Sunday, January 17, 2021

Lived Reality

 do you mean what I think you mean
probably not no one does never did
amount to craved recognition which
won't mean what I hope for anyway

that's the reality behind lived reality
assumed significance misperceived
poorly revealed despite every effort
to be transparent about inner riches

where the scholarship interpretation
attention to intention faintly realized
expense in plywood distracted actors
doing all they can with my material

what I imagined hides its little candle
under false modesty denied ambition
shorted out by comforting habits late
recognition squandered opportunity

this is unworthy poor me when I'm
fine thank you this is what I wanted
all along amused by doing art ecstatic
in realized moments of perfect being

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Changing Light

 suddenly a few days I feel newly
distant from my younger self if
that's the word can't even imagine
being that person I remember being
poets in a book are living my life
the way I did at the time with a new
baby writing at night before making
love or earlier or later redefined

if I hadn't written it down would it
exist as it does less on paper than in
mind pictures colors changing light
this is who I was all along or trying
to be me in this body and weather
hearing the toilet flush in the other
room heralding another day much
like the others that have gone before

Monday, January 04, 2021

As If

 it is as if we were here when we were
imagining thought even the timely body
scratching squirming stretching awake
as if never before and always once again

it is as if one plus one were still one now
and always will be even eventually gone
as if you've grown part of who I really am
no need to repeat remember it's all inside

it is as if we knew all along and couldn't
quite say but lived it putting away dishes
making the bed taking care of the physical
as if that was all we could do and enough

Sunday, January 03, 2021

Last Word

narrow is deep wide inclusive
one thing reveals the rest and
everything must be mentioned
where to start makes you think
how many days hours instants
give the lie as all of it merges
unity in complexity vice versa
long run big picture last word

Saturday, January 02, 2021

Ideas of Self

 when you're alone do you
exist how
would I know you tell me

the other not needed helps
it matter
whether or not you think

we're all busy with other
connected
ideas of self interacting

so masturbate or don't
no one cares
if you're not really there

you may find what you
missed again
when you forgot to come
or didn't
remember who you are

Thursday, December 31, 2020

Fireworks

 a scattering of raindrops
pattering on the skylight
furnace stops stove ticks
the hour before midnight

a year everyone hated
ending without a ripple
eternal music of the stars
humming in human ears

I am only here right now
laying down a basic groove
synthesizing the raw data
needed for a celebration

shower passed or paused
I listen for perfect silence
behind the buzzy drone
deaf to the nonexistent

fireworks sound and light
only in the back of mind
flowing into easy words
no call to make it harder

Wednesday, December 30, 2020

Only Visiing

 castles exist
though we only have a house
and a few acres
people live in them
overwhelmed by history
nature surrenders
to fencing and saws
new trees a new community
animals well fed
heirlooms abound
new stuff doesn't last as long
or deeply satisfy
the old is someone else's
you are only visiting

Sunday, December 06, 2020

My Things

I came to get my things
I am here to get my things
I am now taking my things
I took my things with me when I went
I am leaving everything
I am never coming back
no regrets

Wednesday, November 25, 2020

Natural Prayer

 1
do we even remember how it was
to be close to other people excited
to be part of a crowd moved as one
all that changed temporarily then
not perhaps never coming back 

2
nothing actually happens until
something does our life random
yet repetitious original yet banal
our own yet biological historical

3
is it too late for Spinoza
or Schopenauer yes I fear
I have frittered away my life
infected by Surrealism attention
is the natural prayer of the soul

Thursday, October 15, 2020

New Glasses

not seeing itself
but what you see
old issues dissolve
with new glasses
there's the world
let noise be music
off the radio silence
roars hums secrets
into open ears