Being Free

needles all over thanks Lorin hope helps still fear the night good news from Maurie cheering Bicky buying style view Julian here then Taos mowed our grass loves being free breathing dubious cottonwood floating mild spring air

Timely Departure

ghastly night a simple cold combined immobile shoulder overwhelms my will to live seventy is long enough I've done enough remember Dad trapped nightmare nights Mother just shoot me mind body gone lived ninety why timely departure unprepared practical questions love pact serious pleasures tarnished leave no later to be sorry

Just Ask

ailments of others often annoying my own more amusing provoking unpleasant feelings dark thoughts life gone wrong inescapable misery like that thank heavens drugs and someday over hardly serious a life distraction vital what person story make soup movie music swells to unheard climax remote irrelevant start keep writing friends far love close anything possible just ask

Modern Comforts

harness holds my shoulder back bone will heal I hope straight bruises under skin internal mashup hurts less than think conversation birdsong flowers better news enfeebled vulnerable even swaddled modern comforts food no worries mortality no problem unable accurately anticipate know present tip of the real probing possibility

Moving Forward

weary after intense setup incapacitated helped crew lighting novices son husband playwright actor generous worked hard all day looks fine my mission new lights Brush Creek fulfilled reading Ngaio Marsh expertise some comfort long night another age her theatre had call boys embedded culture ours is DIY terrible world cruel stupid wholesale yet we are often ecstatic Fleming phoned from Varanasi putting Johnny's ashes Ganges today 11 hours earlier he said we are good resolution Julian coming Tuesday warm heart head moving forward unknown

Now Later

routine so rudely interrupted I drift through day see what I do read more write thought glimmers intention fantasies now later refreshing how easily might end will not willed arising

Left Hand

Leighton Kerner longtime music lover writer theme development coda silence fell out of hammock banged head broke clavicle (broken at my birth) picked myself up dressed drove Dr. Anderson shock hit sudden woozy blood pressure high pale dilated waxy hot lay bright table blur splinted four six weeks Carol away horse show called John just here lunch imagined something still too dizzy walk wheeled me out into glorious spring day better no fluorescents across street emergency room chilly parody forms CT scan brain normal thank God walked back took chair back drove home John following on scooter bummer typing left hand

All Right

So it is not necessary to always stick to the rules. What is important is to extend your way of life deeper and wider. To have a beautiful ceramic bowl is not necessary when you are ready to appreciate things. Whatever it is, things will encourage your practice. If you can enjoy your life in its true sense, then even if you injure your body, it is all right. Even if you die, it is all right. When you are encouraged by everything, and you realize everything is always helping you, then there is no difference whether you are dead or alive. (Shunryu Suzuki Roshi)

Expert Repair

hands tools in my mouth machine whining older I mind it less luckily it comes oftener expert repair elsewise heal nourish myself balance cash deposit gains tally wine given John diligent bacchic moderation quails who secret thinking wants enjoys reward

Easy Lope

mad scramble easy lope the poetry festival ends whew I made it and the very next day I am watching a rehearsal designing lights for another play starting a magazine planning a harpsichord recital not even pushing another book another play trips children days full moments near dizzy energy falters but does not fail remember balance sit read write whirling world