Lived Reality

 do you mean what I think you mean
probably not no one does never did
amount to craved recognition which
won't mean what I hope for anyway

that's the reality behind lived reality
assumed significance misperceived
poorly revealed despite every effort
to be transparent about inner riches

where the scholarship interpretation

attention to intention faintly realized
expense in plywood distracted actors
doing all they can with my material

what I imagined hides its little candle

under false modesty denied ambition
shorted out by comforting habits late
recognition squandered opportunity

this is unworthy poor me when I'm
fine thank you this is what I wanted
all along amused by doing art ecstatic

in realized moments of perfect being