perverse diffidence accounts for certain gaps
opportunities offered and not seized because
I was distracted doubting the value of success
unsure of my ability to work at a higher level
instinctive modesty wars with my arrogance
classist assumptions of superiority unearned
playing the Yale card although I dropped out
that didn't seem to matter when I had the air
undone by my own not doing I pressed ahead
accepting this is who I am not who might be
if I wrote better if I had let myself be helped
if I'd released my ego singularity and said yes
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