Eternal Tear

not done doing France at length fluent in Italian fast cars good food vintage Chris-Craft private lake done dreaming in ads whole world before and after me I believe in Jorie Graham wish I could indent lines deregulate my units as in ordinary life I syncopate that we are doing the same thing same concerned less serious I shrug into whimsy try for light lazy classical reference unspoke eternal tear 'tween kindredest spirits never understand other only open recognition expression little earned our triple grief unfurls

Universal Spin

horse reversal unexpected unfolding how things happen if they do a wordless beat gimme a whole day unmarked bad news housework gardening abstemious eating tedious agent search rethink approach screenplay fodder needs universal spin general prefer genre not everything has rational cop-out rewrite different is that what want should reform to that matrix?

Grow Up

"Ken Park" overdubbed in Russian only plays on my computer crazy not to be able to get it in English powerful movie beautifully made touching characters finely acted so there is sex in it no hold back truer than "Weeds" must be class come on Netflix be brave grow up

Soft Cars

horse women off early shocking emptiness reeling Afghan echoes comedy back to bed happy visit plan party Vere July peach cake twiddle second visitor venting encouraged indescribable afternoon jump car city mix no dancing Beeethoven salad tulip perfect twilit espresso cafe park ballet company dubious $20 home ferry first blueberries nature here blurred ragged edges no grid trees hills clouds soft surface shimmies shiny white Kaiser Permanente box hard vehicles roll slow close following covers road hard scratch down landscape ruled emphatic lines dotted solid yellow white shape our way couldn't we have soft cars slide lightly through slow silent blurred

Second Class

short absence elaborate preparation inevitably then you are gone nothing forgotten coming weekend to be hot fans ready bear heat better than cold second class in marketing books the secret of success is keeping on send off ten packages a week they like my pitch heartening haven't read a word

Sad Shoes

Powell's not unreceptive transportation to or from twilight scenes for hours sneezing episode passes that's amazing consider grasses mowed calculate Boise Salt Lake Taos gas two hours Iran sad shoes Berlioz Debussy dieting that or larger pants ten pounds feel good about shape will self-control

Parallel World

random pattern who not me apparently Wimbledon begins early wills in action Schubert knows exactly what he's doing mind speed fingers make a little music fun drive Steve's Miata road too straight nap parallel world disconcerts return cucumber yogurt garlic dill what called stew enhanced upstages chilly chicken Jeff shows weight shift power throws DJ Utah Julian's favorite rocks quick home

True Vibe

new sound nothing better close comfort leads to another season time for further express emotions sensing herbal option detox added nutrient ear worm presses evenness recovered history personalist destiny changing major excuses mostly forgotten dream real day-trash deposit within states border separates true vibe

Strawberry Shortcake

I'm sneezing I'm blowing my nose my eyes are watering I am reading George Saunders and laughing waves of allergy symptoms overwhelm me I have to leave the room I take a pill I sound like a large dog barking is it from picking asparagus in the weed-choked field is it from playing ping-pong in the dusty garage is it from strawberry shortcake shall I seal up the house ah-choo! my eyes are stinging, burning I put in eye drops it helps for a minute I am sniffing, gasping swollen passages, swollen brain I used to have hay fever in the fall what has changed

The Greatest

Did I mention that "Jesse & Elvis" is now out? At Silver Falls I showed them how to stare at falling water, shift eyes to rock face, which squirms unsettlingly. South Falls was exceptionally robust. We walked behind it, admiring the spectacle, photographing each other. Hinrich's sunglasses fell off down the precipice into the wildflowers and ferns. Laurel was afraid Louisa would fall if she tried to retrieve them. Julian could have reached them, clinging to the railing, but Hinrich said he didn't want them. Julian thought he didn't want flowers. Pleasures of fatherhood are the greatest, my pong shots still working, learning modern media.

Amended Return

I finished "Whiteman," another terrific book by Tony D'Souza. What a good writer—I want to know him! I went to see my tax accountant about an erroneous decision (mine) that cost me thousands; she agreed; we will file an amended return. I was fatalistic, prepared to eat it, but I don't have to! More windows are sparkling, as was the pool today. Exposure to sunlight has starting giving me a rash so I wore a hat and dark glasses for the exercises part of my swim. Julian called from Yreka: will arrive tonight; I am staying up, if I can. I tidied and swept the garage so we can play ping-pong. Active is better than passive.

Wishful Dreams

chasing moles with buzzing spikes drive them away "go, mole, back to the viga" plus Tibetan monks chant not the right word but it worked in Taos dirt piles popping up on lawn I care less but still keep after them up five anyway Ichiguro interview envy real career intelligence might have been another person writing better harder deeper chosen path committed fortune smiling friend instead unserious wishful dreams

"Grand Duo"

fun playing Schubert "Grand Duo" with Christopher get brain up to speed pingpong ahead with Julian if my hips can take it last time quickly lame clean barn clean bathroom clean windows brightens house beer with guys after tai chi who am I doing anything helps

Nothing Else

gallery sitting four hours flowers in paint wood pottery reading "Whiteman" dizzy juxtaposition strawberry festival in park long lines incomparable weather finally home wash windows always worthwhile eyes watering needed everything I do sneezes louder than mower seasonal allergy price of country living summer shoes my lovely linen J. Crew shirt I love linen wish to wear nothing else

Plenty Grief

wonderful couple every man deserves love partner can't imagine want alone what point all I wish is happiness for any choice good fortune plenty grief "Taxi Driver" sweetness my New York flavor stretching not to be trusted we see coming brilliance perfect formed asparagus field abandoned to weeds varied neighbors you cannot explain still hungry anticipate inevitable diet

Handy Reading

books bedside like food cans on dining table staging areas Proust Parfit Gaddis D'Souza Montaigne handy reading chair need play that makes me laugh why else bother something do barely adequate excuse order N. F. Simpson hope for guffaw crank windows mail books pull grass weeds cut hand skin like paper barrow heaps consume Betty Yeti strawberries yum

All Right

too much nothing focus Mongolia Turkey Miami words ruin one's thoughts on top of broader fiasco but selenicereus bloomed song healed camel mother Alfred farce collected rave Julian will visit next week it looks like I'll be all right

Blessed Surprise

if I follow instructions will I be rewarded is it too late to correct my contrary ways reinventing the world (theatre literature) hasn't exactly worked well no complaints I chose life and this is it blessed surprise writers want validation published read it all begins again satisfaction wants more

Still Hungry

record cold June snow elsewhere blazing internet makes world all one place weather though local at least regional where here country city children students grownups old differences assert experience lessons learned forgotten saw Jimi Janice Rolling Thunder Olivier sat with Suzuki Trungpa less critical still hungry always satisfied

Five Hours

try keep busy after iris warming producer makes himself star no wonder appeal if most articulate five hours suffices for the night might try again if warm enough rise on extended hips once more substitute leader proven willing sincerity tatters insulation fixed predates unambiguous warning

Yellow Poppies

Roger missed too much Rafa even better long-running Paris drama one must lose antivegan breakfast over Times an ideal day for change mow everything while can lunch nap ambushed only way out wake new slowness reveals present avalanche sweep studio play Handel read economics pull stray grass brush off the dirty house yellow poppies cinnamon toast where am I now realize who is and isn't here at last

Good People

smarter after party Alexie's graduation hold hands to pray food vegan organic intensest chocolate singing show tunes appear to strangers smiling as oneself good people home

Bad Policy

more rain chill wind I don't even want to go outside much less swim work tennis fills wretched morning cold windy in Paris too much for June drought oil up news bad policy candidates exhausted changes always like this Obama future well

Funky Charm

repeat after me for a million dollars not very much these days can you live on it tiny townhouse units along the street each with its narrow garden some can build on theirs a long balcony overlooking the common space no Turtle Bay talk about moving in with horses forgotten shoulder bag cutting miters in the moldings radiator too far from the wall some funky charm not for us

Live or Die

dead branches removed big walnut tree in our back yard is open airy will it recover shocked four years afterward by the brutal cutting of roots and limbs for a drain field had to be right there the creek the well will it live or die books arrive Vere and Kelley arrive from Mexico I open the Seghesio Zinfandel we toast the book Kelley's return to poetry familiar skittering jollity warmth good willing have fun interrupt strict march rhythm section swings

Other Trees

dubious angel so cleanly played as reminder watch out the devil lurks in the seemingly innocent familiar faces not guaranteed benevolent century maple down quickly deep rotted ready fall swim climb rain ladder top of truck long chainsaw modest bites careful steady work developing forest different story next people start with other trees

Don't Fall

now on Amazon "Jesse & Elvis" Vere McCarty wherever you are whatever city messages you free again to consider ambition but there it is back pat scratch oh wow that feels good don't stop second act just beginning no beverages in seats internal reflections like final curtain difficult ballet passages Brahmsian density same thing but more romantic conversation overheard push to transfer weight don't fall

Do Less

eliminate antenna distracted wireless better do less mourn Father Virgil willing body played Padre Serra no one ever intimidated gentle scholar gave himself who spirit here invisible awareness awaiting savior practicing Schumann helps desert island fantasies return Beethoven sonatas still my only good choice