Letting Go

 are actors entertainers are
opera singers are writers
yes we all want to give you
a good time and something
else you don't always get
in ordinary everyday life

simple words for a simple
idea letting go of all that
seriousness naturally play
with thought and meaning
have some chocolate turn
on if you like to have fun

Lived Reality

 do you mean what I think you mean
probably not no one does never did
amount to craved recognition which
won't mean what I hope for anyway

that's the reality behind lived reality
assumed significance misperceived
poorly revealed despite every effort
to be transparent about inner riches

where the scholarship interpretation

attention to intention faintly realized
expense in plywood distracted actors
doing all they can with my material

what I imagined hides its little candle

under false modesty denied ambition
shorted out by comforting habits late
recognition squandered opportunity

this is unworthy poor me when I'm
fine thank you this is what I wanted
all along amused by doing art ecstatic

in realized moments of perfect being

Changing Light

 suddenly a few days I feel newly
distant from my younger self if
that's the word can't even imagine
being that person I remember being
poets in a book are living my life
the way I did at the time with a new
baby writing at night before making
love or earlier or later redefined

if I hadn't written it down would it
exist as it does less on paper than in
mind pictures colors changing light
this is who I was all along or trying
to be me in this body and weather
hearing the toilet flush in the other
room heralding another day much
like the others that have gone before

As If

 it is as if we were here when we were
imagining thought even the timely body
scratching squirming stretching awake
as if never before and always once again

it is as if one plus one were still one now
and always will be even eventually gone
as if you've grown part of who I really am
no need to repeat remember it's all inside

it is as if we knew all along and couldn't
quite say but lived it putting away dishes
making the bed taking care of the physical
as if that was all we could do and enough

Last Word

narrow is deep wide inclusive
one thing reveals the rest and
everything must be mentioned
where to start makes you think
how many days hours instants
give the lie as all of it merges
unity in complexity vice versa
long run big picture last word

Ideas of Self

 when you're alone do you
exist how
would I know you tell me

the other not needed helps
it matter
whether or not you think

we're all busy with other
connected
ideas of self interacting

so masturbate or don't
no one cares
if you're not really there

you may find what you
missed again
when you forgot to come
or didn't
remember who you are