Basic Never

more and more what horizon passed as I napped reading "Homo Faber" reading radical theatre history drum beats an interrupted conversation this lameness distracting wait for the election whether to be hopeful or continue dismayed unworkable basic never compromise too soon tires on pavement unchosen music waiting for buzz mourning Robert Patrick's Caffè Cino picture pages terminated by Yahoo a major loss

Too Early

weird creepy dreams waylay me a thin lumpy aquarium globe a dead fish dirty water who needs these aimless firings nonsense draped in feelings of distress so pleasant to drift off then wham too early for me to sleep I'm up again shawled eating an apple with a little cheese feel better

Big Enough

inevitable loose ends smooth move Ex-Lax familiar frustrations rhymes with orange apple butter or pies forgotten melodies like frozen dreams call you once more wishing to go back unaged and undead we are all here now solitary teammates constructing story big enough to love

How Few

Everything Sumerian has writing on it, words, names, names of things, stabs at catching the moment in short sharp gouges, substantiated now in one small glass-fronted wall case, marked stone. Decipher my meaning, the inexpressible fog. A fog of words parting for glimpses of sublime intention. How few remain after 4,000 years. Men don't wear shorts in Malaga.

Reach Out

further revisions for the second edition seemingly infinite detail outpaces mind yet yields to attention with certain view points made in passing added to score bells buzzers flashing lights yell TILT! I didn't touch it silly to think it works quickly recovered every element has function tomorrow reach out expose myself bonus warmth and sunshine

Remembering Arthur

Join in mourning Arthur Sainer, a close colleague of mine at The Village Voice for an extraordinary decade. Writing about theatre in New York was a privilege and an amazing adventure in the early sixties, when Off-Off-Broadway was being born; it became increasingly problematic in the seventies, as the first revolutionary burst of energy dissipated and the way ahead became more obscure. Arthur (like me) was not only a critic but an all-round man of the theatre, writing plays, running a theatre, putting himself on the line. He never won the appreciation he deserved, but I don't think he expected to. Although he was a quiet, rather mild presence, with a wry, dry sense of humor, his convictions burned fiercely bright. His invaluable "Radical Theatre Notebook," written in 1974 and updated in 1979, is a gold mine of history and inspiration from that important era, from which the best impulses continue to resonate despite the distractions of commercialism and hype. Arthur insisted on standing forth for truth and justice, asserting a politics of theatre that America noticeably did not take to; it was a fight worth fighting, and there was joy in the struggle. He was a man I am glad to remember. Let us keep him in our hearts.

Not Moving

apples do not move any artist can look till reason revolts never to see enough yellow spotted lumpy not very appetizing apples keep arriving what action implied eat a few sauce 'em bake a brown betty serve it with cream watch them sit there not moving

Rough Treatment

new windows will open to summer air lap desk allows circulation steadiness viral cough empty bed room disarray nothing too disturbing to inner calm Shakespeare stands rough treatment students best approximate buoyant satisfaction lovers united confusion dispelled who can possibly complain thus my day goes on for many hours as if endless or everything fitting in accounts for positive feeling steals over well-run automatic procedure

All It Takes

can I stop performing myself for a moment just be stop to notice reality gridded myself consisting of one thing after another do this then that represent myself demonstrating exemplary actions hesitate in between what is is being myself imagine myself why it's called acting allow emerge is all it takes

Lying Down

someone today is anyone in the same place or between places bumpy air now smooth Rembrandt again Morandi Breughel I know from another time and person lying down completed plan leaves no new impression there again myself among sterling friends

The Only Obstacle

Judith says the mission of the Living Theatre poetic philosophical political equally at once is to make people feel they can struggle for what they really want what everybody wants without compromise make it seem possible every play different always the same subject strengthen the feeling of creative possibility we are utopian idealists we may not see the beautiful nonviolent anarchist revolution but every step in that direction is worthwhile we go as far as we can the only obstacle is $$$

Smooth Working

clashing worlds northern Berkshires woods Eighth Avenue 49th to 43rd transition thru varied highways dinner Lewis Alice Hurley how human handle being there then here so planned whirl New England friends and family exactly executed Saturn $227.85 who cannot be impressed smooth working cabin intact after ten years absent mouse mess quickly swept away objects put back where they belong pendulum reactivated fire up the stove and be there a morning now it's night I'm tired five hours driving food for thought and heart much needed asking what to do with it when I am able

Still There

past is not past is timeless place still there when I am not always remembering new buildings forward old remain a Stonington walk cold sea wind warm friends foliage past climax north still glorious familiar road hours into higher beauty Zen walk in clean woods open easy pick up sticks fast dinner and off we go play fun deep wisdom dark drive back alone stars quiet empty house

Happy Times

you is just the opposite of me same humanness no compare messy neat too much concise abundant pinched who knew you felt that way our blood's connected language familiar referents acceptance blinded personas dictate our choices each generous expressive gift of grace amazing Dan Marya cough stress Ginny outliving Dot says happy times ahead

Better Way

walk home from Madison Square an hour's immersion city sidewalks empty crowds up Broadway unto 42nd Anne's colors change people many colors hustle avid for action day two began Fifth Avenue Central Park rich live luxury above it all Frick mansion shares Rembrandt himself giving himself this simple sharing self the highest art minds meet Jimmy over lunch chez Home about his book what story how organize after nap another book arises over dinner never know a better way to be fully alive

For Once

zigzagged all over Patti Sam the New Museum Living Theatre whew too much but how great intention realized although Patti couldn't find Johnny's collages in her storage locker which we searched at first I wasn't sure I could walk such treats not to betray personal the public grand enough Elizabeth Peyton will have guys in lipstick her portraits pretty and romantic what she can do with paint wow and Judith's "Eureka" is a gem the new sincere idealism flourishing audience participation works for once held hands danced with strangers sang along with Poe and Humboldt saving universe

Deeply Bogus

my favorite restaurant Florent is gone what the point of coming to New York where did he go back to France says a Chinese coming up from the basement in the dark with lots of money reopens tomorrow with the same menu he said but I am hungry now came 3,000 miles anyway I liked the man the clientele all dead he was the first the neighborhood not what it was different deeply bogus

All Ready

moon bright busyness preceding separation the new bed desk succeed in puzzling leave everything neat whether programmed or my own expression any sensible person would pretext may not hold no matter I contrived much else to justify if asked I'll ask myself surely something will arise not just staring into space can't think except when writing well that is hardly true who is the thinker afterwards it's there all ready for the firing this the subject this the line divides before from after the fingers and eyes have healed

Naive Music

countdown concentrates or is it scatters attention bank holiday terminal natation contact high naive music eleven tons hay cold frame ready follow dream resultant this is nothing compared to actual ideas in action Mill was right Columbus wrong Vita real chicken overcooked and then a movie allergies misleading apple sweet

Choose Real

more is not enough anyway slip easily into less decision made for us no more Times one example plenty clothes library garden chores hardly onerous driving new tractor automatic extend path loop choose real long last health hold blessed as if virtuous

Group Hug

"Eureka" is a mix of science class, happening, utopian dream and group hug says Times I can hardly wait hurry time forward says who will go with me after all file cleanup Donald Lehmkuhl who else rediscovered quantum possibilities cell receptors "addiction" red herring gardening better DIY tree surgery cheering potatoes jerusalem artichokes beets brussels sprouts good eating promises longer sweeter life in love and art

Paean for Bruce Daniels

by Kirby Doyle (1964) This isn't the real air. The real air will come. It remains to be seen remaining, forever remaining seen, remaining forever a sort of ether, a sort of death— the real silence remaining air, the real air remaining to be seen remaining real air here to be seen.

Almost Enough

disappearing money where did it go nothing different except the future might as well have spent more free changes exhilarate instability key to pattern formation warmth house food from garden social security is almost enough no sense buying any more stuff stay home mend clothes help on heavy chores borrow books

What Then

if I catch a cold what then grin and bear it drug the symptoms if I'm not well by the time I go can't let it slow me down nothing else matters poetry meeting runs itself plays skippable relax keep warm drink liquids rest

More Sense

seriously taken how can ridiculous fools see self image costumed posing flannel pajamas Iranian uniform helmet rocket launcher others having fun makes more sense work done somewhere if not what who minds

Both Lose

teeth cleaned hair cut plans made so it goes on without appeals sympathy a certain straightforwardness earned surely Vita not that awful lugubrious inarticulate a BBC embarrassment if places real what were they really like reupholstered chairs return calls are business maintenance rarely persons format suckers candidates both lose as if waiting disaster deepens when will it all be over one's readiness not inexhaustible like secondhand death

Art Fun

sensuous figs gushy ripe from the tree complement Schumann nourish courage reach out unfearing no can't hurt me no yes appears without regret substitution often improves relax enjoy hang loose portfolios in the basement start being careful never was too stupid splurged on doing plays by choice not expecting profit art for art fun best way go nuts keep shirt mind master its own reward

Paint Fumes

old enough to dream as if awake pillow talk with Lightning Source wrench myself up resume the day raining driving seeing "Dead Funny" thanks Third Rail Wagner marathon traffic doesn't matter I'm immune messages mangle plan scramble somewhere to stay New York I'll manage somehow one always does anyone understand or care what dust hammering paint fumes I do more than enough to go right on

Grand Duo

spent on Schubert and a party fifteen plus us potluck bounty side by side with Christopher Wicks played the Grand Duo after supper before dessert flubbed notes hardly dented joy and what a genius piece to catalyze a civilized soirée everybody evidently thrilled applause bows lively talking a birthday present to myself pleasure ratified by sharing

What Counts

memory blues purging files lost decades forgotten doings loves fond affirmations poorly valued smack myself unworthy wretch rise early learn late what counts the genuine irony cheaply earned not a novel after all real deaths and other suffering more movie feeling fades before it does me in thanks for that anyway a box of trash my reward room for taxes

Odd Match

garden bounty overwhelming grapes tomatoes we cannot eat all delicious too much then rain cold nothing we preserve some give away despair of keeping up red raspberries zucchini potatoes one or two small per week mint jelly anticipates spring lambs more gardens feed families directly eight rooms two people odd match last scattering foretells chill winds

One Person

rabbit for every one person I know including horses cats October change of sound air clear expanse to winter far dark dominates a while the pressure eases to be happy each concerned engaged in choosing pick up let them lie still ready cede control combine initial impulse honest willingness is all I have to offer blessing hearts together