So Long

hard decision what to say
to natural death arriving
upon his own sweet time

I already know his name
from earlier encounters
unhappily remembered

at least my friends not
tortured and enslaved or
stupidly murdered young

we were fortunate to live
so long and creatively
respond to our situation

Not Enough

love is everything
but not enough
you must sadly learn
the mind wanders
interests diverge
you must find each other
again and again

Something to Say

for Marc Janssen

believe in your words don't
mumble and slur them
declaim your poem
to the listening world
demand respect if you
think you deserve it
try to be understood
if you have something to say

Just Playing

do other people exist
obviously I know they do
there they are
but do they really
are they themselves
or just playing themselves
perhaps badly
and what about me
do I

Brighter Colors

our pink house didn't surprise me
glad the spiders were gone Dad at
business Mom in brighter colors

that was how they did things there
and I was trying to fit in arriving
halfway through the snobby affair

you didn't have to be invited if you
paid and it was cheap if you could
afford to go on living there I was

young not knowing any better now
I see how strange it was how little
we understood the deeper motives

My Body

it has to be said that I feel better
staying at home though travel
cities and people I love invigorate
my mind and heart my body
doesn't really like it anymore

New Aches

falling down a sudden shock
at least my bones don't break
scraped palms banged knee
surprises us all a stranger's
kindness and we continue on
to the mobbed museum great
art sold to the great consumer
nothing to regret new aches
anticipate the safety of home

My Meaning

talking all day uses up the words
I might say more if I knew how
gracefully you receive my meaning

stanzas like chapters house famous
works of art and memory between
eating sleeping and climbing hills

these are moment to remember always
happening for the last time this time
you are present at the inauguration

marching for science restates the obvious
truth waving its arms and chanting
as if history undone could be improved

Wound Up

interesting pillows in the guest apartment
when I finally lie down still wound up
from flying alone and talking to my dear
niece and nephew and their spouses
skipping and eating all over the world

Dead End

an hour with Amazon and they can't
solve my problem if you start wrong
nothing can be done fortunately life
is not like that you can back out of a
dead end head off in a new direction

Many Eggs

earthbound bird of lustrous white
I bear your lifeless body to its return
beside the burbling rushing creek
as wilder birds twitter on unaware
buzzards welcome to come and feast
farewell chicken giver of many eggs
delightful ornament to my lively flock

Two Days

still two days before I go
I keep thinking about shirts
and pants and whether to take
my computer so I can watch
movies late at night keep up
journal and dreams and post
my blog from San Francisco

Opening Night

how a writer feels isn't counted
important compared to the work
but it is what value a Broadway
hit if it doesn't make you happy
on opening night and ever after
deliver the quiet joy of memory

This Me

regrettably now I will
never own a sports car
or a Bentley or live in
an old stone house in
Italy or France with a
big happy family like
Francis Ford Coppola
in a good French suit
the same but more so
this me is all there is
what I have suits fine

Deeply Strange

did I tell you what I thought about
your hair or do you not care do you
have your own ideas and what is that
all about is one's behavior completely
independent of what anyone thinks
even you all acting out our confused
and inarticulate values and desires
don't ask if you don't want to know
how deeply strange these patterns are

My Spine

excess gravity makes everything harder
even turning over in the bed where it
unforgivingly presses me down into the
mattress its foam remembering nights of
struggle yesterday's chiropractor lightly
poking my spine as I long for release in
vain from the weight of time the body
barely hefts the stones we carry about

Entirely Understood

did I say what I meant
to say or was that not
me or you I told about
what mattered most

either you were there
or someone else was
as if reading another's
mind was ever easy

I may not have spoken
out loud only thought
it felt so natural to be
entirely understood

Like a Novel

what is thinking the mind
swirls with recollections
and intentions as synapses
converse among themselves
in electrochemical wisdom
contriving word structures
we can read like a novel if
we allow ourselves to think

Good Cheese

help yourself to a drink
and a bite of good cheese
to temper the kick a little
if there is one anymore

let yourself laugh and he
happy to have survived
thus far largely intact
if you think that way

nothing more important
will be happening today
although it's early yet
you never can be sure

Old Eyes

one aspirin usually does the trick
I will soon be feeling good as new
apart from my old eyes and joints

while Santa Rosa Island neglected
is losing its cattle ranching history
scrub reclaiming the old pastures

so the natural deterioration goes
beloved order yields to entropy
and unlike spring will not return

Other Ears

what I said is not for other ears
is not to be said aloud he said
do you hear me saying so it is
the compulsion to record only
for fun knowing nothing lasts

Lost Memories

not just a dream it vanishes
like so much extra waking life
leaving unintelligible regrets
intelligence missed misread

a painting you were carrying
snatched from raised hands
taxi waiting children gone
ahead to your corporate fate

today's wild southern wind
carries all before it wiping
clean the best intentions not
stopping for lost memories

No Sign

no sign of morning yet
could be the worst of it
this the lived-in shadow
falling across each page
if temporarily ignorable
waiting there all the time

Mere Words

I am easily surprised
but not surprised to be
and also the opposite
how little I can know
despite knowing it all
shows itself ever more
hopelessly ill-informed
all I've read forgotten
reduced to mere words

Turn the Page

what is interesting is what interests
you no need to explain the feeling
arises unmistakably when you look
that direction you can't stop looking

don't believe what anyone tells you
matters unless you think more of it
than yesterday before you realized
you were blind now you can see

turn the page without thinking when
the sentence continues out of reach
engaged by a possibility of learning
which of your interests comes first

Completely Relaxed

curling myself into the sofa
after reading from Pasternak
I rest my head on the cushion
and am completely relaxed
touching you then alone
mind easy thoughts calm
sky gray after brightness
warm after an active chill

Complete Happiness

no fooling time changes
everything a quiet joy
comes home to where
complete happiness is
summed up in a sunset
other energies adapted
to what functions now
that we all know better