Friday, March 31, 2006

Small Town

slow motion drugstore calm down Michael feels too good to stand there holding poppy as if this vapid stasis is life small town reality enhanced well-being too few actors Kelley Ginger Molly Christopher me Stephen has to leave stay here happy build seasonal greenhouse two loads gravel change sky air elements float level picnic furniture

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Spring Days

no central authority deep shared circular investedness nightmare Baghdad overwhelming sorrow pain waste spring days late accomplishing preplanned task satisfying love islands of happiness mean what how coexist awake numb compartmented oceans away cheer budding lilac opening night

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

News Brief

dream getting Alzheimer's walk out with child downhill through park run diagonal long descending rectangle through grass child barefoot stone stairs twinkling feet pure after picnic I am lost zoo laboratory don't ask me where I live I don't know address near park embarrassing contained panic website progress over glitches bugs making active links up to date news fill day making pages eyeballs swim everything eyes for eyes only contact Carol appreciates still ugly her PC John fixing styles tics aesthetic swift progress finally lights working Brush Creek poetry brochures posters made all this and love life breath weather body elements avoidable news brief

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Funny Day

bad words filter stalled website work whole server went down then my iMac crashed smelled it burning Mercury retrograde that was last month before we watched "Crash" unexpectedly poetic I built cold frame after thunder lightning funny day

Monday, March 27, 2006

Breath Use

I feel I should be doing something with myself my talent intuition experience intelligence largely languishing no one asking me to do anything direct produce my plays publish my writing how come fail self-promote work rarely seen honestly need doing something with others group share work together common goal vision amplified why dark alone speaking into silence why speaking nothing say helps vibration sweet sensation breath use existing language ego free no naturalist scholar philosophic alchemist who more natural elder loving capable focused smart

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Dream On

Zach ladder Abbie board smooth hang gremlins exorcized DMX Buddy loaner replacing dimmer pack tech rehearsal three-hour cue to cue I could have left but stayed my suggestions appreciated quality script hard-working amateurs "Nixon China" Portland Opera won me over after dozy first act missing nap aspirin after hours programming web presence John made me nifty system buggy or I'm not getting it too busy do anything but live love sleep dream on

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Further Mercy

a little Satie duet for the family before they go back to New York Boston Milton Florida Guatemala Lora-Faye snowboards Rachel skis Tensie runs the Rainforest Alliance room life more good here Julian freed happy thinking how make art with so much suffering in the world all entitled happiness why not cease artificial damage peace act urgent sustain personal float enjoy opera further mercy

Friday, March 24, 2006

Whatever Happens

affective forecasting error grandfather learns this how I feel whatever happens what I do only the present is ever true like not like each other daunting learn anything expectation repeats memory matches remember did I like it then probably mostly cheerful feeling few pains passing ennui curious being

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Local News

anything not interested Iran opposition local news novel Banville good enough funk fly-by stasis chilled overbooked tomorrow Zack Abigail nothing today busywork poets players lighting setup what spark creative heat no lacking love comfort abundance here ahead I'm connected virtual apart crowds teem every play out through how little can communicate fellowship inner parity same Beethoven drift away each own preoccupy reserve something plunge

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Magic Answers

alien age personality in solution slow dance give up opinion too subtle for intelligent repetition plenty of time to read all books hazardous stair-climbs broken sternum diabetes electric bug to stymie distract banish bore say I am the lighting designer do it then cinnamon toast and bed imagining magic answers patient practice serious work accept love one with forever

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

More Important

…time moving forward is more important than how you can arrange it… (Tere O'Connor) …the best of life is life lived quietly, where nothing happens but our calm journey through the day, where change is imperceptible and the precious life is everything. (John McGahern)

Monday, March 20, 2006

Acts of Will

rest eyes pay bills hear jazz drink coffee get high jack off no chocolate write blog chocolate give gifts (write checks) "Iberia" space out write minutes equinox individual acts of will dissolved in custom

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Pious Blood

luminous lilies pearly dove each moment its harmony indistinguishable my cup overfloweth used up images despite parents radio coughs what does anyone think listening silent windows bright spare me churches pious blood not I am sinking desperate high enough spared floods mainly praise sentience arising bewail nothing only blessings yield to the organ even blowing

Deep Water

return resume retard to the tempo of the budding fruit erratically warming steady swinging system I am part of individual cogs rhythmically interacting calls eventually respond board meets consents to change why argue attempt inform he understands Tensie Lora-Faye complex itinerary information always the sense of loss of dreams jeweled content wallet lost deep water adolescent front bus brink true refuge in waking reliable love close breathing

Changing Focus

You who are hidden Speak to us in breezes Leaves move the branches Branches move the leaves Shadows fall and mingle Changing focus on the ground (Daniel Potter)

Friday, March 17, 2006

Almost Gone

stimulus lacking solar input fogged lens issue George almost gone ten two minutes bed Vie same ride tireless house full memories paper favorites last day new old art house museum riches given borrowed Goya Gainsborough landscape ready home nap pack few words the play is "Far Away" by Caryl Churchill dark difficult creepy actors good opening night production fine audience supportive pleased my lights why this bleak vision everything hostile grotesque celebration world end how applaud his Genesis West happy play my part this too pass generous share mountain silence guest room comfort late night hottub moonlit panoramic breeze thanks Bicky Steve married thirty years ago in Ithaca Julian in utero now undone house sold assets divided final visit Las Canoas Chopin Haydn how we do go on

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Boring Beauty

star leaf peep soar curd glow moon shadow distant freeway rush boring beauty soak 104 tasting lemon tart Bicky John Mercedes old dog Slate I had to sleep deep swimming under water breath my only aim here light can I still believe in theatre how else live in memory present history lost

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Nothing Personal

easy exact placing color patient tech work thanks Brad self standards nothing personal art all day pingpong son love nap haircut 40 minutes rolling genie perfect Intermezzo relax open-eyed outwit fatigue thanks Maurie my theatre lives with or without applause

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Good Guys

words fail wild fancy Bill Hart under chair like Rio maze bench revolve transformed Fadiman on Hmong heartbreaking more American screwups nothing novel Bush who good guys are fooling fate mortal making art reprove age seasons return

Monday, March 13, 2006

Even Worse

too Saturday not two meaning sucked down always existing hole 200 no extra capacity move back live up to pretentious house Alain Ducasse twisting griping silence darkness this way even worse despite yearning sense know better linens throw away old silver whole society awaits dedication research best baffled failing confidence misplaced

Sunday, March 12, 2006

One Thing

dinner Alfred intense thyme cold hottub challenge driving seeing when my mind goes will it be a relief incorrect question life one thing lasting personality falters peril soul assumptions ambush thought waffles Times Milosevic dead escaped study model place lights imagine pale disembodied glows cottage 1.2 million schemers ruin town unlivable friends drift past moon bless my distant love

Cloud Cover

flip-flops dirty fingernails earbuds attack light distracted homework look around cancel election swing Super-Rica bragger Coffee Cat O.K. clearly drifting Santa Barbara rain day nothing real cloud cover old ladies movie dreams wet fake fur

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Intimate Sandwiches

Quakers who swear how meant live anarchist punks enact vision dream intimate sandwiches for me for you repart premature theatre gods call opening Thursday cultivated home these unsold seats warm familiar still alert devotees paid for trip waiting rush takeoff flight arrive incoherent gabble mild brain surf

Let It Go

It is this deep blankness is the real thing strange. The more things happen to you the more you can't Tell or remember even what they were. The contradictions cover such a range. The talk would talk and go so far aslant. You don't want madhouse and the whole thing there. (William Empson)

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Perfect Serve

suck up tough skin man up! nostalgia is not desire former highs unrepeatable present company preferred "Dolly" never fades downpour eruption more light enhances wishful aim lost play remember writer dead friend gives up on marriage daughter sympathetic kind I synthesize long sons this peace intermittent weather systems perfect serve

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Hard Fact

just war forget it no such never right always wrong mankind tragic distortion genetic hard fact stuck it opposite love sex beauty form chaos logical reason anything heart in flames trust no leader study it agree among ourselves

Monday, March 06, 2006

Good Company

Ligeti carry me Barbara Guest good company plot and narrative sentences words as paint Sheik Shata matching personalities formed socialization relationship religion status pushing rented cattle around Chinita loves them convivial relaxed this is what we like

Driving Need

the enchantment of the scene depicted derives from fidelity to the way things happen to happen Porter Schuyler like Schubert most least continuous beat Jim is solid Jim is an optimist at all times Jenny thinks the sky is falling Bobby had a driving need counting weekend unconditional collaboration

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Teeth Chew

a little work enough change name tweak format fix bothers approach final draft then what after driving lunching nap an hour idle daze walk budding grove work a little Mozart wine brown rice hummus hair nails grow teeth chew voices trade secrets for fun admire fellow humans even-tempered constructive sympathetic

Friday, March 03, 2006

Velvet Charm

Johnny story whistling limits practical no story without everything cannot be whole necessary real make website gratify love let be not mine live myth each music power color velvet charm fierce purity realize harmony going forward arrive again family beautiful webs appalling spans context grotesque immaculate in forms alternative no regret mistakes unfolding future like words following thoughts

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Big Mistakes

invalidation of critical response did I conspire devalue form value values pro collage unreason denied own strength pro sensation deranged o foolish confidence invite corrupt authentic who cares opening intent ambitious grab control now we're soup waters rising voices toothless blameless copout weak excuses big mistakes deafening speechless silver hook alluring nightlife vs homelife corresponding friends not me extended far-fetched scattered family draws blood redefines continuous exchange go on imagining harvest dream treasure no difference only some administer most badly needless suffering is real conspire to end it

Forgive Mirror

time stand still here emphatic barnside gestures 3:15 warmer singlet forgive mirror winter in summer new everything magazine molehills trip cats apply lesson midnight dancing finish life book this one secret pseudonym silent read