Very Soon

let time stop don't do anything enjoy something sure to happen very soon everything go right on the way it does

Still Pleased

spinning energy realized events of the next few days cakes peaches book table easily organized and then it will be over are we ready is a new computer any help new gutter new horse still acting up summer is my threshold swatting flies trying to help a bird panicked in my studio where did it go weeping willow in my face tai chi amateur still pleased

Change Itself

past is what we knew then not what actually happened idly correcting memory is useless too late to matter to clarify can be amusing still wonder who did what with whom and how can I have missed it at the time weather endlessly repeats like money flowing worry or not smug somehow we enjoy or not change itself

Lose-Lose

tai chi time too talk demonstrate defense let's do it interested policeman shot Irish psychotic justified nothing clear lose-lose compassion I'll try old folks housing another teacher Wednesdays five bog wa step hurts my hips don't turn that far anymore

Inner Voice

"Hair" rained out in Central Park pathetic fallacy too delicious give it up for Tom where does that tacky expression come out like an inner voice in Rachmaninoff emotive key that something else going on how much primary coherence need the harmonies lead yes hunger senses familiar right wrong moralities of form go forth siblings before breakfast good granola berries choice of cereal tells all

Why Else

every little mark has its meaning mean it or not accidental period indelible sign of moving thought I write on paper type on nothing present just present print it out for posterity who can believe in span reduced as if anyone cares the way I care now why else do

Dirty Snow

two hundred miles radical topography altitude return intention enacted otherwise unchanged the whole story as simple as driving into space to float in murk see grungy world up there too Hood the mountain in the way the way around horrific struggles now air-conditioned zoom still vibrates with the agony no kidding zonks enjoyers eating snapping boarding dirty snow

First Time

I gave the downbeat and nothing happened. It was my first time conducting the New York Philharmonic and so far the concert had been going well, but the Stravinsky wouldn't start. I could hear it in my head. What was I doing wrong? The musicians looked at me blankly. Did I have the tempo wrong? I gave them a measure. Was it in three? I spoke to the concertmaster. It's just a technical problem, I said. What is the trick? Let me see your score. His score was not the music but many pages of handwritten words. None of the eight musicians had a score. Ah, you've played it before, you know it. Just play it then. The audience wants to hear it. I was reduced to pleading. They didn't even pick up their instruments. One of them, an oboist, was standing in their midst with a strange expression. Something is happening, he said. I can't see.

Like Me

poor Keats thought he had failed though he knew the poems were perfect he was dying just like me like you don't worry it is natural this is Stafford's position music is built in complexity inherited with lingo suitable as sunrise a naturally occurring occasion think what you will my painter friends keep on painting keep showing what you've done the day of reckoning never comes

Rather Damp

give me Lytton Strachey and the early Bloomsbury crowd though Lytton himself seemed rather damp apart from prose style did he say penis or Virginia they had such lively times why the beard Judith Malina's father had a beard so she likes hair on a man's face feels far away and hidden wry observer then pounce what can you do it is terribly embarrassing beyond all that I miss imaginary projects take me to the city unpredictable interactions result in creation "Eureka" I may get to see it not do lights matrimonially prior committed

Guarding Catch

if you wait long enough something will happen the cat gets in war starts ailing you usually recover the season changes quick time penetrates illusory stasis I send the letter make the call another day older understand more less vividly solution inside problem neither exists only flux crystallized variable repeats invisible development guarding catch

Every Day

nothing is not practice buds dropping off the growing tip the glow vanishes when approached then appears elsewhere you have to look you have to be there do that movement with the others or by yourself before breakfast they are still asleep listen closely close attention key to broad sweep augustinian balance in the moment passing step then transfer weight never falling love is falling toward another person or idea like beauty passion impetuosity controlled by grace almost every day

No Other

"Certainly, in recent years, we, the populace, have been stunned with fear and shame by events in which we have had, however unwillingly, a hand, and this fear and shame seem to have taken a great toll on our composure, our ability to look at what is in front of our eyes." (Deborah Eisenberg in NYRB) who are these trees why don't I know anything obvious not to be trusted with my full weight measured against Péter Nádas Tom Stoppard no fools they know trees lived through history lesson drowsy after breakfast go to work my darling even dream-addled you can pay attention like no other

Not Normal

serious problems are elsewhere no dictator reign of terror here now barbarian hordes armies rebels trashing our lives secret police dread if we're lucky it's not normal peace exceptional my subject trivial true for few

All Caring

full moon set orange as I rise faithful early writer consider cruel history chance chosen according to birth time place water browning lawn perfect summer sequencing satirical fortune fragile tough talking words wing glad bloom bird what conclude this outcome personal mockery all caring equal surely smug shattered irony rewards none's virtue

Comfort Water

action produces progress necessary making moves yes I can enough energy thanks aerobics vitamins inner fire comfort water paradoxical combination now I wait do more take aim living land courage fills vacuum two years' firewood budget plumb sink leaks berries post cards calibrating party

Who Then

you have to half wake up align dream drama fresh less restful writing time prepares the day ahead coffee relative silences let words do meanings preheat oven blend all ingredients it happens anything but yourself the inevitable subject who then will forgive my committed erring

Smooth Rolling

suddenly rising water we should leave what with nothing why not distressed it doesn't show old people listening to Haydn Bartok Beethoven late attentive inner turmoil deserved cheers express aligned smooth rolling straight ahead

Driving Around

map study nowhere appeals imagining northern Cascades past Seattle traffic road trip needs a destination not just driving around admiring fine scenery blind canyon bottom highway creepy campers irritating roadside tackiness overpriced motel nasty food impulse as easily abandoned day trip enough

Other Cherries

drastically pruned the Rainier cherry gasped one year now spectacularly abundant creamy blushing red dense bunches amid deep green strawberries over raspberries behind bushes of blues hung heavy berries large and small whitish green powdery pale blue to midnight blueberry pancakes blueberries my granola plain yoghurt wholesome unbelievably tasty other trees scattered around other cherries

Eat Pie

little girls frolic with Chinese parasols in the twilight on the lawn beyond graceful they are playing-spirits of purity gracing us elder performing their perfect selves perfectly meanwhile three bats dash flapping zigzags over the field silhouetted against the sky vanishing against the circling trees they see me watching one flashes close tune harpsichord play Händel wash dishes eat pie

Mexican Feast

more spacious rhythm children playing remember play parents floating through the day exercises county fair sheep wrestling pig steering rides grandparents bailed presence absent until dinnertime Mexican feast actual mole poblano from Oaxaca Sidney's guacamole pico de gallo my tadziki (?) rice melange fresh tortillas beyond delish drifting around in the gloaming picking berries watering walk by the creek reading in the living room

Tech Support

all day with tech support I arrive frazzled by the VR labyrinth you have to go through first Verizon is the worst pitches online help when you can't get online that's why you're calling they won't be provoked the second time thru I lost it spiced tirade with vulgarity ("bullshit") after a pause he said, "I didn't hear what you said" and "If you don't want to do what I say I can't help you" I calmed he fixed it but only temporarily patient Netgear people in India eventually decided it's a "hardware problem" sending new wireless router exactly the same

Then Go

unsendable disconnected an image of pitiful isolation in the midst of plenty people come and go talking of gas prices real estate Spain calling been there done that northern mountains calling new tires open road after visitation after work a week of application then go

Bath Time

I love summer in spite of sneezes possibly moderated by herbs & C long days visitors wandering in & out until 9 then bath time horses like people clean Gabrielle turns out to be a natural Phoebe normally shy comes forth to meet us Genevieve patient play cat legos pick blueberries all easy thank you summer

Weed Free

Obama is a Marxist says Rick between iterations of the form I mildly demur you haven't read Marx he says and it's true I bet he has his wild associations punctuate our moves grass cut short bird swooping close flower beds weed free think weight shift down ground a meticulous technology think energy stolen wedding cake Times Square in the dark how to concentrate fog

Too Full

writing easier than reading we're holding our breath before the onslaught various diversions half-planned my mother overprogrammed my visits otherwise nothing happens home truth launches picnics theme park waterfall county fair I should buy a sticker breeze right in car too full no room for me I'd go if I could good driver company

That Fast

I'd rather wear linen but it has to be ironed in New York I took everything to the Chinese man and wife in their homey smelling half- basement around the corner on 4th Street opium not unlikely those days now distant innocence imagining worldliness and how Mahler Verdi Wagner Callas Olivier O'Hara to live breaking back still think that fast

Summer Days

strawberry shortcake made by me last best Totem dark red juicy ripe to celebrate our sixth Fourth here sitting on the verandah with Tom listen to birdsong admire the view holiday stop notice you're happy don't stop keep on keeping on the weeds don't stop peas blueberries need picking everything watering electric fence shockingly strong nothing lasts but long summer days can seem to go on forever

Go Wild

better putter than flicker indoors tie up eucalyptus bachelor's button beach holly water this 'n' that better remember memorable fireworks past than brave traffic crowds our favorite field waist high in sticker grass nose itches at the thought I'd itch all over back to the garden today growing various looking good hot sun soundcheck first arrivals spreading blankets on the grass any other satisfying how about Weekapaug in the fog or Gay Pride night in the Village sitting edge above the river with Alfred can't beat those I want them choreographed more formal structure make us go wild

Right Idea

imagine laughing with nary a care dread self-conscious cheerfulness locks real feeling outweighs hilarity meets actual heedless youth has the right idea

Another Country

too late for Iran one can only hope Iraq is grief enough to turn around another country wrecked again who can brake our descent human living struggles on no alternative no hope except grace can't protect from evil far distant this how matters where you are I want to know to be there with you metaphysically be spared actual agony loss everything loved