Simple Answer

the simple answer is what you expected
if you thought about it at all sometimes
things go amazingly smoothly without
any of the setbacks you might anticipate
if you were foolish enough to think that
something terrible is likely to happen it
will but probably not right this minute

Careful Knowing

the internet is a transient phenomenon
take advantage of it while it still exists
like the many poets I can't bear to read
seriously pretending to be deliberate to
choose the words they use with careful
knowing art is anything you make of it

therefore go out of your way to swim
if you must be improved in the tasting

Perfectly Easy

summer speeds past these precious long slow
evenings doing things outside waxing moon
sails among harmless clouds as if everything
were perfectly easy fruit falling off the trees

we do our part tractoring branches of a pear
that grew too big and never bore sharing my
blueberries murdering wasps that wouldn't
let me sweep the porch fiercely swarming

rain in Boulder even as I talked to my dear
friend suffering depression further slowed
by ECT I knew on some level glad I called
hearing voices means we're still ourselves

Barely Noticed

even if nothing is hidden everything told
nothing is known even to yourself this
minute so much happening you need to
block it with a story carefully made up
to fill the space with nothing left over

actual life is merely background to the
background where you actually do all
your living composed of decomposing
memories of people and events you may
not have understood correctly at the time

this builds up gradually barely noticed
as if what you are doing was the real
though you can't pretend it's interesting
enough to account for how much you
care about how it comes out in the end

Actual Self

dramatic revelations not enough
decisions adding up new views
replace old assumptions killing
fathers disappearing mothers if
what I read is right what does it
mean for me trying to do it too

strategic or instinctual pretend
automatic writing amounts to
the same things come through
I never know what can be said
my prayers part of going to bed
as actual self was taking form

How Many

all is lost at least eventually
uncounted don't even count
how many few remain kept
for another nonexistent day

spend wise now tomorrow
you may not be in position
make moves decide wrong
erasure denatures all intent

Favorable Conditions

each egg is egg-shaped each chicken
pleased with itself everything ripens
in its time under favorable conditions

words spontaneously rhyme without
meaning to or purpose so few they
look alike and confuse most readers

some may think we understand what
one or another intended to say but I
disbelieve the general perspicacity

still the sayers say on millions we
arrange and space 26 letters as if
all possibility can be considered

as if nothing really happens if it
isn't written down but that's silly
you know it if it happens to you

The Other

who said what when why
removes all further endeavor
as if meaning were logically
implied as if that's enough

nothing else matters but
our lives go on some don't
some crash and burn some
didn't make it to the gate

who is the other member
who signed my name who
ate well at my expense
who cannot be forgiven

Different Fruit

if the plum jam jells
if the jars seal
if the book sells
if the story comes out
all normal precautions
all you can do
different trees bear
different fruit
is it interesting
is it true

Go Sleep

plus minus I'm still here
again as if never gone

my chair my Air feet up
on my mother's afghan

take off those shoes go
sleep like everyone else

After Talking

after silence speech
after solitude others
after talking nothing
after thought action

My Case

is it O.K.
to be doing what I am doing
I never know

I had to lie
down before I fell
over

what is the something
else that would be better
in what way

what judge
will rule on my case who
is innocent

Like Glue

change no change still a self
with others don't change too

circumstances clothes family
residue of memories like glue

taste opinion withheld view
across almost half a century

you are more than I knew I
knew wrong never get right

still the melody lingers on

Actual Work

doing helps make time matter
oh I don't mean all the things
you do as a matter of course
but actual work tasks which
I do do but never as fast as I
need to if I'm ever to catch up

Sweet Breeze

what can be said could should be
broken windows dematerialized
sweet breeze kisses bad business
mixed up sight-reading Debussy

ultimately reassuring this is our
life we have to make beautiful
so much is in spite of myself
all that has already gone down

so I did then something else
and now feel better about it
some things end others go on
being even dearer than they are

What Is

do I want more is enough
enough can't I be happy I
am

so don't complain criticize
disdain trouble embrace
what is

Other Bumps

fleas bite the other bumps
red on smooth white skin I
must not taste as yummy no
credit smug me however much
I am ready to be virtuous and
smarter in what I do and eat

Miracles

the norm is fine the stink
an aberration correct it

impossible to ignore life
works miracles happen

we seemed to converge
then what we will to be

each reaching apogee
vow to return the favor

After Alaska

doable transport exchange for cash
then be somewhere else for a while
change everything Bonnie was rosy
after Alaska I'll be the same but not

take a trip that excites when asked
say yes regret nothing respect the
precepts protect direct spontaneity
be more myself and no one better

Certain Breezes

nothing good about the sewage
smell we'll have to live with it
all summer certain breezes or
miasmas hotly humid weather
brings it on workers agitate the
ponds it pours in the back door
of my studio even in the house
so strong it feels like chemical
other moments only the sweet
farm flower scents of growing
then there it is again disgusting

Future Profits

O.K. baby needs careful handling
flies whiz annoyingly around my
moment passing fast but happily

take it while you can forget about
another tomorrow or count past
recurrences predict future profits

dog claws tapping door squeak
voices normal presences soon to
be gone again missing accepted

we are the world when we have
to be sure design idyllic setting
for rare eruptions of family fun

Leaning Forward

I barely managed to say
what I might have meant
if you had told me more
how complicated it is
to integrate the day's
achieved pattern leaning
forward toward your goal

now I could tell you
what you already know
how different it will be
how utterly worth it
frights to comfort steady
breathing sleeps help
achieve the needed calm

Day Pass

guy smell of motor oil soaked dark
shed chainsaw crowded shelves high
summer sun bakes familial croquet
paying attention to what comes up

waiting for day pass vacation from
what I don't know our lives on hold
this is part of them we all must be
delivered of recognized strangeness

On Air

where am I now
not here anymore
not yet there

where is Bach
in the car on air
beyond morality

why do you ask
are you not satisfied
is this not enough

Serious Consequences

programmed by the season has me
weed the dwarf pines in the hot
sun do my tai chi out under the
walnut pick blueberries after dinner
by place and customs by the limits
of my time and culture constraints
of expectation by my own habits
good and bad that constitute my
self inherited mostly chimpanzee
made in defense or compensation
uniqueness sum of improvisations
tune out tune in what did I miss

where then is there room to choose
as you must do in each moment
responsible to and for a dubious
self defined by differentness all
the same doing the same things
programmed and all individual
whim serious consequences for
future generations as we are the
future of an earlier past equally
obscure and don't blame them for
what followed their many mistakes
but praise their art and productivity

Priceless Treasures

I should have written something special
in your book but I was having a conversation
with you at the same time and couldn't think
so I just wrote with love and our names
which doesn't begin to say what matters
acknowledge gifts of friendship and music
priceless treasures of our ordinary lives

Cosmic Blink

whatever I was thinking just
let it go something else will
come in tell me your name
again how do you stand it

that other wretched voice
falls feet first a red Morgan
stops fashionistas fall out
accusing him of sleeping

the next day another time
another Fourth of July ten
years another cosmic blink
while this moment marked

Choose Life

if not then now the order can
subject to change the subject
oneself simple node in lattice
work one aspect of our being

it's not that hard be different
yesterdays strong predictors
will prevail sans will choose
life choose commoner sense

choose meaning suit the day
cloudy golden wheat ripens
Mozart ageless sets example
to whom be more than true