Do Choose

habit bad or not has to be broken not to be mechanical then restart if you choose to or not do choose Schubert's birthday Updike sadly gone courageous observing self even frightened disoriented lost surprising flow replaces stoned hopeful clarity between dreams roses movies crossword solitaire

Wild Garden

eighteen fat robins pecking bugs from the manure shavings in the wild garden hopping bobbing in jagged unison animated fantasy white cat Phebe saw then forgot we watched until they flew away

This Chain

if it can't be read it wasn't written everything is backwards Jupiter in flight telling our story in language uncreated patterns unmanageable by the time you see it's too late to unsay stay not go away as you did what happens is all that happens everything misunderstood upside down children on bars remember how light how easy never any else this chain leading to no one place this rain fall winter defining truth

Shifting Ground

dark yields to light I am meeting to think poetry from the hot cool center far space time retraces figures shifting ground same apartment recurs this music mine as well hear it for the first time in company with angels

Wide Awake

Beethoven for driving wide awake especially Ronald Brautigam playing Paul McNulty's gorgeous Walter piano you never heard Beethoven like that car stereo acting up fool that I was improving what Volkswagen supplied beautiful Nico Muhly score for "The Reader" beautiful movie by Hare and Daldry beautifully done I am touched especially by boys and young men confronting difficult emotions touched by the actors so bravely playing them

Divided Attention

constant conversation with myself surprising how little can be known cousins fall away legends in family vaguely forgotten site repurposed sameness deceives only as details signify intention motives multiple even at the time divided attention language attenuated as if unused

Other Principles

the odds get worse suddenly something happens odd parts time out no actually chance re- boots every second every deal can be anything suffer I mean shuffle off when the moment calls for other principles like causal form fugue the unities

Nine Ten

won again thanks Third Angle back to 1974 goodbye to all that New York excitement sad yet it had to be other lives waiting to be born and all that followed follows still witnessing if that doesn't do it nothing will spot-remove or count me out nine ten and ring the gong afterwards we sped right home yawning eye watering ears ringing tires singing the road

Never Mind

scheduling torment how can I care nobody should feel bad their stress inevitable swirling egos who works who has escaped the daily press on this too can be resolved or if it isn't time forgets but rarely forgives all wounds recur like Wagner winter's floods like been there beside stove front side toasty never mind draft

Stay In

a typical mad adventure in Bangkok ends well at least leads somewhere better emails than be there myself content with here now New York too something you can't stay in what's the point such choice things to do if doing you are one special dude

New Situation

history breathes a sigh of relief good riddance to Bush God help Obama is the obvious thing to say wait and see old age is waiting seeing what arises something always does new situation resolution opportunity occasions joy

True Wealth

stupid game never gets anywhere not like music can be anything you make it more alive than anyone once the notes are there meet at lyricism don't just saw through it doesn't carry water horses don't like cold would excuse himself and slip away think what you want to be is true wealth health easy to say but whom to dare be so open

Winter Visions

fields of play work for their living fenced weeded mowed instead of horses I see Grecian maidens in pearly chitons dance in sunlight dragging my feet I turn away go in it's winter visions of paradise arising images given all year long

Don't Laugh

what does she mean by falling on the floor the queen of spades is the day cursed don't laugh nothing funny anymore you never know ha ha the sun is shining our Stafford event went swimmingly we look forward to some improvement but the damage has been done the world is not a game of cards computer system God is not a novelist these agonies no plot think of something else if you possibly can

Extra Effort

not much to do about it attitude is all they say fog moss fungus letters falling below the line despite repeat hearing even knowing better another dry cookie hint recoils at extra effort everyone must change itself the sonata form grips life inauthentic so here goes nothing

Right?

what you mean is or originally was have I got this right? but what it is now is so you agree with me right? no time to answer which is bullying right? look you know right? O.K.?

Higher Culture

I didn't say anything about it at the time but these personal connections are all that counts passing phrases around or remarks for example looks matter but only what lies behind are not literature this is what made a difference to who we really are defining shared deliria if not why not we did and then it is over counted syllables anything to surprise ourselves freely creating higher culture no one explained is that all there was nothing to be said we were doing our work playing for kisses this well before heavy lifting viral doom the worst hit even the innocent illusion is betrayed

Quick Licks

huge silent roar in a painting wind a burning barn words are a curtain shattered falling shards forbidding open new mind what can be said unthought reapprehended quick licks before you know it's moist reading eats up time still whizzing space zooish possibilities uncaged unconnected only in your head

Many Parts

punctuated with hugs the days unroll like sentences of many parts meaning less and less hasn't it all be said how sad that Tom O'Horgan lives no more sweet creative years of thrills varying connectivities personal other theatre overlapping private pleasures freed by his singular vision thank you Tom

Fair Weather

sometimes you win if the game is easy enough or you're good or lucky or if the other players are no good or die before their turn or rules change favor you when you win enjoy it why not fair weather better than gloom behind clouds the moon wanes you are author actor audience critic can write yourself a rave

Exciting Leaps

fragments enough why pay more attention than it takes to vaguely get the gist pages lines missed barely ripple like exciting leaps the story goes on too fast follow what words missing if sweeping thinking of something else sorry what did you say forgot to listen

Small Satisfaction

as if the rest of the world as if no cause for sorrow but small satisfaction my soufflé perfect waning zip indifferent cooling cannot exist but does anyway stubborn cells go on dividing and the rest of it understood

Too Depressing

call me tiny but I am the whole universe and possibility of others spine down in yoga on the earth matter spinning among the stars history is too depressing noble Greeks won praise for mayhem sick pattern endlessly affirmed still what we take for granted can't I just skip the usual news rest my case retire all weapons as if real problems food water shelter health were not enough

Crossing the Bridge

he was there but not crossing the bridge with Henry Kissinger whom he despises more than anyone except maybe Omar al-Bashir after survival everything else able to touch able to be alone and think

Regular Day

what new anything Beethoven Sonatas each a history years of stumbles Brahms Intermezzos yield delicious secrets once again flawed seamed regular day itself relived negative could and will erupt meanwhile this no complaint just curious what trick of mind renews perception not exactly dulled but distance intervenes never going anywhere I haven't been before imagine limits as if anything but what there is can be known

Starting Early

Where's my notebook, key-tapping not the same, like transcribing my own dictation, tap flowing drop by drop. Let it run (I can't stop it) or my pipes will freeze, head explode. The flute is not lonely. Pen draws each word as person draws day, starting early, ending late. Notebook lives here too. Let it sleep and write on the web.

Busy Drops

if only the weather meant something or opera for that matter "Hoffmann" too silly to sit through for its music this rain might tell me what to do but it doesn't matter can be anything you can make it fly swim run simply breathe the air between busy drops

Not Enough

the week fills up it doesn't take much an airport run pot luck poetry meeting tune-up with Dr. Chris regular swims writing pressure's off I'm glad to read shedding subscriptions no end books as if that were not enough I think of something else then something else Voice history my lack of enterprise so much unwritten pressure ready when you are meanwhile coast relax enjoy

First Read

pages turn I remain apparently calm first read first hurdle is it something nothing matters more beautiful acts bring pleasure later others involved actions follow busy months excuse another year self-studying decorate my œuvre late play just lightens the day bright reason to be entertained

Tender Talk

am I missing something we just have to wait see what happens a Bullard cookie saves new year river rising rain stopped annual party come gone friends enjoy each other tender talk keep us safe