Better Known

small town pleasures match desire
to be stronger with better balance
keep up with chores keep working
I'm enjoying it too much to stop

satisfaction is allowed in passing
on to the next moment occasions
for declaration few will appreciate
still thrill self slowly better known

Before Bed

the first nut (almond) has all the flavor
then fades second helpings not as good
another and another looking for the first

and yet being old is pleasant or can be
you have learned what matters or not
what you like and can readily sustain

a dozen almonds before bed a glass of
milk the night noisy in the novel but
quiet here the longing largely stilled

Good Habits

habit is not bad if it's good
watch yourself watching it

good habits smooth life if
you choose them carefully

good habits make it easier
to stay healthy and loving

break them occasionally
keep them alive and real

Satisfying Patterns

I am compelled to do this
then that the time is come
I must do what I do or not
then tomorrow come again

write read practice snack
you know the usual no one
insisting or keeping track
the machinery mine own

how pleasant to arrive at
satisfying patterns easily
maintained actions I know
I can once again perform

No Doubt

did I mean to close the door yes
I know the water is running yes
remember to put the chickens in
I mean everything I do and say

like to think we all do no doubt
knowing you are conscious too
and self-aware have confidence
in each other if we can stand to

Carry On

everything must stay the same
routine events occur on schedule
or the boat rocks inner confusion
distracts from the novel we are
reading or writing remain calm
at all costs panic can cost lives

or other causes intervene from
heaven as it were chance play
reliable as other propositions
inner processes undermining
plans to travel be young again
counting on luck to carry on

Too Smart

is it because she is too
smart that she dominates
conversation whatever
comes up she takes over
you think of something
but don't get to say it
no pauses nothing new
can arise her thoughts
fill time not minding
any interests of others
ever charming but so
fast you have to fight
not to be struck dumb

Pumpkin Pie

loved ones together this is perfect
we even made a pumpkin pie
this night when Christ was born
adequate vehicle for whipped cream
followed the recipe on the can
so many presents under the tree
that's all right presents are good

Do Anything

don't want to write
don't want to read
don't want to play music
don't want to talk
must I do anything
it's dark outside
cold
raining
cozy in here
Christmas tree beaming
easily chair bearing
all systems go

Some Choice

whizbang new inventions seem irrelevant
news in a rut predicting worse something
happening but not what you think should
know better not nothing still Christmas
nostalgia genuinely enjoyable excuse to
be together enjoy each other that's real

so this is the new beginning I hope you
realize how much it matters what you
think all determined by feelings but you
have some choice which ones to make
important conditioned values subject to
change if you decide you really want to

We Care

our fire wouldn't burn
hard as we tried as it's
been raining for days I
cut up the remains of a
birch Carol topped it
kept falling over little
twigs quickly flamed
glowed went out real
pieces wouldn't light
I threw on gasoline
big flash practically
singed my eyebrows
the sun sees we care

First Step

music is now and anytime
and the dead stay young

now is when you play it
sing it hear it whenever it
was written or first sung
and the dead stay young

here the end is beginning
first step toward renewal
already walking faster in
balance easy confidence
pain is readily forgotten
and the dead stay young

A Whole World

I had a stimulating conversation with Harold Pinter, who had a curious way of working, cutting up his text into tiny slips of paper containing single lines of type, or phrases or even single words, and pasting them down on 6 x 9 cards. I tried to help him with some revisions, which had the potential to become hideously confusing. "'He lived in Paris.' I love that line," he said. I said, "Isn't language wonderful—a single word invokes a whole world."

Thinking Fast

better than I was if not enough
what else will improve futures
built of rumor hope denial faith
required to do anything bravely
love leaps forward thinking fast

resolve to face the needed fear
awake to broken reverie weak
hurting unable choose oblivion
kindly offered you will return
if not as you were before better

Next Bed

I want the world to end to avoid
what's really going to happen is
the whole story of this rainy day
what's rain to me or me to rain

I have to continue to exist no
hiding from that even Hillary
gets sick once in a while feel
so bad you really want to die

snug routine subject to wear
like other parts rely on that oh
they truly help but nobody can
take my place in the next bed

Not Me

"…the ambiguous nature of temporality made clear by the timeless exertion of consciousness…" (Frank O'Hara, on Edwin Denby)

I am slowly learning to read
not just the words or who
wrote them (why) not just
comprehending meanings

I am slowly starting to see
the thing someone has done
on purpose (what is it) may
be about its own becoming

I slowly begin to realize I
completely misunderstood
imagined it entertainment
for someone (who) not me

Endless Input

what are we to do with our
intelligence is grotesquely
corrupted yet real that I am
smart don't forget assemble
effortlessly juggle wordage
we all process endless input
some faster prize economy
of gesture catch ourselves
seeing ourselves through
challenge become content

Too Much

flow on words of my own
language more than enough
say what you will the world
is bigger than I can imagine
Kelley going to India where
every region speaks only to
itself in its childhood ways
English or Hindi for adults
we Americans struggling to
understand what others say
the little we know too much

All Good

to give takes more than less offered
fallen are the blessed anthromorphs
swollen with desire we tunnel deep
seeking the words for what we lack

genius redeems a permanent world
suddenly doubtable despite all good
nor age nor illness enters in Pyrrhic
victory praise not our great undoers

Hard Times

get over expecting things to go smoothly
although they usually do make ready for
hard times try not to get grumpy try not
to let it bring you down when everything
goes wrong philosophy may not prevail
in the end surely better than nothing

Beautiful Song

program unfolding creative months
doing little bits the building rises
books appear order from disarray
like waves rising and falling both

rarely so crisp displayed confusion
diffidence disregard often mislaid
as if I had something to overcome
on the way to whatever I wanted

not new decorate for Christmas
or is it in the quiet application
ready when you are only delay
a little finish the beautiful song

Action Done

if new is an absolute value
what is to be done with old

as morning does not deny
night it follows everything

no excuse for laziness but
action done or to be done

made up thoughts might
replace actual experience

further inquiry of William
James when I've read him

Shopping Online

fun for some
others can't imagine
I just want to stay home
do all my shopping online

joke Santas
crowd the platform
can anyone begin anew
innocence be honestly lost

all clichéd
ironicized death
corrects presumption
renews the perfected page

People Talk

everybody has opinions whether or not they know
the facts be arguable wrong or deceptive practice
letting people talk I have to go in the other room

nobody asks me mine which I am loath to share
unless others agree that obviously I am correct
the general malign misdirected plain ridiculous

if that doesn't satisfy try something else when
hungry eat get glasses practice not stumbling
over words "King Lear" is exceptionally hard

Her Meanings

one word does more than another swell marker
yes for example or cinnamon brings possibility
history geography wild lives shared sensations

the writer is silent observant remembers stories
may tell everyone beware she may be watching
you and thinking I can use this I probably will

not you now not your story anymore more her
own quoted reworded her meanings emerging
in a word Victorian homosexual anything goes

All Great

Haydn Schubert instead of Beethoven Brahms
and a little Bach I'll play anything it's all great

Catch Up

no doubt you know better
I know I do if I remember

or whether the same thing
can possibly happen again

or feel the way it once did
when I could be surprised

I wasn't really but said so
anyway others went ahead

we'll catch up with you we
said but knew we wouldn't

Between Jerks

faced with the entire field of meaning and time
ever immanent in the here now what is one to do

the present is where we actually are it comes in
quite solid blocks minutes hours days years in
the block it is one time not moving slow change
in the next block many things are different time
does not flow between jerks there is no time

My Motto

That's my motto: Do it.
What "it" is is who I am.