One Lunch

no no no I'm alive yes yes giving myself to Christmas lights restaurant work one lunch working on my play healing continues warmly expecting wanting nothing else but what I seem to be having flow slow growing

Common Goals

parallel and interdependent harmonious cohabitation models perfected society farm small town world city worlds continually coexist share labor spoils persist toward common goals happiness survival comfort art of mind imagination body conscious non-commodity other same utterly different conditions daily realness history tide of battles glory tangle mooring drags here again bereft escaping battered homeless dead

Three Desserts

genuine hospitality excess food deformed ritual demands more appetite gift exchange requires we eat and it is mostly very good large bowl extra stuffing green beans rich bacon mashed potatoes gravy sweet potato apple three desserts six eaters overwhelmed people change menu same mushroom bread pudding hours work hardly touched every same conversation flagging stagger home

One Thing

what if it never gets light is doing one thing a day enough I can't go back to sleep once I'm up I'm up or just lie there happily not thinking the clock chimes every half hour in one comfortable position

Being Asked

studio too cold I don't want to work well I do maybe later maybe now click and I'm in it enter Ladd enter Milly many questions being asked meanwhile in Racine's he knows frenzy hope in perfect Alexandrines

Potato Soup

money hunger lust power survival doesn't account for my blog or play then why serious satirical cynicism literary tone like Arthur Phillips or myself unbuttoned spins dialogue this makes me happy I thought the day was lost but no after all work emerges application enables circulation salsa seasons amarillas quartet times leek and potato soup

Fond Foibles

movie run straight from water onto highway zooming thinking laughing Garrison Keillor virtuoso digressing king of fond foibles like mind on make-believe clearing energies like Charlie Kaufman depression decrepit death too many books at Powell's and not the ones I wanted I can't read the ones I already have like Hanon's Living Theatre on Third Street I was there but didn't know the half the other home for last night's okra companion love

Mighty Hunter

the mighty hunter comes in camouflage suburban harvester blind tent deer baited close fenced hi-tech bow aquiver long ago I would have leapt to the stupid dears' defense now mock and ruefully applaud what does it mean that I no longer mind one more thing I don't have to have an opinon about or is that denial a cop-out

Good Enough

if not you who if I don't do it no one will if ever the moment was this possible strike this pitch ripe as it gets piling on if not one another if not now never if anyone matters we do hardly genius just good enough

Most Good

seeing tendrils like my thoughts want to go somewhere climb light dreamer make dream pattern like tangled vines faster application efficient use of time like Darwin watching flowers grow can prove his theory only less productive essence not what you do but who you are Montaigne thinking about himself hundreds hundreds pages most good

Both Sides

tai chi legs aspirin milk cinnamon toast outrageous comfort warm plate well what is more important if I am not miserable old Newgate prison for example might as well be happy I am lightning strikes rainbows manifest always thrill remember storms run for cover I still could run Montaigne likes both sides suicide sometimes right torture never mind over fact

Nothing Finer

2.5 billion increased to 6.8 in my memory 70 million extra Ethiopians barely eating fewer Italians and they are the best most fun fits in as art fountains strolling streets naked bodies larger than any stone others mining tin carry dirt through jungle taxed harassed miserable happiness high priced meanwhile imagine 350 varieties of pasta killing irony the most vulnerable people least able to adapt requires what of one can't face facts too much denial under cuts both ways disabled disimproving hearing nothing finer through the fog

Blown Away

meaningless memory less existing this all-time twinkle belies file room diligence blown away leaves have to be raked up fall wet yellow grass like shards of sun whirlpool computer artifact "why am I haunted by places I'm not sure existed" chimes unlike thinking unaccountable apparent lingo lovable in spite as though my better represents authentic trauma

Soon Enough

all good memories of Julia Bates poet pianist Mother's best friend civilized generous life now ends fog all day I washed the tractor anyway returned to our own bed smooth routines give satisfaction what I always wanted hard find willing harmony without ennui wanderlust neurotic distraction moody impatience disposable resistance repairs enjoyments learned late still soon enough

Then Some

part still wandering through dream what am I doing here in Minnesota leaving part scratch ear part hearing fan through sizzle then some other complex hum part anticipating breakfast part regret for nothing in particular teeth sinuses spine joints and later in the day Thanksgiving December unify unfolding crusty kleenex blow part worried about the fire in Santa Barbara hands dancing

Why Argue

chair like herding eels deciding anything better goes broke well why not full but oval November's moon like a cat tangling up our ankles shines love either man would satisfy instead she worries I may be wrong so why argue machines can't clean air only time tells who was here when it was now

Paper Time

update queue moon sets furnace fights paint smell affliction pass these by blessed by god or gods moon furnace movies windows conspire with coffee chocolate vision what I need see to drive begin again flick again minutes unfold paper time like a pop-up sketched in gay colored pencil

Raising Families

deer shot here among houses they live here raising families ever present turning on lights bucks irresistible to men with guns does and fawns do the damage

Choose to Think

If some of us no longer seem to be able to read a book all the way through, it isn't because of Google or the vast quantity of information on the Internet. To say that is to buy into a sort of determinism that ultimately denies the very thing that makes us most human and arguably gives us our dignity: our ability to think things through, particularly in depth, in a way that can lead to our changing our minds in deep ways … your unwillingness to think long and hard is only a sign of how the problem itself resides within you. It is ultimately a problem of will, a failure to choose to think. If that is a problem of yours, you have no one to blame for it but yourself. (Larry Sanger)

Drive By

is it a play or a seduction can't it be both not really inexorably awake despite "Fidelio" words-haunted we drive by later they are there we want him to leave but he won't are appearances deceiving give it up steep like tea like another rainy day not hospital comforting like friendly featherbed

Only Smile

were the trains in the subway farther apart I waited longer every time Wall Street lights less bright and the dream bus never came the vacant house is here where the bridge traffic solid pedestrians teeming entryway kitchen right descending peaceful refuge imagine you can get away it cannot follow nothing to regret only smile fond foolish resolve another coffee no more cigarettes

If Only (II)

real writing Bishop Lowell alive attention paid rewards identity without ego only one like intimate partner verbal mind no like but actual like ourselves except wittier lying bed all day writing poems scheming successfully for admiration one is who might be if only realized it's all the same apart from fireworks occasions not quite perfectly enjoyed

Saved Up

that Mendelssohn trio ideally played too much for me at the best of times immediate present barring moments illness may they quickly pass hidden morsels of chocolate emerge betimes a comfort saved up against eventual need lost control environmental degradation phase out that phrase lingers resolves falls into motion ardor warmly unfolds notes demand another perfectly composed why not admit it all fits

Classic After

marvelous movies that they exist at all created realities people seem to live in patient application magically become continuous to not believe but embrace holding hands experience in parallel latest model Ed Harris's "Appaloosa" formula western fun entirely satisfies you like the actors Ed Vigo Renée the characters they concoct poignant real only as fantasy commentary on types and that's enough Cicero insisted on content anyone can say anything his style thinking embodied in writing is all that lasts ironic if true it is only if true for this moment a classic after

President Obama

What a relief! The Supreme Court will not swing right. Something good has happened. It has been one bad thing after another ever since Bush was elected. One did not realize at the time how critical Bush-Gore was. I hoped Gore would win, may have voted for him, but felt, as Nader maintained, that in most ways the Democrats were just as bad as the Republicans ("nothing to choose"). I had no idea Bush would do so much damage. We have been living under a cloud of democratic guilt, embarrassment, and alienation. The militarists, greedy rich, shameless exploiters, deceived obstructionists, and bottom-feeders are formidable but Obama will at least try to do the right thing. I am hoping for a major change of direction.

One Gallon

anxious excited nervous hopeful scared sassy ready impatient optimistic worried jittery antsy cautious inspired proud emotional tired anticipatory expectant exhausted eager energized ambivalent tense hungry curious confident giddy freaked apprehensive psyched elated apathetic terrified stressed distracted relieved happy suspicious pumped One gallon of diesel pulls one ton of cargo 59 miles by truck, 202 miles by train and 514 miles by canal barge.

Almost Over

big vote needed to repudiate Bush moves I'm hopeful this time it makes a difference campaign unthinkable slog stops thought poor guys poor Obama lost his grandma how do they do it month after month on display the road pressed from every side almost over let peace and justice prevail

Wet Leaves

night falls early now the descent wet leaves collected heavy tarp warm layers not all removed Mahler after "Baker Boys" fitting bedtime mapping other parts glow makes it hard to see this is the radiance of solitude Montaigne rebuking Cicero we can't all be presidents

Extra Hour

time attenuates fills extra hour contentless intellection devises twenty minutes dishwashing till unconscious passages wake to quantify viral intrusions creepy threats sensational discoveries imply a knife impenetrable fog fears disarmed by ringing ears winter woe repaired by spring

Read Together

throat cut by ice a poetry of fear don't fear death Rumi says burns Bolivian Peruvian Bulgarian Chilean do poetry of love one Oregon room Spanish Mexican Australian Rumi e. e. cummings read together shrunken world expanded heart deepened soul higher thought