Why Sing

Bilsma sounds himself no matter what playing New Orleans drowned no game stakes reality life art balance deeper doing watch breath be here enabled chosen place luxe separation who reads no one why sing for sound music spheres Jung Buddha G. agree being my mystic manifest home days stuff meaning crystallizing form

Open Mind

crown prep survived intimate dentistry I am not at Burning Man year three off telescopist sez critical observatory tool open mind thanks Times impressions idle curiosity creative source forever "All right, you do it! I don't want to be here anyway!— No, wait, I'm all right, you go back up and I'll be right along." Eloquence requires the pleasant and the real; but the pleasant must itself be drawn from the true. (Pascal)

Civic Talk

star party dark adapted mountain meadow many strangers telescopes disappoint human eye doesnt look like Hubble fuzzy blob faint smudge millions green laser pointer keen sweet nerd communion minor interest distant galaxies music party Wolf house historic moved Victorian bordello afterdinner tapinade tabouli red white blue wine Italian husband John Kelley Christopher birthday Millay songs de Falla Handel Rumanian serialist improv cake civic talk

High Mountains

In moments we will go. I throw myself slowly down. Noon was here behind the clouds. Something else was on my mind, saved from the postcard. Anticipate an interlewd in Holland. That will be something. It won't be Egypt. It won't be high mountains. It may be the unpublished writings if such a thing exists. Such a thing is a complete waste of time. It all is. It is all high motoring including bitter changes with the police. The time is fast approaching. I will move like lightning between raindrops in the immediate future casting my own shadow like an oracle.

Fresh Bananas

too much clutter too much stuff not just words words too everything grows accumulates multiplies merely tidying up fulltime summertime growing winter die back contract words become deeds (Frost) thought clouds incandescent (Keats) good idea bad phrase why negative fresh bananas pretty girls ambiguous enough

Firsthand Work

political prisoner tortured killed cardboard coffin their dog body wake bossy child emerges "go eat" slowly reborn victim Jacob childs alley Kansas City paved strange house looming attached packing car turn away its gone walk mountains no flashlight ticket Orange Zone are you sure firsthand work not a dramatic construction well directed by somebody "I wonder why I dont like it here" artist isolated alien society Fred Debbie needing help friendly email Billy Name relive Taos "West Side Story" "Trouble" tomorrow another duty inch along

Faithful Practice

this is blog 200 if I miss a day I write two the next faithful practice not required inspired David Chicago complete rundown "Messiah" cabaret money mother music reviews 49 minutes day gone never quite jelled type nap fixit type talk movie night "Sheltering Sky"

Baggy Butt

typing "Automatic Vaudeville" backache hypnotic cant stop despite pain drawn forward what next tear away go P.O. gas swim hot spa mellow workout empty pool laps easier old blue Speedo saggy baggy butt embarrassing meet Carol drive picnic Champoeg park bustling important town washed away flood 1851 under 23 feet! on Hillsboro demo new LED stage lights punchy color low power use cool tech $2500 one PAR can equivalent cheaper three years paving endless strip why we hate suburbia traffic 80 million barrels oil a day coal next then gas unsustainable home sweet air horses pseudo Chinese electric beaver fence web research blog

No Panic

This is one of my in and out days of clumsy sleep and no panic. Jon Andreadakis called from TNC the Cino sounds too small. Afternoon installing movement-sensitive light barn driveway. Casting languishes no response Sally Paul where Mary others?

True Human

[In 1958] "I still believed, or wanted to believe, that things (society) could become 'better.'" (Lindsay Anderson) brothers sisters scheme defraud civil wars ruthless torture lives cultures trash who profits Chögyam Trungpa basic goodness look around within is this trivial Tibetan cheer true human choose watch back prepare retreat easy now Im 69 point made this future go children start again do better

Word Stream

lighten up privileged information Whit Stillman whinnying mares Fast Books "Automatic Vaudeville" before New York still shrinking squash tomatoes our own raspberries slumped computer phosphorescent body love my own thin air word stream out breath suggestive pattern discontinuous continuing go buy mango jive St. Petersburg cool pool meditation morning "thinking" return

Damp Rags

Maybe it exists and maybe it is just a pile of damp rags and old carpets rolled up and thrown into a corner of the basement. The problem with an office is going to it. I will go around to the other side to order the etching and enter with the lanky farmer through the cool shadowy gate onto the hot high horizon of meadow above the invisible sea.

War Is Madness

Balkan leaders stirring it up on purpose madmen bringing ruin Chris Hedges there looking at murdered innocents no good outweigh suffering curses on the leaders war is madness Chinese soldiers young romantic marched North Korea to be slaughtered Americans what doing there no trucks planes tanks exhausted sick starving Ha Jin tells war is madness our own no better this not first invade bogus cause dim plan death destruction chaos negative outcome rule never start once cant stop peace exciting enough war is madness

Writer Writes

boxes full of texts unread out mind keep generating more cant help the writer writes always wanted be a writer evidence accumulates visuals only distraction videos photos old fashioned words retain power invisible waiting publication readers meanwhile more prose forms form content my life in out roundabout tonal modulations not interesting to others part me yet they exist

Another Mind

Alexi my writing student fifteen fantasies servant girls English country house proud mistress dark road kidnapping mistaken identity exciting bright humor imagining coffee John books architecture typography civic blog personal history another mind Jimmy Camicia rematerializes in my hand ear dear true theatre heart weve stopped giving it up thirty years zip still ourselves only more so doing writing what we do joy connection whos there we are oh its pretty big little world whirls dense web

Special Brush

root canal expert painless left me peculiarly calm no mood work nap library bought special brush washed Carol's huge white truck gleams horse trailer less show at last first since broken wrist Lora-Faye Colorado liked Lewis and Clark may return I always want more family close instead last scattering like colonizing different planets each alone seeding further faithful iterations if nothing remains everything links you wish no warps is actively warped active strivers sow poison lie murder I always want more love time disimagine mayhem misery catastrophe o be not

New House

vlog noise new house tease marketing nap dream blurs return sludge trucks whine random content ignite defuse flies spontaneous what makes value I dont want to play splat spell check my play work comes naturally great

Remember Friends

hours type Cowgirl Ecstasy backache 95 picnic nap more complex extravagant I forget Lora-Faye asks did I know Allen Ginsberg yes I am suddenly real feast mole direct Oaxaca blackberry shortcake direct Bisquick Silver Creek diet aside too hot anything frighted root canal Tuesday just do it read Pema Chödrön think practice remember friends loved ones lost recovered dream theatres Living light vision glow nothing there Spalding found story medictation lost

Real Play

Lora-Faye here Bolivia Claremont look colleges Lora marrying Edward Maine so far Violet sad Josh clouded Gavin Lambert Mainly About Lindsay Anderson thinking about Trouble form link scenes Dickie comment make it real play not Beethoven string quartet

Plywood Clouds

Mozart letter Ben Robert Penn Warren stamp Sibelius Five MTT SF KBPS my plywood clouds day alone do stuff what signifies low batt mouse 175 lbs easy eat less apricot bread habit indulge why not why whos thin fit too brooding sniff huge climax transfer pix not now wonder where what movie fiction false when this day passes what then

Sky Lines

Al Carmines died last night St Vincents gift song unparalleled believer art free movement fingers bodies piano voices dancing Judson years creative moment bright silent sky lines long there gone dinner four men Fanny och Alexander rich dense Bergman beauty film magic give in theatrical open every part eyes

Thinking About Joe Cino

I am delighted to join in celebrating Wendell Stone's book about the Caffé Cino. He sent me pieces of it in draft form, and it was wonderful to learn more about Joe Cino and his colorful family and background. Joe was a unique, inspiringly spirited person, and he played a crucial role in my life. I first went to the Caffé Cino about 1962. I was ostensibly there as a critic, reviewing plays for The Village Voice. But it quickly became more personal than that. The atmosphere of the cafe was powerfully seductive, and it is no secret that I was especially drawn to Johnny Dodd, the waiter and sometime light man. I had only been in New York a few years and had only just moved to the Village. The Cino embodied a wild bohemian disregard for convention that I did not yet know was possible. Johnny told about his own first encounter with Joe Cino soon after he moved to New York from Indianapolis, still in his teens. Wandering down Cornelia Street he came upon Joe standing outside the cafe. Johnny said, "I'm looking for Greenwich Village." Joe said, "This is it, come in." Joe's generosity is legendary. He was matchlessly supportive to a generation of emerging theatre artists. I was lucky to be among them. I took him my first play and he gave me a date and we put it on. I directed my first serious New York production at the Cino, and several more plays after that. I saw one play after another by such remarkable writers as Lanford Wilson, Harry Koutoukas, Bob Heide, David Starkweather, Billy Hoffman, Claris Nelson, Tom Eyen, and Bob Patrick. We could all count on total freedom at the Cino to pursue our particular visions, however outré. Joe never held us back, only egged us on. Later I had the lugubrious experience of taking over the Cino when Joe was no longer there and presiding over its final closing. But that shadow long ago lifted, and in all the theatre work I have done since, I have tried to keep the spirit of Joe Cino alive.

Nagasaki

Nagasaki not forgot I was country club Kansas City swimming pool almost ten relieved no chain reaction whole earth blow thats what I thought might happen live with it sixty years gas powered weed whacker filtered water sunset Schubert peace still threatened come apart degrade sudden alteration energy mass

Haze Ahead

high hot Mt Shasta rustic this medicine too good Calatravas crazy Redding bridge sun blasted hundred plus glare intense too hot boat Shasta Lake zoom on up stop civil steak salad zin read Spalding Gray Impossible Vacation neighborhood stroll sunset cool back indulge content what doing going home shoot falling barn high mountain border tops out 4310 highest I-5 Act III Griselda ecstatic sublime lunch Mt Ashland 6580 dark haze ahead burning grass read al-Qaeda Darfur bikers bomb adventure enough

No Hurry

dream yoga zazen pack breakfast fond farewell Ben damp warm running up from the garden sure sympathy empathy compassion love Michelle sleeping white noise boss wakeful no wonder body brain coupling lucky grateful climb out Mendocino fades Crystal Lake low class everybody speed they like happy chase fast pack Id rather be led than follow or followed two kids raft only people any fun I am slowed pause blog on road self no hurry

Free Vibration

creek deep steep rough canyon plunge cool swim relief hot day calm green my footing climbing shaky youth kind Julians hand my back when I stumble full boopsie biggest laugh camp dinner hour alone get naked still love naked in the woods Pan-wise lesser priapic cleaner agile dancing words parade sunbright air hot moves free vibration distant gunshot sharp wakeup "real" Julian goes alarming loud spray rocks son precious turning begin sustainable regimen practice Ry visit ending need solitary time collect focus energies see what do my confidence big solid love

Shooting Stars

experience existence as a wave phenomenon no body Michelle Ben slept out shooting stars mouse moth company cozy solo bed yurt why roofed night mild still strange cries not a bird others coming my last solitude seized sarong shirtless suits steamy speckled oak-shade faint breeze intermittent pestering flies read Bens story novella good writer thoughtful fun read three phones charging red lights dark little sounds power shuts down no load unplug helped fertilize last night morning they work I write amuse myself calm center breathing Hiroshima day helicopters logging woke seven frightening not frightened resolved innocent so are the victims fortunes fool tiptoe balance beam abyss many forms flies heartbreak whole

Every Day

every day same sun dry dog write birds bugs burrs snakes voles chew kill Naipaul India London Africa revolution overpass fathers knowledge sexual skill learn years reach limits flourish then levels being body surprise capable will satisfy other self gift release refrain cruel heart chakra open moist lips nobble play smile eyes too close focus lashes fan infinite present pleasuring compassion

Visiting Ben

wordlessly contented isolated empty rugged Mendocino valley visit Ben writer nephew here seven months exploring attitudes is that where knowing begins loved dog Muna Michelle's place quiet only ticking leaves scrapes squawk cluck buzz tweet unpremeditated meditation focus attention watch it open up deep as last night sky home galaxy edge-on hammock gnats mosquitoes biting fly Ben finishing novel hates it says not novelist wants write stories something else smart self-ironic private righteous interesting talk writing know better generational contrast worth words mystery write mystery each own predilections different mystery

Everybody's Friend

well-being restored fill up worlds best water Dunsmuir one of many pleasing places I will never live ruled out domineering interstate fierce winters isolation dropouts hideaway mellow plenty property for sale here once special desire return see more know better coffee helps think not thin speed on sorry cant drive write glimpsed meadow beckons lyrical curves grandly descend Siskiyous Central Valley flat fast glitter no appeal wish word ooze more like Franks lunch walkaround Manhattan everybodys friend

Earth Rules

speeding landscapes not natural flat mountains wrong feel weird anxiety going jazz green forests State Jefferson nowhere still bad history scarred pathetic tie-dye yell at spotted face instant nap eight hours road altitude too far I want to be Europe not the West better home honey can I say that adventure still smell sewer works pure air fouled alley tired motel steak start Naipaul "Half a Life" whim after Mt Shasta highway up up into sunlight huge vistas distant ranges night consumed driveable 8,000 feet last trees solitary worshipers awed high silence heavy holy mountain vibe 6,000 more to summit shrinking glaciers serious climb too lame thrilled ascension sense majestic untame interior alive earth rules

Provincial Ignorance

remorse for crime not committed pull grass from wildflower garden before seeds mature measly cash deposit melodrama weekend saw Nancy's gray parrots well loved theatre paints Wednesday going wild days blog break unavoidable watch for catchup soon return Iraq meddle criminal mistake no credible excuse smug provincial ignorance waste lives good will treasure bad situation worse o my sweet country Tex cronies serve self sway fool innocents decent men deceived ill led o hope of the world betrayed