Moving Slow

everything has a place it lives
I alone know where that is
I am the place patrol restoring
order for a further dissolution

calmly give in to the situation
opting in or out of activities I
might like if I were otherwise
compromised if you think so

back sore from picking up the
pingpong ball feet sore from
all day on them moving slow
between the group and baby

Making Excuses

automatically opposing opinions
justify any arbitrary reasoning a
new idea barely stands a chance

I opt out of the conversation let
others say what they think is true
of random generalizations at will

creeping misinformation affirms
self-contradicts wishful thinking
offers excuses for every wrong

knowing it better doesn't change
loss of bridges dams bring down
banks effectively accrete comfort

Personal Choice

being here now thinking talking Taos
or movies "Brick" or "Henry's Crime"
after pingpong tennis soccer croquet

baby being herself learning language
observant expecting to be surprised
potent life force avid self-propelled

generations gather in the gloaming
under the walnut tree linked by love
history blood tribe personal choice

While Doing

I don't need to stop to think
it doesn't help
I can think as I am going along
while doing
often something else
thinking I remembered earlier
why can't I remember now

Good Intentions

surrounded by clouds bad situation
saved by Bach unusually astringent
cheerful good will from the tire guy
afternoon momentum last requests
accepted without rancor or regret

the clear blue sky is there unseen
in memory of memory of an ideal
summer now even more perfected
everything done enough to satisfy
good intentions translated into acts

Only Now

waiting for something to happen
no end of tasks demand attention
measure time unheededly running
tirelessly defining proportion taste

this the steady rhythm I depend on
foursquare diligence fully flowing
each deed predicting its follow-up
playful variants fabricate interest

he aspires to abandon first person
observe himself without judging
accept the situation bad as may be
as well as good that is only now

All Me

if I were able to think I would better discover
what I wanted to say to help you understand
how does that matter you would still consider
your own opinions more germane than mine

you knew better than to eat my vegetables no
salt which I sprinkle generously shaking the
horse-headed tapered glass watching its level
go down all me chasing the remembered taste

let it go the secret is the details do what you
have to do implies a demanding muse forcing
beyond comfort or practicality as if sacrifice is
liberation into a higher realm or quicker club

Monday Morning

what happened yesterday
might easily be erased
or else it was a regular
day of rest a little work
why am I embarrassed
mind is allowed to idle
Monday morning comes

Caught Napping

thought is now or never
caught napping shocked
into semblance of action

our own strawberry feast
shortcake al fresco once
to celebrate this summer

everyone coming in mass
meantime five days alone
doing innumerable chores

Powered Up

new life requires our batteries be charged
everyone has to worry about it nowadays
how we wanted to live when we grew up

not that it matters mostly but then it does
reading writing driving rely on batteries
nothing to do and no place to go without

powered up devices shine wink and beep
Christmas toys too readily lost or broken
needing batteries no one bothers to supply

Written Word

if I did I don't remember
that's what writing is for

crisp enunciation passé
pity reserved for others

neither did same things
finding self in originality

if written word remains
meaning what you will

Actual Opinions

have I said everything or nothing
too much or not enough revealed
embarrassing privacies or held my
actual opinions selfishly unspoken
afraid to reveal what I really think
or offered more than anyone cares
to know or can possibly remember

Two Hours

this morning is as far away as
England in the twenties numb
from war brilliantly smart

yesterday has vanished entirely
like cave men's memories of
time before the internet

I don't want to look backward
glances suffice to remind me
of all I didn't know

nothing to regret if it doesn't
exist like a movie or moment
two hours and it's over

Inner Landscape

the dog carried it for example
the it being a special kind of
easel I needed for my work

that kind of obscure reference
inexcusable yet reveals what
might be an inner landscape

France first not this reality
on the frontier of a vanished
nowhere never meant to be

accepting the premise I go on
living forward as if the past
were only fodder for a book

Natural Fibers

cotton underwear
wool socks
linen trousers
silk shirt
cashmere sweater

Dumb Luck

what each one thinks changes everything
but doesn't stop the killing is it thus not
worth considering all the other factors no
a double negative never really a positive
I doubt the possibility of learning more

this is as much as I can hope to understand
despite a bottomless craving gnawing at
the root of each day's dramatic sensations
booming hollowly when struck dumb luck
brought me here I may go no farther on

My Bark

wild laughter where did you go
sadly muted generational glee
sprang out in my father's voice

at Toastmasters he practiced
telling jokes standing up to a
fear of being completely seen

my bark sounds just like his
vague in self beyond situation
when I catch myself doing it too

Random Rolls

the game is not serious
I'm way ahead then lose
is this what farmers do
obliged to stay home to
feed and water animals
keep even with the flora

the lawn is largely weeds
mole holes dirt patches
what grass there is long
unpredictably resistant
no one more favored all
subject to random rolls

My Chair

time is a cycle traveling
things do not return to normal
conversation is not repeated
with the same intent

entertainment leaves me out
cold comfort is merino wool
from REI next to the skin
I never want to wash it

even this will not persist
rain full moon lingering
my chair and footstool
familiar in the lamplight

Good Night

no hurry now that you're safe
I can abandon that melodrama
complete with ambulance cops
total disruption of normal life

expecting us to play croquet
under popcorn clouds I read
Meg Wolitzer on the veranda
mallets and balls at the ready

you never came back from
planting spinach and then you
disappeared completely I was
lost in fiction and fading light

then I found you at your desk
watching some alarming video
about Ukraine or the Tea Party
having imagined I wasn't here

meanwhile I put the chickens in
refreshed their water gave them
treats collected eggs one each
thanked them and good night

Haiku

sun on my feet
moving slowly up my legs
morning advances

I Wonder

and if I couldn't do any of this anymore
what would I do instead I wonder this
more than death too will come need not
even give it thought solution is part of
the problem arises in its own sweet time

seriously I would listen to damma talks
meditate breathe observe the miraculous
world actually listen to music without
also doing something else everything
goes on all the time no matter what

Even Trouble

it's not completely dark
the moonlight makes everything a ghost of itself
carrying on in a world without color

are we like that
imagining ourselves acting in the play of our lives
before an audience of mirrors

think about alternatives
while remaining in the preexisting condition
we hate to love

or change our outlook
having children close is precious even trouble
proceeding on life's own agenda

Each Light

in a dark theatre
each light is deliberate
nothing arises
without acts of choice

entirely contrived
unlike writing
which is natural as speech
if speech is natural

writing is a substitute
for speaking
since no one wants to listen
to what I want to say

words naturally arise
to express our reactivity
our human lot
vulnerable in bodies

It Works

They all come out even, sorted, hierarchical within families, just as you almost always get what you expect. You could do something else, eat sausage, anything, but mostly don't, mostly rotate through your system, worked out with much confusion over more time than you can imagine, much less remember. It works. You could take the trouble to describe the situation in meticulous detail, but why go into all that? It is what it is.

Too Tired

too tired to go to bed
I might as well stay up

whatever I think I write
wishing always to be read

whatever I write down
may be used against me

an innocent person
is not thereby protected

some wish to be watched
others to exist in private

there is nowhere to go
that will not be known

Warm Joints

external demands constant adjustment
pleasing when it all goes well more or
less tennis while it rains in Paris here
sun shines all week water warm joints

doing what needs to be done satisfies
rightness a form of balance my need
when one line finished on to the next
day of stepping uncertainly forward

While Waiting

the worst problem was that I had to pee
or thought I did so while while waiting
for AAA I walked up Water Street to the
coffeehouse which had just closed Jim
was still there but he didn't turn around
so I continued up the block to the wine
bar where Kevin kindly obliged problem
solved the day had turned out beautiful
having imagined an ice cream I enjoyed
a toffee from the chocolate shop didn't
say anything to Victoria when she passed
although I might have wandered out onto
the hidden bridge over the rushing creek
went back to the car got my jump drove
around a while to charge it up and had
my swim after all although a little late

The Ape

not humanity but me
I am the ape evolved
to think about itself

As Words

moon cliff private
pity for the spirit
seeking the truth

renamed as words
linkage evanesces
empty of meaning

replay as human
I feel your pain
unquietly expire