded squishy
repeating patterns accounts for nothing familiar old surprises
indecipherable because incoherent random loops few specific

as opposed to dinner on the table soup salad is that enough
for you for me the Canterbury Tales fond routines particular
challenges overcome good habits ideals dangerously smug

where do I take hold of what I take for what it means to be
defining the general when everyone unique if they remember
why what happened made a mark that makes anyone care

Real Damage

start over change the game again
the same arrangement differently
told no difference is that memory
doesn't only happen once like me

in life youth is a ghost that haunts
the later corridors retelling a tale
but nothing alters what happened
real damage done ash scattered

Down Here

the world is too much other we can't
imagine how much each one so tiny
as a few men puttering build a tower

it tears apart confusion reigns down
here the view is narrow partial given
to generality though all is particular

each matters as if it were the whole
imagination yearns to stretch wide
pull it all together but it never can

Look Twice

small town art auction look twice
you missed it the usual suspects
have a good time once a year buy
something not possible to want

any pictures something else has
to happen walls waiting last joy
divides types who can't pretend
anything different is going down

O.K. we're all exceptional I know
the rap and anything is possible
but not likely to surprise awake
aesthetic rapture in the pigment

Old Men

Obama surrounded by old white men
I'm an old white man myself but I say
get rid of them they're the ones who
screwed things up make that change
you promised us why we voted you in

This Once

the story's not the life's
a million simultaneities
every instant becoming

therefore choose wisely
you only have this once
once and once again we

are writers all fictioning
rewriting reality in form
time enough to be right

Look Back

two times living memory flits
places real synthetic blurring

history ribaldry meanly told
confuses search for genuine

gold standard make me rich
the next time we look back

Say Yes

what you need is not what you think
you want you may be wrong about it
how does anyone decide what to do

well how much choice do you have it's
already decided by what you already
said you would do thinking you knew

you said something then have to do
what you said you would do and so it
goes better say before it gets too late

it's a leap in the dark you live with
consequences unimagined changes
circumstances partly not your fault

still you say yes I will follow through
as if this is who you are as if others
know more less what matters most

Slow Motion

I am a typical Libra but she is not
a typical Virgo just as well thank
heaven stars there rain and shine

everyday differences seem some
same sane better now something
to do but not too much is enough

another adage mixes metaphoric
letterboxes foxtails homewreckers
rock the slow motion fast return I

stop before I say what I may mean
it fits together if you can but see
but I was never clever in philosophy

Many Treasures

"If you're too serious about everything that's involved in directing, it could drive you mad." —Kenneth Lonergan (in the Times)

I have a piece of the Berlin Wall
I was there not long after it fell
and picked it up off the ground
it is one of my many treasures
a gold beetle a piece of Indian
beading that was buried in the
asphalt on Second Avenue my
mother's wedding rings others
I've lost my Old Faithful pocket
knife my hope of fame my youth
when my studio is warm I'll write

After Beauty

am I too barely recognizable I
hope not to myself I'm still me
apart from bulges I could take
care of except I like to eat well
it punctuates the day the week

most of life comes after beauty
what we most admire fades as
fast as we can keep like music
over as it happens we sustain
what we never quite achieved

seek perfection anyway it's all
in whatever turns you on real
personhood including surface
values love as deep as outer
space comes in like weather

Not Noticing

positive is possibly good if you
like rain raise your other hand

random movements relieve no
change must always be illusion

silence is not noticing the noise
of time being over as it begins

stealing stories retail retell not
possible to make up anything

Other Moves

and if he had it all to do over would he
make other moves or be the same if he
had gone to Hamilton say escaped New
York a decade earlier resisted various
temptations been smarter about money
and career would he be here now happy
to be whatever age he would be anyway

Future Past

the real me lives in a trailer
in a field I never go out
there is no road to my door
hermit meditator he thinks
about it can't get past himself
sees through to the other side it's
China ha ha future past the real me
doesn't have to do a single thing

Why Suffer?

here in New Zealand it is a day later
beautiful in the rain and not too hilly
here in Silverland we are looking at
deserts eating goodies drinking wine
Mojave only the beginning hitch rides
all kinds bicycling ideal with planes
trains ferries larger gaps why suffer

Making Art

board meets far phone theatre still
theirs next play in rehearsal having
a wonderful time wish I were there

not really but I love that work will
always do it when I can those guys
I don't even know giving their all

she keeps the faith and passes it
on keeps making art what else will
get us out of this dismal situation

Au Courant

I can't read news every day the same
gnawing anything so big intractible or
is that first declension less forgettable

word not found you're kidding even
the New York Times makes it sweeter
than real it's multimedia it's writing

I don't want to know more than I can
handle more than I think I can but do
I have to think like that be au courant

it's make-believe a mental construct
sure shit happens but not to me my
knowing about it doesn't do a thing

Strong Opinions

I was Frank O'Hara what fun to be
somebody I like so much Roethke
was there and Anne Sexton and
Baxter a rhymster of New Zealand
with strong opinions I agreed with

Frank was the best lightening all
hearts with his zest for living takes
me back to being young in the big
city and how excited we were how
lucky in love and art our very own

Inner Spin

little Michael measures Halloween monsters
not having seen the movie doesn't recognize
Carrie threatening to burn him down greater
threat a cold or H1N1 if that is what it is can
I doubt it do we all believe anything anymore

now that everything worries us what do we do
to be free or happy nothing matters but would
if it actually happened to us or one of our own
fake horrors contradict real fears anticipate no
ecstasy but inner spin as if everything's all right

Past Bedtime

form emerges unknown as in promises
not broken but forgotten like distant
parents between occasions for feeling

exact correspondence looks suspicious
to the wrong eyes prying into privacy
projected on never more innocent days

just stick to it while it lasts past
bedtime try the title on your friends
can remember the old Parliamentary wit

Finally Asking

what to tell
more questions story point am I
to add it up or is it obvious to everyone but me
beyond gay class youth still the same
is what I mean a dubious example
of something no one had expected
the meaning is in the details he said
and I accepted gnomic wise becoming
is the essence of being one
not so crazy thing after another still
here and no more changes but I
never did see what is coming far ahead
say what am I about to do this is it
which hardly answers the question
finally asking

Two Worlds

gargle salty warm if living
well if dying what does it
matter who else will suffer
two worlds is helplessness
a cause misery any solution
despair your only hope do
something awful strangers
perish you too never more

Unceasing Comfort

walnut stains poor carpet poor
poet declining parent what a
world wonders unceasing comfort

colds last longer in corduroy time
warmer legs make breaking habits
easy to say harder to survive

but this always challenge as for
growing up is overrated few
know better than laugh or cry

Second Stanzas

reproach not sameness patterns revolve
like galaxies afloat on antimatter timings
ponderous as molecular memory traced
as analog grooves in gelatinous medium

thoughts have second stanzas sometimes
thirds beyond what everyone anticipated
further following in altered circumstance
new dimensions renames plain repetition

Slide Show

crabs come cooked after mollusk
dreams coincidental hard to eat
but worth it to honor the animals

who am I to criticize but I always
do who says what he really thinks
in a small town why else be here

this questioning doubtful leaving
party dancing in the street to wit
Bill's slide show made me laugh

Less Wearing

performance survived now if I
don't get sick all will be well if
I do well brr and what mstake
there you go who knows mind

them I give small town donuts
to spoil a mismatched appetite
for pure pleasing therefore it's
worth more than less wearing

some learn some already are
ready for any jump-up whiter
wishing we'll come again why
there's a howdy if you like it

Play On

unalloyed joy germ-free play on gaily
as if there be nothing to fear it is all
imagined far away tomorrow another
day or person meanwhile I am here
you are close healthy strong ready
for anything we can think of rain or
not necessarily good never in doubt

Soft Regret

how can music against tragic human
failing to rise gifts again oh get off it
isn't your fault even practice is willing

possible joy asserts another welcome
who living with sorrow can be happy
that's my way forgive my soft regret

then let it be known that something
more grateful responds to generous
heartfelt fiction not much but better

and swelling anger departs in minor
thirds given to conservatory training
some not all will master the clarinet

Smart Enough

honey more than sweet nay scrumptious
knowing you'd think of something smart
enough and elevate occasioned raptures
while reason wilts and no one minds that
western culture welcomes cowboy poets

I am not one of what you might be going
along with serious young men who lose
charisma sadly fail to persevere despite
the promise of their furious intelligence
reproaches my diffident nay lax reserve

Folded Mind

even worded thoughts intangible residing
only in the folded mind viz. remembered
dreams remain erasable until written out I
have to lie abed rehearse them not daring
more lest they be lost mysterious layer of
real experience as valuable as any action

Wise Enough

there must be something to say
that hasn't been uttered privately
in love and happiness can't resist
good will genes vigor luck strong
constitution affirmative practice

so what if it's obvious is exactly

what needs to be expressed not

just by me know nothing of other

lives and minds only one person

can imagine a little of the general

and who will listen if I speak will

you or wait to say your piece wise

enough but deaf as I am blinded

flinching brightness too much to

comfort precious breakable heart

Lost Pioneers

type poetry don't wait who knew compute

great weight against war and poverty rise

like birdsong crying sky favor on all of us

beat back wasted year-long pauses feeling

ravages of hungry women in pants desired

work to make true art among lost pioneers

hurry the day is gone the right phrases are

used pre-owned batteries of geese squawk

unheard music dissolves the separate bed

Eat In

weeping for Keats fills my need

after neat manipulation of 9/11

conspiracies and others time to

drive right home eat in reading

Doris Lessing surviving the 60s

like oneself recalled earlier ego

episodes learning to live with it

Strict Obedience

taking care of busyness consumed

another private interlude as if I had

all world time unlimited present a

unity unique enables processing to

be is chosen like Beethoven sonata

written down in strict obedience of

freshly made up rules out of bed

and straight to the anvil inspired

Every Prick

vulnerable teeth okayed at silly

cost mind following every prick

of the pick om-ah-hum let work

drive swim drive shop eat donut

bit drive car cleaned inside then

it rains drive home for my lunch

seductive nap what time where

must I move wash up improve

the stew be functioning human

Revolving Mind

the same thought again

whether the antenna is even connected

no way of knowing releasing

asleep or awake

I just had a shower at home

every single time as I head for the pool

and you

do you think the same things too

and others yet slowly

revolving mind processes forward

improvements are made

work done

Better Biting

wrongs unrightable bitter taste overwhelming sweet

denial better biting wins cooler academic overtures

so we go on because it's worth it public good poets

make up for lapses egos vital signs of signification

and peace is centered in art commitment whether

another wills connection or fakes it unconvincingly

remember friendship even if others betray mislead

ensnare sympathetic instinct as if one never learns

Storm Windows

the drive is as long as the play

three lives and a walk a house

restored storm windows clean

reading diaries is no surprise I

remember what I wrote is what

I actually did entirely different

not that easy to excavate story

hidden in facts seldom obvious

what what happened can mean

Even Cats

no one answer even to the same

question much less what to think

or do or say given widely varying

situations personal qualities and

even religion we might as well be

all the same but evidently we are

not even cats have their own way

Clear Glass

a stone cottage thistles washing

windows and the tractor cash in

the garage how does one sunny

day make sense when everyone

acts for made-up reasons as if

explanation were a good excuse

clear glass tightened screws let

a weeping woman look inside a

clutter seems to function which

barrow or hose earning its keep

accumulates webbing I attack in

five more years in a better mood

Less Admired

"To work without one thought of gain or fame"

like Cyrano but more concise and less admired

nor rhymed nor beaver to cock nor eager sword

nor bitter or unloved a character in my own play

what is the dream again the sophistry of myself

dissolved in too much world or too few enemies

Natural State

summer seems like the natural state

permanent by now it's all a little dry

grass brown everything thirsty tired

in Santa Barbara I'd think oh no not

another beautiful sunny day must I

go outside do something enjoy it as

if mocking fear of going on breathing

get used to it and then it's over joke's
rain on me cold dark and never mind

Original Fact

writing rises early

the whole day free

dark light enough

given electric help

being original fact

without me no you

chance of weather

determines outlook

as in rich or poor

nothing to blame

Lining Up

stupid needlessly tormenting dreams

bickering curtains that won't stay up

blunders idle matrons heedless of fire

inexorable mind its own worst enemy

escape into now chilly morning dark
conscious body reminds itself of ills
lining up to interrupt better tolerates
romance or movie's constructed story

Singing Tone

practice makes better always more

to notice fingers do what mind can

tell what speed possible after time

no virtuoso I was sensitive singing

tone my specialité and it still is still

the notes must be there every one

not bad for an amateur I'm happy

playing serious music so beautiful

tender pure profoundest pleasure

Figured Out

the moon doesn't wait so why should

I waxing waning and it has more time

like forever close enough we animals

while imagining immortality are not

a few thousand years what's that so

I won't wait until I have it figured out

If I Can I Will

yoga light hang weed granola

tai chi everything working again

in time for another long drive if

I can I will be there curtain time

the butter device eaten the fire

escape the seduction applause

if this is all I could say if asked

Holy Theatre

wash the windows mow the grass

better than doing nothing gazing

dully wake up write about Indian

holy theatre pass it on what else

slow connection sabotages more

same endlessly amazing images

not enough I'm hungry to choose

doing as doing something choice

Better Living

say it don't just think it doesn't count

until it's put in words or action better

living when the lotus blooms I'm here

for you and others if I can remember

uneven music only Roberto can keep

time well enough to drum with other

songs vague hesitant I need a beat

to function act alive beyond thought

My Beauty

when I am old praise my beauty

make sure I wash my hair brush

my teeth dress myself in colors

don't let me fall apart too badly

or if I do remember me in better

days gone by are always present

when I am bony hold me in your

arms as if I were soft and spring

upon us warm me with your love

if I am cold don't be deceived if I

don't seem to care I have nought

else but human body tenderness

More Meaning

autumn rugs miscellaneous info

informs the in-between seasons

unpredictable inspiration or not

quite there all patterns dissolve

unmentionable invitation while

considering what thought catch

floating past as if in meditation

a movement has more meaning

that's why I asked you here to

meet what passes for quality in

democracy argument is a noise

distinct as what actually exists

Wild Being

between or after some to be last

words about age though young

in dreams doesn't matter we all

are mainly human isn't that true

so I phoned so I tried to keep in

touch you had your own network

as if everyday worries press less

email attach photographs like you

still the language evolving past

my urgency imagined wild being

thrusting upward to peaks of joy

above the mirror lake unfishable

In Bits

I'm O.K. thanks whatever no further

surgery maybe viral swimming heat

help dust-mop floor laugh at Streep

what happens happens at a distance

publisher L.A. family friends all over

links proliferate warm bodies apart

there we are in bits little wonder as

if literary act replaces ordinary lives

as if we ourselves could be digitized

Heat Pad

pain right hip start stops me

stranded leaning on the piano

sit down unaccustomed chair

wait for help to hobble across

room to chair heat pad helps

later almost better for tai chi

not really what can it mean I

thought I was fine not failing

can't I just roll or slide along

feel good if I don't try to walk

Other Lives

cards say I'm home 400 miles today

450 yesterday from Many Glacier too

much driving alone "reading" novels

each peak beckons if I only could

falling through land forms hidden

canyons lost towns empty stretches

trees wheat grass rocks road crazy

gets to you passing never staying

I only talk to the help nothing say

to anyone else but platitudes the

usual mountain goats astonishing

steeps unimaginable other lives

Party Tricks

it should be a relief that it isn't true

just a thought if that those two jobs

you never show up for the columns

not written and the other thing you

try to go downtown but your heart

isn't in it you have given up flying

is just a party trick they won't tear

down the Plaza despite what GM

did across the street would be like

changing the Place de la Concorde

don't even think it stop the words

One Place

what to wonder whether miles matter

going away might mean coming back

one place as good as another except

yesterday began coffee Janet's trailer

take-away granola missed turn found

finer path plans often predict events

and so I arrived at Glacier is unique

we're all in thrall as on a pilgrimage

nature beyond hard roads a scratch

rain snow closed pass still climbed

mountains in glimpses cloud gaps

driving through what was imagined

Only Itself

does bacon give you cancer or beef

did he really say chirping at the bit

what if the answer is yes what then

accidentally almost went to Canada

long short cut back through alpine

meadows ghost towns mirror lakes

different kinds of landscapes like

western Massachusetts or northern

New Mexico finally Idaho only itself

Side Roads

many men are standing in the North Fork of the Stillaguamish

fishing Thursday morning are they unemployed craggy peaks

appear that mountain feeling side roads beckon in Rockport

on the Skagit humpies are running thick a fish on every cast

fighting for its life clouds wreathe the tops of the Picket Range

Twisp a fertile valley I remember from long ago in Omak I stop

What Else

good genes good habits what else

can you do pray for peace

Not Now

a soft departure wondering how not

to go too fast land lightly zoom off

the next scenic highway beckoning

less interpreter than documentarian

I am not possessive about Søren or
even my own story only want it told

how busy other people are doing I

can't imagine what did I do all that

and more thinking if not now when

Same Old

business as usual more bitter lees

Congo rape dismemberment death

why say so it won't go away so I can 

Obama powerless to make the change

he promised instead the same white guy

gang keeps telling the same old sad story

Having Fun

remind me why I am the one who does what I do again

not everything then is my own fault if fault there be yes

there is no other explanation unless you like to be silly

what time was still is if I am still really the same person

when sheer frivolity was a valid alternative to revolution

can I think that way again again feel good about myself

doing what I do art play giving pleasure and having fun

Other Cells

beautiful Raimund Hoghe 9/11

robbed of his Algerian dancer still

we stayed the ritual saved us from

despair his courage playful wise

these a reason to remain awake

in spite of stupid conniving failed

ideals de trop when we only work

to win we are not our best self

which time is this to redo what

mattered mostly first fresh fallen

for always love true who counted

other cells the same old person

Do Good

forgotten birthdays suddenly come back

a piece of cake in the wilderness or on a

sloop sweetly told is enough connection

no way to explain to the redneck right

their own difficulties not thus improved

if our democracy the best doesn't work

send all soldiers home stop arms sale

war doesn't help fewer guns is better

being elected main chance to do good

Little Noises

spinning disk untoward delays little noises

what is it thinking meanwhile Federer wins

the cereus blooms I finish my ironing home

quiet after tai chi wide sky gestures in pink

smug is useless people may not change but

something does when you least expect what

follows enlarges on the past embrace each

moment passing eternal ready for anything 

Another Language

too much already translated into words as

good a way of living as we can know I

imagine gods have another language too

subtle for limited mind or do we speak it

not knowing and no one notices or listens

closely enough my own attention febrile

at best flickering light in a vast darkness

Chilly Nights

images account for hours acting

solo holiday in thirty minutes too

long something meaningless to do

raspberries and crème frâiche yum

for meaning look to literature art

philosophy music ineffable truth

or not not everything is good for

me even if many others love it

what else new season for duvet

blanket too porous chilly nights

Given Cues

wind added horse calling who

wins who stays away laughing

deliberately slowly as if I am

about to do something else

instead same calm progress

responding to the given cues

because of became identity

simple summation runs true

Think Food

rain changes overnight seasons
mood swings erratic routine no
porch further varnish wet above
surface dimpled winners losing

nothing to think food is good I
am lucky to have all this which
need say more than anyone is
ready to make an impression

Only Listen

america disaster failing world peace
today I scrupulously washed wiped
varnished kitchen dining floor zip
to the city for time-based art found
videos of people tripping babbling
laughing falling down dancers do
amazing gender flip twist audience
cheers fabulous workout artists have
plenty of ideas if they'd only listen
medical chocolate dark road hum
tomorrow clean back porch recycle
swim library tennis piano mow pick
movies my words no longer crystal
even so spare us all fellow human

En Route

potential visitors imaginary fill the empty
house life clean a worthy goal momentous
varnishing before a play-like performance

if it isn't art what is (it) what I said again
amazing wit awaiting gleaners may notice
unuttered sentiments alphabetically filed

where the time goes must have passed
en route tomorrow already gone without
adequate expression of stolen favorites

98 Percent

celebrate with kisses cards presents
heartfelt appreciation good getting
better all time well-practiced love

concentrated pesto in the freezer
raspberries horses cats contented
moon 98 percent glad stayed home

we feed each other tai chi balance
even as the ease of summer ends

Ordinary Day

somebody wins it sometimes me
ordinary day simultaneous special
click through screens as Bergman
makes it meaningful for the actors

no faking detailed attention just
so is the absolute max each one
match fun for someone making it
up as he goes trippingly along

not that I can read about it before
it happens to me who used to be
there with able bodies in amber
waving gaily to the teeming horde

Worst Mistake

say no more than possible wilting if appropriate will avoid rejection first balk your worst mistake as if meaning hides in rules of sport they make the game that's all I need to know who is accepted and whether fellowship repeats the best or worst thing about us no one is talking imagine what else goes on when no one hears more clearly than well-trained bears hang on the wrong word

Singing Light

clouds decorate the sky little puffs scattered about bigger clumps thicker dark underneath the sun shines around and between them so beautiful day perfect for anything valley spread out below Coast Range beyond forest road too rough turn back burnt fields black set off green brown earth tone luminous in singing light

Book of Guinness: Michele Santelia

I began at the end toward the beginning. Disrupted the sacred order one backward letter at a time, made ancient muses incoherent with the clack of hollow keystrokes on multiple blank boards. Noon to morning unraveled text rolled— eb ot ton ro eb ot— over an unseen screen. Scrolls, sea dead amass in stacks, an odyssey mired in transposing contents with emptiness— something into nothing. Day out, day in, diligent and precise, finally I make myself as something in the book of nothing. —Margie Doolan

Among Men

seriousness of purpose matched by humility, warmth, and good cheer says Obama of Kennedy admirable among men good among Senators

Other Games

once you win stop playing is the rule for solitaire you know other games but no go ahead waste more time reading goes right through like food water nourishing Beatles war suffering films too long or take you away try to remember it's easy to forget like a dream on waking things happen it's gone your'e not the same

No Excuse

phone in my pocket no one calls boo hoo poor me not like Soren who feels wronged I've merely miscalculated never too late to do something different though actually I have few complaints the tractor rumbles past in the twilight give nothing up add on productive action further others beyond comfort rises adventure fear is no excuse for selfishness I give myself a good talking to

Ideal Idea

I have to get out of here but I can't drive down a vertical incline! Typical—what anyone would say in the same circumstances! Anything but obvious. Pathetic, emphatic, empathetic, soft as a ripe banana, turning into slime. Ideal idea: another magazine! Who will my partner be? I move to the salsa rhythm, can't help it, why try? Fish with friends, a walk through the neighborhood, poems, poets, Paulann's pots de crème!

Any House

if not this which then what will enable an adequate cat any house can grow flowers tell me everything you have forgotten and I will prove it I will reprove extra-diagetic words which can't be found within other rooms wherein I will not be surprised again that is the question I want to ask when I look at views how to explore boredom without making worse no how display how profound the gulf while bridging it

Bad Reasons

then ask or not or anything go ahead the wait is worth it like Italian cheese vino rosso lago piazza palazzo what beautiful words for beautiful life women never forget sad eyes smiling spices in exotic climes where parrots monkeys scream like demented divas embroidering all the bad reasons for drama

Why Wait

say something will you what are you waiting for me to call you well I will eventually but why delay pick up the phone or a pen knock off an email what does it cost you really nothing oh never mind I know you are busy isn't everyone I'm not or rather I'm just busy as I want to be something to do every day not too much cards books movies etc. a little interaction

Distant Woes

we who pass neglect our duty to record days vanish unremarked as if no means I may try not hard enough I'm easy but it comes back to haunt us as forgotten wisps of second-hand experience who was there when we were thinking of it blame the would-be dream of history the distant woes postponed someone else screams in agony hear it's fading miles to sleep then we wake up dead this American alive with contradictory sentiment unexcused however mellow

Parts Unknown

everything is the same I think about what is forgotten does it matter if it is bed-making dreaming of urgently departing for private parts unknown matter is being of course don't ask what I choose to tell the text I make do more including what is required as in total freedom ruling every day

Forever Mine

stop think what went down how did it feel what can it even mean another movie book play music conversation act self consumed and go on leaving it undigested think about it so we don't forget write and it has to be read just think it is all there forever mine

Little Business

time to stay home and do something beyond watering picking preserving and taking care of my little business too boring not to good enough aim oriented toward present laughter is part of tears now mercifully spared which book shall I read write when ripe time rebuts distracted whimsy could be better than anything else

Narrow Passages

when people are driving in a car zipping around Paris for example in a movie I keep expecting them to crash you can't see much why not it's supposed to be dramatic mostly they don't like real life we usually get to where we're going and come back safe knock wood but isn't it surprising such speed narrow passages close escapes

Wet Trail

night rain spares watering again wet trail slippery always opposite consider this words need subject can be any obsessed with reality wondering as opposed to what something is always happening inside digestion requires eating requires a life patterned regular action has consequences daily rising itchings to scratch hellos in sum a couplet denies unitary consequent form newly arrived

Bronze Head

unreflective enthusiasm vs. unexpressed insight achingly personal vs. pathetically self-absorbed naked groping before breakfast imposing form musical literary organic structural think about it okay class it's like ringing a bell that is my head bronze from an earlier age strangely susceptible to others' initiatives what do they imagine doing echoes overlap an impossible Midwestern rondo

Feel Better

no unnecessary suffering sounds good to me lying in sun hoping it makes me feel better one aspirin sagging tired I slept nine hours we did justice to the plums read Mankell thought about mowing

Jerky Steps

deer don't laugh or have a choice of attitude or engineer the planet they only eat walk about in jerky steps run swift suddenly graceful leaps or devastate the hollyhocks wary all the time awake asleep is this how it used to be for humans now lulled soft indulging in easy pleasure self-consideration taking good care of ourselves each other

Negative Nostalgia

I am in New York if I am when I am not where am I reading walking standing streets repelled negative nostalgia enough to feel I am leaving this time not alone as if knowing home satisfied within imagined forces replicating younger errors redeemed correctly if I not who being present beside an other then began a plan reactive as unlikely residue of innocence looking on irrelevant admiring gone

Family Loving

a moth is an evil butterfly gin rummy harmless metaphor boats fly over water displace our weight exactly paddling in harmony balancing the wind a week at camp renews enough time resumes my strength flunked the test of climbing passed hiking barely standing up won family loving purely meant for good

Solid Opinion

once started the children are tireless how do we manage our toys as kittens play together when released around the bonfire women laugh men drink single malts hold solid opinion they are doing pretty well so far roof sounds fog on the lake the fire fails to catch yoga anyway light everywhere waits bell to begin again

Boats Waiting

apart from that what am I thinking am I thinking does it matter how leaves dip as rain drops how gray wet the lake do I need to think of something else time stop automatically fill day decisions about shirts what to do when and read and yet the rain makes every stillness laugh at history sauve qui peut between families birds boats waiting for others to come

Actual Children

every day practically nothing like the one before actual children in the house so lively and delightful weird to go without a computer how can I think if I don't write is still possible with pen on paper swimming comes around again even the lake everything same flow same anticipated change even if I am not the me I might have been if this or that which link lasts best in random order

Mere Evidence

not to be read as poetry this jotted mere evidence existing self-created like the chemicals each breathes out substances transformed in process of life do you understand my thrust toward art is something else handmade filling space time paper pages different in kind is that enough to begin again lines pile up because of style choices made for me in daily doing inescapable except by going away here it comes we said we would do it thus will

Poor Me

if I can think of anything I will talk about myself as others do can't be less interesting surely impossible to be someone else whose every thought he thinks of general concern not a word about my play poor me I gave it every bit of self except ego fine disregard it at your peril

On Ice

don't mind me I said this arbitrary intercept because you didn't call or give me an opportunity to seize I don't know how to right the write is that all well then let's improvise the critical mass is anyone talking about us that way hearing another brother-sisterly convention on ice it's hotter than ever later windows wide waiting for someone to come in bring poem drink tea leave me what would you like me to play

Full House

strange noise over bottom half of Brahms duet crack changing wood hot weather coming scares me I'm alone many rooms not used to it returned from dose of city more Proust full house free play reading gnocchi wild mushrooms converse Trader Joe's drive mind erased

Real Color

from a certain small mouth words phrases sentences shoot out like rockets lightning bolts meaning be damned I see them then Christopher sings darkness approaches is amber a real color or what difference a father's opinion I only want to help

New Meaning

utterly called for cinnamon toast the answer whatever the question an answer anyway the Oak Room character changing through time as if anything still the way it was when you got its measure things changed as much while external circumstance lent new meaning who do you take yourself to be now that you know better than ever before what you can't know until it happens then it's too late

Less Adequate

instantly arising as if waiting to be summoned words bring their own meaning don't even think what should be said if intellectually responsible moral purity can never be constrained by silence inevitably part of the noise going day and night cleaning the air indifferent light fall everywhere confounded separation as if we are not all part a western whole less adequate than multiplicity

Only Habit

what I have learned is do it say it gnawing on it alone doesn't help I am easily fearless only habit to correct expecting diffidence and hesitation our weakness become our strength as working on them works no one will hate me being honest this is my concern face it

Without Philosophy

empty of what no it really is me what little I control existentially responsible shut off that inner fickle reason voice wait be cool no hurry time will be revealed something is more real what happens who says does have consequence and immediate pow slowly realized can you handle it without philosophy

Old-Fashioned

it's old-fashioned to answer your phone ironic to wear a watch who cares what time it is unless you have a rehearsal or work a job even a job-job I never really did although anything can be tiresome making a violin is drudgery you have to like it at its worst like people you love

Inviting Thoughts

how do I feel when I feel good like singing inviting thoughts arise wander manifest acting undaunted by any demands tomorrow I will be almost well the next day entirely he said then what young again fresh to the possibility of meaning

Good News

I cannot unsee you come in dreams is all forgotten if you think so then I said what was lost is contrary to our intentions if good news can ever be believed thus formulated obvious true thinking isn't enough poetry to change us all

Medium Dogs

composers get commissions why don't I I'm open to it is anybody listening hellooooo equine Guinevere jumps in the back of my car with two other horses medium dogs that gets me up though I'm not good for anything can't breathe dizzy summer cold

American Roots

fireworks satisfy at a distance from the road through a tree after memorable closer thrills I will refrain from blaming my American roots or customary obligation I can accept or not a canopy of sparks the noises might be alarming if not seen to be harmless ritual release

Honey-Roasted

Everything must come from the heart. —Pina Bausch among the almonds I am bitter but you'd never know that I am honey-roasted lightly salted as if delicious but no one eats me is the issue whether recognized or satisfied with the thing itself in order to go on sell out truth inheres in continuing making

That Long

Look up from my desk on the 73rd floor and there is the future falling into the past. It takes that long, or would if I didn't see it coming. In fact it falls in slow motion: the latest present lasted a couple of months. Stop motion. Then another limbo of anticipation. Then another.

Special Honey

some talkers never stop the music only briefly interrupts and how to say what is enough or censor what is interesting genuine silence rare pleasure photographed unwitting I go on anyway try not to be rude or say the hurtful word someone other than you defending himself replacing lost time with new wine extra crisp muffin special honey

Similar Feelings

what if not now perfect never another time people different similar feelings does one love one other or the being a lover nice question exposes roots air and sun can kill who am I mobile alimentary canal only meaning one or two by one

Other Life

ah yes for me it is special since I wrote it others fun too still this time best compared to what not vile is weaker than detestable I choose advisedly hoping it rings true cast mellow in the hot tub what other life resumes where was I dreaming seeing visions writing something else arising

Smooth Moves

everything I have to say I say in my play every word means more than it seems wavering between reality and whatever else there is outlasting us all nearly over gone it floats in potential pixels on screens is that better than memory I can't even remember who was there or who missed it list of bad all but empty no more notes it is as perfect as it possibly can be ticking along I marvel their smooth moves exactly what I want

Key Moments

granola beats wine bar I'm talked out happy home alone in kitchen interviewed on camera in walnut shade and at my desk with Alfred we gave Mark the end of his movie maybe wait see Dalton reference memorializes darling John Albano one of my few fans remembering too much key moments forgotten

Fresh Jar

in and out at both ends pretty frank in the morning don't hold back where is your peanut butter in the door of the refrigerator I just opened a fresh jar yesterday or the day before Alfred making sandwiches for Teeya who is leaving on the bus

An Ovation

walnuts and cheddar walnuts and raisins beer and snacks in the studio planning the party cheers and whoops an ovation I threw things at the crackling camera girl before that something else a few songs an arrival ah yes the Guarneri rehearsing Beethoven still trying to be better

Say It Again

I have the remote control if anybody does he likes to see things more than once correct any errors of omission perception say it again in case they missed it the first time any risk of redundancy better than being mis- led poorly understood don't hesitate to call I am always here phone in pocket needs press until met don't answer if you don't want to talk

Face It

didn't know didn't say no asparagus gone wild why ask if you don't take note I said what I meant again that's the thing someone tries to disguise because as therefore exhibits wit within narrow pink circles whence thistles laundry sushi Greyhound Idaho come together summer is a laugh act face it you

New Potatoes

summer brings cherries three varieties tiny new potatoes four first blueberries proud father everything else abundant do what you have to do comes out as something else the stool collapses it doesn't matter the machine hums on why fence the tree pits deer eat lower branches anyway I don't have to decide what happens only what I can improve

Choose Wisely

I like washing dishes believe me we choose our attitudes "I am immune to traffic" china chips faces age what can we do or say choose wisely

As If

nothing means anything I will wash the windows anyway I will think of things to say say them anyway as if anyone cares what I reveal about myself we overlap by accident moments' attention lapses I will keep on doing plays if let as if anyone believes them

Home Alone

what is my treat smoky Laphroaig after running lights and sound for thirteen souls in seats the word is disaster not failure shhhh you are the one or not my fault no blame pause to give the star her exit fix what you can let the rest breathe I love them all now can I go home alone again or not because I like being present as well as praised

One Rises

one sleeps one rises one drifts one hesitates before acting one wakes on the catty sofa in the middle of the night and drives none is better than any other only another possibility which is positive is the question who gives gains traction improves

Who Else

long light summer pleasure first free day in many weeks plenty to do just to catch up still to finish "Holy Memory" if I want to work I always do and then says Jonathan and then something else arises helping writers to research long gone friends who else historian of former present my own nature still untold

Safety Belt

coming matters going mere subtraction restoring absence until we meet again a family plays always more connected one flood establish mutuality plentiful food sweet wine she said enough for two of anybody else would wonder bristle but having decided other fasten safety belt before we completely expose ourselves

Better Food

embrace what happens be easy and convenient loving friends a friendly sky sweet evening welcomes our walk not what was but is now the family includes a past we all agree on pick asparagus do puzzle speak about animals a hedgehog quickly cured a bat demanding better food step back relax and rise to match the occasional heart

Personal Record

more people at the opening night party than the show tonight's audience of three a personal record we did Sam's play for four at the Cino in sixty-five at one a.m. Christopher was there and Mike and Kathleen means what without the brain of Pooh combustion numbers me among its fans arrive tomorrow for the matinee my notes about improvements not obvious mistakes

Only Mine

anticipation of an audience will they laugh will they get it at all well even if they don't it's entertaining and a classic too it cannot fail he says but is it true what failure when success is doing what you want to do is art a little real or more than only mine what has begun will now improve approaching realizable perfection

Three Weeks

wiser and lighter I press on wanting to see Phaedra fun and she is even without the car wash nothing better than a death on stage or three or more but that's another story she said departing saying on with the show the rest of life on hold we open tomorrow play three weeks twelve chances to realize some semblance of what I not too vaguely had in mind

Every Line

Vermont lady pink cherry bzzzz he wrote that's all saying I mean before every line we know you do but not really it is not that real I can't explain and shouldn't have said anything or needed others mean to be duly misunderstood if shoes can answer a question feel yourself falling unconscious who are you someone is pulling back the eyelids glittering green beside the suddenly silent river

Even Eyebrows

I have usual unusual problems but at least I am not president responsible for everything any more how to pay poets how to rein in the military work around loony so-called patriots dimmer failure bad enough be treasurer again my mind can wander off subject responded favorably if suggestions phrased just right who dared dye even eyebrows

Bear Two

off all day I took a nap after breakfast cleaned the house caught up with emails about bear two changing scene the past is longer than it seems at the time decades on end centuries barely mean more tomorrow begins it all again

Stupid Wisdom

nothing can fix the past but something else will happen unpredictable according to your disposition you can fear but why should you knowing what we do it won't change a thing it is fate in retrospect naming decades later to contrast with what followed no one knew stupid wisdom reassures its own blind gift

Free Speech

the usual show business thrills hot chocolate weather systems horse remarks even egomania eventually props add to some referring texture similar to life learning who forgot to say so simply slide aside as someone takes your seat change places with an arbitrary partner time spills wetly forward counting probabilities less predictable than obvious free speech dues

Holy Ghosts

so speak our holy ghosts dear comrades of a different nation music fits in everywhere while dialogue and action continues can you think drive talk at the one time thank you for being grace is a blessing whichever gift restores full good willing

Rise and Fall

ride the rise and fall the tai chi cat computer spider personal personnel timely memorization potential disaster narrowly averted not so easy to be patient but necessary if anything is willed is beautiful as if this is what I meant after the years come out even

What I Said

O.K. then go home eat pie sweetie I know what I said was silly that's what I liked about it come back in to check the ice cream unmelting after that can you forgive what didn't even happen sure honey I mean it equanimity is good whether pregnable or not remotely so inclined

Possible Beauty

correcting inflections is almost enough directing now that they almost know it watch them struggle happy when they play the language almost carries them along it will I know hope see possible beauty truth amusement swinging free thought memory comedy drama meet between the lines of life remembered new each time it can actually happen

Old Enough

glad to hear from anyone who cares to answer my appeal for audience feedback artist may know better if only old enough that's what I mean by comedy elemental dear that you would say so much more than humid clean up the filthy light booth dust strikes back at enemies all siding with each other why offer if you can't find the stuff I can arrange something else even then the form solidifies you are not one to object say less as the actors learn their parts the whole I only dream

Alien Text

iris explosion root beer float "Alexander Nevsky" bear dance where is anyone knows or cares what shoes whose hair I wear who wins or not what matter grieving for what doesn't exist sink into the flow falling eyelids grace pages of the alien text third act resolution if there is one way structural analysis who greets or ignores me makes me hate them possibly came first

Day Off

I needed the day off shockingly tired I have been pushing day and night oh I love it I couldn't be happier but suddenly could hardly walk sinking as if dying fortunately I didn't have to do a thing but address postcards send emails make a salad eat watch "American Beauty" not "Alexander Nevsky" finish up a Sunday puzzle with my love renewed ready to cut my hair and be young again inspired enough to do what I imagine entertains myself and others

Final Blast

as my mother was dying no more food or water her mind gone she reached her arms up desperately I kept telling her it was O.K. to go she seized my head and pulled me down and kissed me on the mouth final blast of love from all our time

Patty Cake

Uma's bipedation takes me back and makes me wonder why do I not have more fun with friends although they are old now most sitting on the grass in aluminum and plastic chairs watching idly commenting and I am doing my work building set pieces wiring lights while Dan makes a movie on his phone which I can't load

Aim High

mosquitoes in the theatre don't eat bananas perfect food be chartreuse for example how express be happy all right now poolside line learning while Sierra swims will consolidate mad scene Callas sets the standard aim high chin down lemon sunlight frying brain waves goodbye awhile then exits onto the western veranda

Flat Black

what am I interrupting only Proust carefree whatever the topic bright light as opposed to heavy or dark and how make love language sing rip down the paper paint the walls flat black tribute when meant gay revelation alternative possibilities kid yourself not poppa cut losses

Dream Truth

how transition one mind wider practice chocolate are you here question mark a separate painting hope every blessing reveals the word quietly its meaning mad cadenza undisputed master no one here hears birdsong fluff blizzard subsides as twilight falls spelling Mozart of course I want to solve problems arising natural immunity more limited than wish fulfilling dream truth

That Magic

detestable Cheney spoils intelligence can be so sweet flashes of sensitivity laughing playing exhilarating death and gradually they know their lines I won't accept a single wrong word slippage pause and fix it wonderful actors know I know what I want not how to play it that magic their own this is not a hotel the food is better love real daylight focuses its poetry on you and all come together again vainly complicate each other's lives

Good Intentions

how can John Lahr say that about Christopher Durang doesn't have the skill it's true but isn't lameness a kind of virtue nobody reviewing me what's your degree in I don't have one take that you academic or take it back but I forgive you if you forgive me we're all in the small town soup tequila with cinnamon if you say so I trust you little sense though it makes to play Puccini on good intentions anything goes on your birthday

Good Eating

floating sinking bears erdbeer how does it matter whither my drift lies truth or stupid when I work for free if you don't know me I don't exist rational fear dictates lumber order while I have truck to haul it home after seventeen years makes good eating sleeping be called creative San Francisco claims Diane as poet laureate deserved just as Freddie surfaces through Soren's wild eyes as if no time flies like the present

Knowing Better

something cheerful if you don't mind it's only entertainment rain pain who will you tell if not me knowing better then again something has to happen after you introduce the characters it stops being fun if indeed it ever was something something more the same answer implies a different question of sanity calmness service to humankind

Tear Tracks

quickly do it before you forgot already the moment passed in spite of good intention missed cue deploy odd considerations even then you will be my own chosen dance partner spectral wraith wrapped around a neck or tree peeping losing respect I won't tell if you don't appear smiling tear tracks signify an allergy or unanticipated move cleanly executed really works

Some Return

an email from Johnny's half-sister what a wonderful world we live in time passes and also loops around some are gone forever some return new connections combinations rise I will write back nothing will follow only the idea is worth entertaining what can still be known recorded what is forgotten is most precious whether you care is all that matters

'Be Good'

secret anxiety then there he is waving to me outside terminal never doubt dreams come true ideate wait execute plan enjoy creative natural understanding say "be good" and he can do it be this just the bare beginning rehearsing is my favorite work

At Any Speed

a day without playing music apart from a fragment of Shostakovich he means it to fly like the wind is it good at any speed like Bach a day without writing apart from a press release reiterated if no words spring to mind start anywhere something follows Rohmer Jansenism Pascale much else missing from every day existing far away or forgotten weather furniture nature oneself insist

Soaking In

La Niña stirring still dashing against windows lashing unseen trees barn lights turn on the air moves drops hard some white soaking in she comes from the Indian Ocean she said everything connected high currents to deep cycles so far feedback eventually rebalances but the melting ice massive vehicles ashamed or should be won't swing back as far whatever we expected will not be the same it never is

Each Word

bought punctuation makes me laugh loud music overwhelms conversation stark rescue parts the singing waves here we depart from familiar routine interrupt if you have to say so speak each word heard clearly is important tell me again you mean it if believing matters actors are paragons of truth

Private Aid

blue cheese and apple is a start or finish the day eighteen hours old spelling natural right lively or did it mean to be real wisdom chewing through fancier stuffs what does this pattern suggest I will be your man if you want me speak in my tongues if you let me manage for myself on private aid or sheer necessity throw a party for what pass for friends excuse tardy rude obscure judgmental something brought me down I let it pass it does by then known figures introduce the gay routine

Too Soon

rewrites carpentry "Nashville" 1975 choose to remember instead the good times Mother now roll on season flames glass Bangkok Vienna wish hope miss what will be and the other too soon hum me to sleep before my ruin leave me a lock of your raven hair

New Each Day

being lucky is unfair who is guilty of history genes bad parents they probably tried to be better failed youth's light heart may overcome but then it overtakes pity no gift money only measures obstacles luck is not transferrable or safe no bank allows deposits make it new each day and it may stay

Here to Stay

write something anything every moment counts make an offer or pay in full no insultings please and if I have to be president again I am willing now you know what I am thinking about myself you need not express or even have an opinion but if you do I will try to find the positive in it therefore rise foamy smiling hold nothing back consider lightness my ideal if only I knew how I would lift us all be glad you are here to stay

Even Letters

fire in Santa Barbara again rain here I go to the theatre I go to everything I like it even if it isn't good not jazz football tv what else does anyone do complaining never helps do what you like I don't forgive you but it doesn't matter I didn't see Ann's punctuating gestures happy to know were made and in the end we will all be nothing words come apart again even letters forgotten eyes unsee the finest art existed and we knew it at the time

Not You

do not believe the I it is conventional to be sure even if you are not really one person who can speak of himself inexplicable encounters in the night unspeakable modes of maneuver between the sheets of paper poses more purposive than apparent truth experience refracted in a clumsy medium dogwood coldly pink only momentary sunlight sparks of dew fiercely growing grass do not believe the doubts arising early dark shadows falling spring you are not you except to another nor I the self that would appear after all saying close the book

Deadly Time

essential revelation already forgot I cannot teach you how to be alive critique of your actual being would change everything you barely have necessary arrogance wears a mask of classical humility lightly owned reveals the lying shapes in space contrived to counter deadly time this the inner nature of the drama dares not speak its chilling name

Fast Enough

words naturally arise like walnuts like cheese or cats hunting birds between gestures specific actions rehearsals my favorite doing fast enough today scene one tomorrow two certain moves perfectly thrill life decides who plays what music whatever you think you want this is what has to happen even now

Given Form

can't go on ignore everything the only way butters memory roadkill broken meat burned laughing hags worship death self-important collegians like your me once well mellowed stub of self relies on instincts word-choice beautifying what will presents that given form says more less relevant mind meets halfway home forgives dark plunge amid sunstorms

Dangerous Forces

everything connects Hippolyta married Theseus before Phaedra half my cast was in my Midsummer Night's Dream Guy Jackson coming to Oregon like a dream of confused coincidence I like and a wild storm struck just as Vere invoked Poseidon dangerous forces have me wondering can I be serious Woyzeck all commitment invention it is no more real to scream and get wet

Maybe After

lilacs and cherry blossoms replace the fading daffodils art reposes on logistics no way I can think maybe after the first hurdle once rolling will continue straight ahead

Natural Rhyme

fast color covers Portland sidewalks pink petal pools under greening sun I needed a drive a justifying errand a good cup of coffee and a haircut city bopping suits my natural rhyme even the wrong hamburger fits in without complaining I find my way unerring like a kite on a long string

Intimate Knowing

even if I have the hiccups and you laugh at me I love to hold you close press my head against your shoulder something about your ear special electron exchange even if I get up again I will come back to warm you sleep in the friendly field assured of inimate knowing

My Nap

reality is lying on the dirty concrete garage floor trying to demount the dull banged up blades of the jacked up riding mower and failing or is thinking I am up and talking and wondering why my head is down on the desk everything sideways horizontal vertical oh it's my pillow I'm on my side in my position hands warming each other tenderly oh it's my nap

Top Down

fold the top down on my little car and drive across the city my birthday originally just us sitting around a table turns Laurel and Hinrich arrive then rows of chairs like an audience naked youths rolling at length a stranger recruits ball-players night rain waters in my fertilizer couplets snapshots in an album

One Word

poets' thanks all my reward those who can do inspiring dedication so I although after wanting more decide on just one word at a time then you know me if you care or dare resolve the seasons' beauty grant my right or wrong to show what anyone might have become

Proper Tools

we all have personalities and have to put up with a lot or be alone solitude certainly has its place I need a chunk of it every day but it gets too boring you look down the road as evening falls hoping friend or stranger will appear but usually not and it's hard to get stuff done beyond the inner work a world of meaning proper tools many hands

Many Truths

many truths arise at once then which ones shall I tell not personal exactly but all truth is personal what else is there near or far god I'm wise in my twilight flowering feet up between sweeping mow cook meet schlep something good will come keep making moves

Little Enough

this is little enough to separate my dream from waking silenced phone I would stay there contend strange arrangements closely private nurse uniform making body transparent crystalline jellied shall we stay one day more before we go back home

Deep Water

yes is no more no than you and me except the wilderness of wondering pictures can't ask questions just the facts feeling their way forward into deep water words can't image what I know entirely transparent set the book aside when it begins to move

False Bait

poetry helps but why not me I only do it because I want to not to bother with the crafty art say anything and be done other voices doesn't answer how else might come better slower fewer saved for years each example matters more why go on then losing hair anticipating other obstacles rising to obvious false bait is nothing something else

Private Parts

saved for what must leave this heaven
arrive on schedule for the senior prom
a promised kiss of no regrets or grief
despite whatever else you think of me

glimpse between the beats of Brahms
another possible harmonious going to
meet in Amsterdam or Paris whoever
knew no limits or measured flexibility

then I took it all back rearranged our
tulips for a different occasion rather
floppy but I like that more than tight
petals shyly hiding their private parts

Natural Smoke

high time decrime benign marijuana its only harm the crime criminalizing it causes lives ruined by arrest incarceration not by a natural smoke ready access warped furtive cost ridiculously inflated private pleasure not public business on my side reason compassion facts on the other posturing cruel fear millions for prisons legals enforcers many thousands of useless jobs

The Way

another test survived is this the way to think about living avoid pressing lips together not half bad for an amateur Hinrich recorded my mistakes only the preservation rankles convey both romantic sorrow and pleasure in expressing it then the evening opens up balmy birdy at heart festive

Weary Bones

too beat after being on all day find limits suddenly good poets sunset high peepers converge with spring I cut the grass do my little thing help make it happen give what I have then it catches up my weary bones drunk man gives up cigar not to stunt his baby short by twenty cents for a six-pack bag boys add dimes that cheers me up I feel good fulfilled empty fullness sore feet drooping brain memory of laughter

Sullen Craft

two festivals at once I'll have my cake buttered if movies better than poems seem an art of another age when one had time to take apart to reassemble as if learning how to live more fully the piano has a broken leg and can't be moved and wasn't tuned make do the music just as beautiful cunningly sincere or sullen craft lead horse to water you can make her walk right in

Not Dead

I'm not dead I am sitting in my chair reading about twins drinking red and waiting for the artichoke to be done then I can do something else if I like the light goes I am even more alone not minding because it's temporary what not Lawson makes poetry of sewing lunch sun warm gradations of color on the cherries' afterbloom

Sustained Flotation

words like snuggle and warm for example any concept you care to mention something needing to be acted out the weather changing clothes flavors textures light falling on wood sustained flotation as the current swirls past monumental achievements whole new systems ideals of stone brief present long generations electric extensions augment impossible regret

Too Terrible

too terrible what happens how can I take it in 1.5 million killed in Belarus in World War II immigration hell tens of thousands in solitary confinement now how it goes on always too late

No Self

is this mere existence I can't imagine nothing like Samuel Johnson if that's the point great pleasure of imagining I don't know pain like he knew pain either but Beckett I can understand and sublimely subtle Schumann who pulls magic no self showing it is all self subsumed in art itself offering the actual experience only go there whatever distance you have to leap

Wide Open

reborn with morning spring your own reimagining anew young eternally wide open resurrection isn't it is going back reabsorbtion into god father recapitulating sperm did I miss something better synthetic authenticity mine own rediscovery of worlds

Whole Story

no out when I'm crazy insisting on some dumb as if I could always clear virtuoso of being myself how do they do it great ones power through so I can too just not as well this is the person too the well-known consequences of neurosis or whatever they call it now you pay rise above put up with imaginary opinions not telling the whole story