Dog Heaven

not rainbow country not like New Mexico but still the evening light bathing hillside over tennis game sky sunset lights take over youngsters lose badly beach dog heaven not for me I'd like a personal cat but no way compete with barn community animals have their way I'm not very interested they're dumb ad in mailers etc. lost without rehearsal but Laurel needs day off Susan away I too Djokovic Stepanek have more fun but Santa Barbara isn't far behind

Less Mine

no solitaire here I'm too busy being real design the lights keep everyone in motion time flies beyond thought or fantasy no rewriting realize what is where now practicing make better nurture its life and give it away it's less mine already but entirely what I chose and want anticipated gifts more precious little known will be revealed a special form of patience

No Tricks

if only words meant anything I'd be widely appreciated not a genius no Gertrude Stein I could be anyone I could have anyone as long wanted will you play no tricks only intuit allow arise anyone can follow will you dance Little Miss Bossy quite delightful who has time to enjoy

Baby Oil

another brilliant blue morning pigs gone Santa Cruz recovering lunch fellow writer mutual understanding beneath whatever happening at the time and on to the beach sun swim walk mind empty of thought or self shorts drying various soft encounters soles tarred clean with baby oil I have that quiche $1.89 shiraz $2.99 chocolate reserve reblock scene one scene four lights change on every line pure poetry wants precision lucky I am such dedicated talented actors wet pavement disconcerting thunder late

Hot Fudge

caution return from hot fudge sundae ever else vanishes practical pillows who yield without seeming amusing telephonic moon kisses manifesting public market who increasing attendance stated baldly in dollars allow silvery mosh wit masters twinkle tip who defy fellow odds between oceans and the sunrise

Three Steps

write about them almost forgot that way be with few present or accessible others even e-mailed too far away if still alive or insufficiently responsive means more than fleeting actual identity pattern reaffirmed as if nothing signifies until converted into art days filled whatever intoxication passing Shakespeare a wedding one's own good fortune tasks accomplished offsets high malfeasances millions miserable inconsolable losses piling up only art matters my concern the subtle moments three steps pauses exact inflections lines learned reward my confidence work toward performance

Actual Images

what to do about people I love see them say something enjoy company memory present life never happier than directing rehearsals my milieu channel actors facilitate imagination arising gather public present results carefully lit displayed shape experience thoughtful beyond thought out of body physical sensual sensibility dancing play actual images

Marriage Vows

throw away the night plunge memory scramble comforted by down padding soft colors dream architecture watery metaphors glimpsed passing moons described in Italian looking down sea creatures rise brightly extended arms hugs warm marriage vows Lora Edward met in Maine making history cooperate cloudy 83 later lightning

What I Miss

Grace Paley better human gone ahead my own doubt transcended recently never ready more nor energies flag her art equal life principles political action hero what I miss New York spice fully conscious among fellow passionate travelers unique friends farewell be there existing absolute

Read My Blog

I wish people would read my blog do you have an envelope so I can mail a wheelchair props costumes poster images printing distribution reliquish tasks Angelica ready able what's my story interview java ten impossible tell everything read my blog willing heart love is far away going farther light musicians use available talent hold back control no profit minimal enough collage imagine multisensual experience

Less Emotion

light purple evokes romantic nostalgic feelings wake shunned accused of evil possession worrying art work always on the edge of not existing but it does Angelica quietly joins on book offers rehearsal reports other eyes I tell her if colors look gaudy try to subdue them less emotion acting you can use white suggest safety one more thing to think color cannot solve all your problems

Coffee Panic

coffee panic passes good things happen News-Press calls me images scanned sent lunching possible stage manager but sickeningly realize tonight late more rehearsing here chez M. uncool floor scratchable white upholstery smudged ruthless theatre art moves furniture rumples rugs not like Kiri Te Kanawa singing at the piano

The Repair

God inhaled and withdrew from the world, contracted Himself to make space for the world: an act of self-purification, to free Himself from evil. But the evil was mixed in with other divine powers, and when it flew outward in Creation it shattered the vessels, the lights of primordial humankind, and everything was dispersed—the original pure lights and all their impure forms too. And so everything Made was mixed, the constructive and destructive laced together. And as the descendants of Adam Kadmon, the primordial one, we are given breath to gather the shards, the evil as well as the good ones, and return them to their right places. This is the Repair: our only meaningful work. —from "The Archivist" by Martha Cooley

Smooth Sand

if I had a Rolex I'd have to have a Corvette would that make me a different person do I qualify how can so many compose music without repeating waken kundalini plunge into ocean smooth sand on trust rest sun readable bodies if you become impatient doesn't help everybody want something which time takes away cradle grave pay extra for nothing doing the usual tricks as if suspended space flight comes home

What Is Revealed

point blank spinning how know can how people talk move react express living energy particular my generic plastic martini glasses sold out all over town looking smart and final ice company substitutes satisfied time energy rehearsal switch me on late mirror glimpse irrelevant what others see I see for myself actors giving doing playing along good will bathing specific effort ideas for each actual interaction nobody tells me anything I have to know believe what is revealed

Too Tired

footsore blocking Point Blank eight actors preplanned coffee table stage paper slips characters moved around it largely worked plus what else arose too tired two and a half hours focus attention all an assistant would help only me and actors good nature work hard willing take what I have to give

An Itch

mysterious gurgling it can't be rain extinguish fire wash off ash water gardens walls below ground level all for art alive magic of directing arises people living transformed until the scene ends thank Gracie feel time's gravity a dribble swim indoor out haircut chef going bald an itch another day without dinner

Dare Anything

Schoenberg Brahms dare anything my sliding reality familiar they buy it works like classical music every note in place harmonized melodic utterly strange what architecture interpenetrating levels no sound privacy each clatter dishes phone pretend silence talk easily go out rehearsal alive spend self freely trust intention clear even to me

Each Kind

well launched fine food fellowship no nays what is true living circumstances smile so fortunate our virtue easy love hard work each kind reward grace us precious time that it could be will be other unbearable compassion so much suffering world beyond gods imagining multitudinous individual billions being only ourselves

Why Not

third leg short ever more familiar landscapes ever more cluttered basement quarters sumptuous Djokovic beat Federer not at his best here everything in readiness boys practicing twisting flips off sea wall onto sand girl throwing ball dog fetching boy flying kite short string patience ocean cold under warm sun why not enjoy

Motel Queen

voices outside solitary susceptible nothing but driving state capitol like new 15 foot doorways dwarf normal persons diminished idea of glorious stature quaint we are small in vast ear sizzle always audible whatever else dizzy crooked on motel queen kid portion pasta gobbled too early how now fill hours awake rehearsals will complete days emphatic fast

Wide Vistas

after Eugene adhesion eases pull is forward wide vistas symbolize free hopeful enthused long road ahead welcome surprises remember zen what can surprise road symbolizes design intention predictable limits betrayal disaster failure of nerve cancel project depression ensues what me worry

Straight Down

pool children taught the motions of being themselves single-minded talk distraction is this me walking down the field or who I think someone thinks I am or wants me to be my looking at trees previously set up next year barn hidden the year after who crawling dry dirt cut grass dig out stones no one watching but God myself no distance between me and real doing why then feel this each child distinctive leap laugh one akimbo comic one flies one stocky Asian drops straight down

Tender Friends

hearts minds meet over dinner desire warming tender friends ourselves if no one else quite something here beyond time edit meeting natural work joy sincere aim innocent persons can we concur enough to move forward yes we now know how

Teen Insight

talked out how can any subject unfurl so exhaustingly exhaustively my dear friends eased smoothly out the door everything is interesting dog-foxes air marshals opera what do I want to talk about yearning to communicate literature Coetzee Sebald one's own efforts exchanges rare and precious teen insight poor fragment attention kisses are the language of love a line I've said before our own ideas briefly blossom mutual appreciation bliss

Back Seat

idle finality disengaging flagrant ideas William Gibson in the back seat of a car various brilliant insights whimsy tricks we don't know more than we did before though knowing changed basically lost millions for cleverness unpredictable results something happens someone gets rich others do worse than ever I look over shoulder leave it all behind imagine Albuquerque son city future

More Real

more real is always better Julian photographing his grandmother's wrinkled nature mature complexity dead bird mouse grey all over tail feathers tipped yellow individual memory snatches fragments does anything avail pyramids prove but do not convey lost time possible dream actual sensation being you me anyone badly described more real is always better

Last Week

we marched in the Homer parade carrying the tail of the peace dove which flew wildly boldly fresh wind almost lifting Patrick nine smiled at from the sidewalks all through town reeling take a break before I pass out finished printing out my book played solitaire until I won cooked a fairly elaborate dinner entertained albeit the pleasantest Oregon friends whoo-ee write something mainly sit down this this last week before I go off weeks other stuff happening else- where I am is the source of the blog albeit expanding contracting moment

Dump Truck

First Friday our small town booming just don't boom on us the back yard safe it's the front I worry about farm land doomed meanwhile huge machines out back stakes dump truck earth- movers sculpt in barn shadow gravel drains for horses' feet bins manure I am not involved I trust and nothing will be seen

Ancient Light

off to the hinterland would I go no whither projects already nowhere whether asked I cannot pay myself reminiscing reflecting ancient light no struggle won cooperative myth that this this is worth fighting for that it makes a story satisfies me

Bird Flies

peace people's bird flies copycat cone art people distributing logistics home move sprinkler evening cooling Scenes from Childhood day of small urgency passages of exquisite harmony editing Johnny book all there I choose to tell ripening pears tomatoes my dramatic intentions watching two shows at once