I have been using free indirect style without knowing it! The narrator merges with the character or the character speaks through the narrator. My struggle (mein kampf) is with the narrator, who is myself if I am talking about my own life. I am making myself up as I go along. If I narrate as someone else, who am I really? Never that objective kind of writer, which would dissociate me from my own being, which I am writing to affirm, affirming you.
The motions don't matter, I go through them unresisting, with pleasure. When pleasure fails, I don't know what I will do.
I'd like my journals to be published and read, in a thoughtfully edited form. There are many gold nuggets in them waiting to be picked up and cashed in as wisdom. Flying embers of beauty. The unit is the sentence, each sentence a thought, each thought a building block. Planetary destiny has to be taken into consideration: hence irony, or insulation. Existence is eternal, whatever you think.