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how to explain that this lighting doesn't work too white too green on purpose the women's makeup too pale the costumes on purpose but it doesn't I can fix may I add some pink no the concept great but it can I make you see I see let me change not weaken the umbrella handle broken lines tangled in wires overhead strut bed broken hostile careless grip home is a trap I am trapped here in cloudland going to bed hours early too many covers nothing to think it's my life What one is doing now does not legibly describe what one is doing "this year," say, or "this seven years." The selfless self lives only in the moment, and still the years add up to something, decisions and moves are made, the situation changes.