Still Unknown

the future is still unknown
something might stull happen
beyond what was promised
though less than we expected

while dwindling to nothing
we presume to be important
to one other person if scarcely
noticed in the wider world

knowing better doesn't mean
another chance for an identity
only approximately realized
asking how soon is too late

no one notices that you're old
until you are still struggling
to say whatever you intended
become whatever you desired

Individual Aims

many hearing more don't notice
except when something is missing
a subtle rhythm easily breathing
inside a leaky electric head space

still alive we keep track of time
elaborately planning it expecting
continuity beyond the actual
which seeming real therefore is

I do mean you we're all in it
together and apart breathing air
drinking water eating animals
assured in our individual aims

Morning Cup

distracted by reality I recognize
patterns perfected by practicing
depend on time having passed

dreams clarify what I've missed
counting vitamins brewing my
morning cup quickly consumed

then I'd wonder what I'm doing
nothing special beyond the usual
reenacting the familiar situation

More Fun

it seems wrong to leave the radio on
when there's no one in the house it's
lonely and forlorn like an abandoned
homestead my musician friends and
I quite realize we're having more fun
as players than any audience could we
marvel smugly at the composer's art
alone though who is listening to me
who is it for myself both doing and
hearing through my deliberate effort
doubly there and entirely transparent
if no one is there neither is the music

Potentially Great

not every day the grindstone
others the shopping housework
allowing the one to reemerge
battered confused potentially great

I am not a popular brand unsold
manuscripts abound on shelves
backup disks and drives forgotten
programs gobble unknown others

have I said enough already old
faintly sensing undiscovered realms
so much fun we would have there
I'll call when I get back and report

Downhill Run

if something is missing
where do I look within
revealed upon the page
how I felt at the time is
all there is to say of it

then this happened then
this then he wrote that
which as you know was
a big hit or fresh fiasco
touching a wounded bird

a reading of the diaries
instead of the real story
understood better than
a downhill run fatal at
last hearing he was dead

Life Matters

too many poets and ideas
fallen through the cracks
or is the falling the point

ideas want to be right as
poems just want to exist
fleetingly then wink out

life matters not the work
and loves it crystallizes
into meaning as it falls

Make Time

letters full of words full of letters
fill my in-box continuously most
superfluous requiring rudeness or
deletion a few precious deserving
thoughtful reply I must make time
I somehow eventually do grateful
to be connected with vital friends

New Light

fold your wings carefully protect
the possibility of flight imagining
weather replacing lost normality

I will not wait if you are not here
or coming back different location
suggesting action of another sort

work avails as practice improves
the odds of recovery old regrets
forgotten in the rush of new light

Keeping Up

just keeping up with my life
takes up practically all my time

barely anything gets done
and it's still too much

accumulated obligations
like unread books

Stay Here

asymptomatic won't last
if I cancel the patch test
even so I don't believe it
will help the underlying
diagnosis unconvincing

live with it is part of old
body mind chewing the
same lame ideas wasn't I
revising this book in 2001
don't go stay here think

Regular Chaos

the bass resonates foundation
of all harmony this the sweet
nothing of rain to disappoint

we will be here tomorrow too
again expecting eternal return
to emerge from regular chaos

we counted on what chances
to be ours chosen over time
as if we were ever one person

Another Place

ready for skiing or a movie
transport me to another place
throw me down the precipice

ah the rush the danger I can't
stop or turn luckily it's virtual
time-limited not factually me

Coming Back

and now you can't even imagine something else
another place another romance different furniture
the other alternative chosen at that crucial moment
when what was going to happen disclosed its face

it was always too late and even later as we speak of
sweeping moves back and forth across the continent
as if foreordained as if what was said was scripted
with blood for ink as if the actual author of my life

illusion may be the thing itself composed of images
embodied thoughts subject to gravity as if material
objects accidentally proliferating collateral identity
attached by comfortable custom carefully construed

or else reduced to nothing like Lear your campsite
cleared of everything not that epitome of tragedy
is there yet a reasonable position between extremes
light-hearted gentle contented here and coming back

Awful News

tenderness junction unattainable largesse
falling into the history of good intentions
without regret repeating what we've said
unheard melodies silly ideas passionate
over being passionate but absent stamina
the latest awful news will not be written
that's what I mean when I start in to write

Do This

writing is not reading is not writing
so what should I do this then the other

One Dimension

that was yesterday this is the day
before tomorrow and the day after
what is becoming of our little lives
who we became is whatever it is
do we regret what might have been
or may exist in an alternate universe
time is only one dimension of many
moving without benefit of attention

Others' Urges

language fuses disparate selves
mirrors reverse looking opinion
links unrelated events one place
emergent from the multiplicity

attention stops to wonder what
as clock-time signals its coming
seize words construct sentences
become one with others' urges

language translates into being
where when the rest remaining
pure notes rich with overtones
known heard without thinking

Still Good

not now the time
still good friends
I actually like this
mellow love life
comfortable home
my pleasures intact
and yet it's going
not now but soon

Second Unit

another me would be useful I
have to do everything myself

a second unit can do my life
while I write or vice versa

when I'm writing I can't read
or feed on other impressions

cook clean house make love
go places present everywhere

not to complain I manage
to keep it all going even now

Present Tense

what I did already doesn't matter
music always in the present tense
former understandings not still true
so I am not being hard on myself
if what I really want to do is work

Not Gone

dead is not gone but translated
as the original writing is over
the book remains to be read
and cherished in the reading
if one didn't have it now one's
moment would be otherwise
changing everything to come

I Kid

I won't say no if asked
nicely but no one does
anymore rarely did ask
I mean it was obvious
that I really wanted to

even now I consider
everything is possible
a Broadway opening
a Pulitzer champagne
simultaneous orgasms

you must realize I kid
plays are always play
and love is most love
light-hearted words
saying anything I like

An Orange

it tasted good
even as I was choking on it
an orange
before dinner
peeled without thinking
fragrant in the cold night air
half shared
my half eaten
without paying attention
ugly coughing
as I chewed and swallowed
thinking how good it was
discussing the Heimlich maneuver
fortunately not needed

Family Forever

do what you are doing
and something else too
said Marianne Wilcox
those many years ago
opened my eyes wide
onto what came next
though it took its time
keep loving each other
we are family forever

Gone Before

perfect as it passes the moment
is permanent if you think it is
gone before you even notice

catch it if you can be satisfied
in the possible give yourself
permission to be who you are

then give it up in reinvention
no sameness anywhere arises
continually constructed anew

Between Moves

words can have fun too well
wrought but why complain
if I can't dance anymore who
wants to dance with me anyway

not your problem let go of it
like so much else not even real
any the less worth mentioning
between moves pay attention

so what the game ends we are
packages as well as waves we
naturally catch the rising swell
and ride it to the gravel shore

Serious Questions

art has to take itself seriously
otherwise no one else will
is it art and if so so what
if it isn't art what is it
or if it isn't art what is
serious questions smile
seeming frivolous to ask
more than the artist meant
serious because she can be

True Enough

better as boys they were driven
to dress as women more or less
starring in their own Hollywood
which came true or true enough

I am what I make of myself it
takes many years you have to
keep on doing whatever it is
eventually known for doing it

and is that the real you then
or have you been eaten by it
played yourself in reference to
what you have already done

Stars Burning

here they come no escaping
whoever chooses to appear
to mark another loving year
poetry music horses books
and all what keeps it going
we are like stars burning