Thin Ice

leap day leap free sticky dream baby my back appear as writer drive off into snowy mountains patches clearcut reverse course before disaster house unbuilt thin ice we're on never forget

Low Taste

the day supercharged with anticipation of the evening the evening illuminated by the impressions of the day imagine life eternal city earlier century more civilized ceremony suffused with art sociability of rich address hard work fierce will publicly relax display abundance inquire absorb reconstruct history meaning now write dirges again civilization falls no new monuments later loved aspiration coopted waste lazy thinking low taste

Easy Season

Fast Books assumed business name weird reluctance every step sticky slow Soren Agenoux remembered old friend motels appreciating human comedy backache in sympathy Henry James wishing I could walk with him London Buckley also harpsichord connection Valenti patron favored legalizing pot later light daffodils open moonroof easy season hope revives favorites

Fresh Ingredients

am I brave or only lonesome invented life showing its age choices conspire to congeal few fresh ingredients winter stiffness limits home outing little wonder past overbears new content needs imagine what difference still wanted

Energy Fix

Dorothy Podber timeless evil witch expired amazing longevity consider notorious drug mix mean flair lost friends' nemesis outlived them all surviving memory overlaps future forward strike relaxed power wins meditating breath turn inside out dizzy demonstrations energy fix emerge practice bio Henry James counterpoise my possessive envy

Natural Law

same repertoire of moves over and over again once chosen human life whole pitiless natural law allow frivolous pleasure-loving realness equally illusion simple gestures romantic reprieve every warm day one less wretched winter

Better Food

sorting photographs revisit lost time mislaid memories mysterious patterns apparently random spontaneous daily monthly yearly see Mother sadly aging myself older than I ever knew become another reality of small-town restaurants better food at home I gladly cook earnest hard work invisible excellence imagining Europe anywhere better far deeper past present art sounding English Italian French therefore consider emergent plan like gelatin chilled imagine other ways here being generous comfort like truth revealed mortal like given self remembered evidence in albums none else will recognize

Still Here

lost New York still here shames not what I want but who I am quieter nights home movies greatest books at one remove this my coign of vantage no one else ready to play myself

Sad Waste

holding back much more capacity untapped useless disconnect careless careful not too emphatic dismay offend where flow falters carpe diem all said done deal breaker what speck swat tenuous existence in this group me culture niche denies vulgar satisfaction excuse frankness prefer the highest quality music art ideas can't miss common escape suburbia trashed vistas blatant junk lives ruined Spanish tragedy further sad waste

Why Orange?

eclipsed moon shows earth round once you get the picture no other explanation fits clearly shadowed but why the orange glow the fuzz on the ball backlit our atmosphere so thin and why orange too bright starlight mysterious enchanted orb

More Than Two

shared values (virtues) trumps lifestyle personal second-hand funkiness phase wealth class taste metabolism luck of health history not on my side there are more than two how possibly pierce my slick hospitality a play a scene a setting meditate together hundreds thousands bowing same way how else meet this is America we are who we are why are they not like me swim in clothes shoes groups frighten solitary what do they talk about as if talking the point of anything how to know any medium of connection superficial even so I am drawn casual amiable worshiping outside

Great Life

sun words I need a brighter screen more money name flowers characters formal rooms hierarchic behaviors morning movies other taboos fearfully defied consequences isolation irrelevance neglect who might you be if you could plan ahead reverse engineer this path get there from here but you only think of it later look the other way someone you like great life wife children interesting occupation

New Determination

Ralph Ellison "would not resign his vocation as an artist, and he would not give in to what he saw as the lunacy of the age." new determination for all humankind how to reconcile the local with the universal ditto personal historical political cataclysm reality romance mortality eternal present plenty to think about "Say no more, Jeeves. Love is dead."

Being Writer

she likes it nothing else matters being writer living with each effusion everything at stake once again not just one more the only huge relief I knew good idea done

Macro Changes

outdoor lights flash on invisible deer cats under radar mere wind couldn't night transfigured heads transposed passage of pages please stop talking I don't mean you radio friends play Mozart piano I may have worked on ferocious application can't keep up no help assistant real organization it is what it is destroys meaningful gesture macro changes dwarf lives

Silk Sash

my romantic streak like a diplomat's silk sash red wide with a sunburst rosette at breakfast a present her special chicken dinner ice cream Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone the same actor who's heroic now opposition only possibility inspiration hovers out of reach rescue remote reality not here now warm fed well connected

Straight Ahead

draw line sing melody walk straight ahead in sync with golden mean read one eye focused code familiar content too this to be the other silence inside music repent forget who you are lenten sacrifices not someone else at fault mine to enjoy before further future is this clear I tried intuition forbidden true cinematic form

A Gray Wig

if I could hesitate if I could spin faster who stood at the extreme back corner of his class as if playing Beethoven or Bach counted more than a gray wig if I could catch up with my queue my good friend mentor teacher who later suicided these might match photos of good years together to useless memories the uncorrected present wiser faces marked with genuine experience then scrambled forward in the nick of time

Right Moves

I could read Urban Dictionary all night mindless to the world newbie dweeb teabag you name it like a tarantella from the streets of Sicily a month in Europe includes a friendly hug and snuggle accepting depressing limitations frees natural energy from hips enclosed flame hotter like warm ice cream on balloon tires neither of us wants to quit expecting fun a positive unfolding like nuts falling from trees accept accept right moves prevail

Rare Treat

motions gone through qualify isolation illusory may interfere read "The Difference Engine" play Debussy Chopin nocturnes hardly empty imaginary friends love comfort amenities myself choose string quartet writing practical medium rare treat

By Myself

strip off my "democratic and idealistic clothes" what find a wedding still sentimental two men guests miscellaneous I am alone today but as much married heartfelt touching can we vote to reclaim people power who is that exactly what actually happens champagne cake dinner by myself

Pure Art

What I am reading engages but does not hold me even when of the highest import viz. Tony Judt's essay on evil in NYRB: "We are losing the capacity to distinguish between the normal sins and follies of mankind—stupidity, prejudice, opportunism, demagogy, and fanaticism—and genuine evil." I walk away. Schnabel "Diving Bell" beautiful moving worked story persons themselves into pure art. The aesthetic pleasure worth driving hours rain drizzly traffic dark. And return. LNG terminals pipelines. The list incomplete. Cruelty, laziness, cowardice, greed.

My Work

I don't want to work today I mean "my" work no one is paying me what is real about it my overarching aim it's just a mood aching tired after a long meeting volunteer work and friends I've been working every afternoon an hour or two before dinner I can take a day off I need it deserve it practice tai chi breathing

River Rising

fierce roaring wind in the trees or river rising when do we flee jammed roads south from Paris strafing planes immediate relief nowhere to go one atmosphere save animals then each other

Concert Review

Hungarian conductor Russian pianist new American old German music Salem Adams Chamber Symphony smiles beauty up-to-now aesthetic terrific virtuosity joy Beethoven 2nd (first) Concerto Kirill Gerstein big match Steinway immaculate clarity first movement a little slow not the best Beethoven Schumann 4th (first, revised) strange shapes sonorities endless ideas Gregory Vajda leaping podium believes in it fully Oregon Symphony plays great!

Great Fun

old man crossing the road with his groceries great fun thanks Jim Bidgood nude scenes no more I don't do it anymore either those were days of nights new and different every time change so slow never happens present retro taste ironic implied significance unspoken cool currency another country pinned tongue misunderstood by then time you went home

Major Funding

Beckett belongs in the theatre. Fassbinder embraced film long takes "Petra von Kant" angles framing artful hateful characters. More Mozart! Closeup of fingers tying knots: what they do without thought quicker eye follow. Major funding, etc. Aspirin speaks.

Stay Warm

recycling post office bank home that's the day "Die Walküre" new notebook old turning point steak lima beans avocado "Endgame" Chopin richness of nothing special effect extra fresh repetition my French ideal enumerate missing parts wasted potential stay warm await spring

Familiar Streets

vaccinations lockjaw whooping cough pneumococcal pneumonia shingles another day heart aslant cholesterol fair prostate small PSA low hearing not bad high arched palate no cause for alarm I cook I write I space out in the mall looking for no longer existing everything costs $55 smoothly misnavigate familiar streets still time for work serious conversation laughs entertaining friends