Friday, September 30, 2005

Sleep Less

day night rain again another roof watershed decades later who can remember why look back honor continuity pure original intention sleep less work more gradually balance gather treasure regrouping after equinox excavating ancient words this is being friends time together shared obsessions meanwhile photos flying John Albano Charles Terrel young radiant on my screen surviving in my enterprise

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Red Leaves

grant writing drudgery electrician talk make it happen if I can Backstage ad red leaves my maple whipping breeze prunes for candy Terry Riley brilliant writing fragments float free desperate past crash self abandon enterprise these fragments shore against ruin lemurs tail wraps tight around arm beyond the high wall the open sea

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

How Cool

…a flight of fancy, however bold, is never as rewarding as a journey through the challenging maze of real experience (Charles Isherwood). Is this true? Rewarding in what sense? no more stalling path visible see how cool Bob Dylan is We must not throw more good American lives after good American lives for people who hate others more than they love their own children. (Friedman)

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

New Cards

sorting Soren Agenouxs writing Id publish his collected works who will read anything found bought Mashad rug for under piano storage unit many Persian lovely bargains deepen rifts Sunnis Shiites Kurds threaten Turkey Syria Iran Arabia Israel Afghanistan new cards full name address cell number blog address website under construction complete human contact on to Google fully available fellow seekers yearning

Monday, September 26, 2005

Old Men

Honorable Cynthia McKinney says the people united can stop war injustice is it not hormonal young mens aggression harnessed by old men aggrandize their power paid suffering poor is that not how it is change that rest follows and we are not united falsely foolish suicidal all need food water shelter want health comfort love compassion v competition is there not enough for all

Tiny Dancers

she loved how slim he was in black his perfect puppetry of tiny dancers a private universe of pain, delight her gross molecules collided in that small space, his theatre in fine white hands held their fate but he danced solo on the wires solo died alone, vile alien invasion death would wipe away the stain but he left a pretty purple shirt that she found and wore for years

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Same Day

worse than realize dont want know same day sunny anything doable feel think act not just read Orhan Pamuk "Snow" Sam Cohen "Shame" Didion grief love writes truth hard warm mindful real thank you Joan what is unbearable home health loves our vulnerabilities this moment known

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Wild Friends

I never saw myself as one of the freaks though I tried to fit in saints imagine themselves perfectible middle American elite wild friends more fun overlapping tribes like musical forms

Flat Out

Carol in the arena two big gleaming horses tearing around running flat out changing direction when she signals with her whip Annie kicking up her heels

Friday, September 23, 2005

Catch Up

Iraq disintegrating hurricanes proliferating might as well have fun company for dinner lunch cooking clicking cleaning up Woody Allen "Sleeper" women included keep on loving chase the now catch up this is it

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Words Acts

my life changes obscure distract everything changes now worse how did this happen one corruption at a time writer no passive victim words acts actions consequences if we keep going down this track were not going to get back

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Elder Statesman

Gary concerned "Trouble" timing Koch elder statesman politicals not kidding I forget real to them partisans offended wd see unkind dishing demeaning trivializing get into it attack me more scared Id disappear ignored pointless poor Bess Myerson forgotten do I care its history can I sell it without a star not meaning to be mean thats how I saw it Gary better another play blitzed how think I afternoon off Rolling Stone trashes Burning Man Stones say new songs necessity Phil Baker shares Portland contacts cd I do something closer to home need new play New York be bold Keats (1817): …& at once it struck me, what quality went to form a Man of Achievement especially in Literature & which Shakespeare possessed so enormously — I mean Negative Capability, that is when man is capable of being in uncertainties, Mysteries, doubts, without any irritable reaching after fact & reason.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Learning to Live

Cunningham novel Specimen Days three stories overlapping characters themes disjunct worlds first nineteenth century too painful to read third future dystopia android alien romance engaging oddly touching second contemporary cop terrorism hardboiled love soaked Whitman genuine writing artful bold postmodern Julian paints clouds coming from two directions I get up do things in the morning hang discuss pleasure dissipation edge takes all of your attention seductive opportunities for grace in wretchedness is necessary real accomplishment learning to live

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Start Again

creekside open mike read three poems sorting them for book life sections too many poets — yet I must having written make possible read like this what few read if one I am fulfilled — writing isnt over only changed I am changer living manifest active transformation intimidated youth what is poetry respect tradition and its breaking start again — grammar meaning contain Keats Whitman sufi zen merely live — spin radiant web catch dew gilded flying words our minds work differently must reconceive — this doesnt work

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Few Remain

who could write call make a difference no one well Mary if yes invited coffeehouse chronicles La Mama Oct. 15 La Mama Troupe few remain memory faint should have paid attention at the time thought I was dog herds sheep are the sheep afraid or submissive doing what the dog wants

Friday, September 16, 2005

Face Forward

theatre broke melodrama lost money fifteen tonight porch roof leaks cant finish better season no alternative Andrew young president learning brave blunders correctable pray fresh members solidarity in art end high modern not beginning something new last days earnest now market measures aspiration face forward schedule people dates rain fall taking hold acting impulse keeping true to more hopeful time

Early Writings

render new corporate environment method discontinuous non-story early writings poetry on scrap forgotten stories plays cold trail cant do anything do something poetry releases type Becks trial read Michael Cunningham enjoy nonhuman adventure real too sad

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Positive Moves

twenty years after Julian Beck tiny creatures ceiling sounds circle square stripes clouds pictures papers sunlight dust empty cups dull fan dark dorje John projects positive moves hugs kiss veggies meditation silent phone when be happy

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Clean Sheets

itchy gotta get outta here too many same days waiting jump car coffee post office garbage vaguely Portland am I burdened New York project where free lightness imagine why suffer smooth roads merge flowing freeway new snazzy Tigard mall Borders Apple store no movie thread suburban Trader Joes no contact general cheer isolated persons Hiro sushi servile bows clubby counter light read Alexander McCall Smith speed home waxing moon Bill Evans motoric white cat in warm strong clean sheets

Monday, September 12, 2005

Shanghai English

alone I lose my grip nothing is real disoriented strange Ishiguro novel "When We Were Orphans" deluded narrator grew up Shanghai English how any of us know what is world change grim fact wound innocence city calls just what will I do there home nap till four whole day gone hours exquisite unreadable prose why restaurant alone cook better happy with less letting time pass

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Holding My Breath

email seriously piling up behind me decisions actions due think resolve Im not having enough fun lack play mates play music games make art sabbath watch tennis wash windows allow myself break work routine call Mary shell read it tonight call Monday Tuesday holding my breath

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Radiant Eye

summer ends cool air rain I wish only to stay home much too read write think board chores maintenance body joy life radiant eye turn wait wonder project what for what alternative warmer clothes gas heat drive less fly temptation quietude allow intuition anticipate whether why

Friday, September 09, 2005

Too Soon

after my nap it is windy I dont want to go to the theatre work patiently stay with the program this too shall pass too soon

Thursday, September 08, 2005

War Coming

jules austrian jim catherine french six american men marvel dangerous woman fun fast until the war men trench blast blast then slow quieter truffauts exuberance serves novel appropriates extends language film does everything free deconstructive another war coming cant go back

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Notes on Style

the sentence for its own sake words left out; extra words active punctuation assonance and alliteration minimum words; luxuriance unique images; patterns, echoes story in context: inner culture geography ambiguity everything for its own sake/being teemingness internal jokes freedom to do anything make reader work, wake take them inside

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Autumn Flame

Arnold Weinstein wit hip word worker all over plum Autumn Flame planted scripts copied punched bound sent I press on money tidy papers desk all place warm letter Ben no work day

Monday, September 05, 2005

Fast Lane

way too focused on myself both actresses phone! Sally NY woke us dawn in the fast lane Mary LA sounds up for it a star at TNC amazed I thought so isolated writing I told her the whole story sounded great she got it happening! Paul Santa Fe loves play cant see himself in it Lorin tossed broke arm

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Birthday Treat

thats not my view sex love violet speaks for herself for me close entwined best more transcend self honor other called Mary number message dug holes for trees one each light setup Brush Creek Abe tennis boring even grind classical cruise too crowded birthday treat Johns backyard party progressives revealed ripe raspberries before dark

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Romantic Stories

question ch'i I feel it what else lovers touch flows level sensitized feel it meditating web energy community sangha despite cultural barriers each for self privacy property right intention palpable not air five sense despite microwaves electrical body resonance field nothing matters more everything follows violet's romantic stories are too close to her heart she tries to detach and write again josh did tell violet that he loves her words that she has yearned for even though he tricked her into saying it first violet feels they are going through a very delicate moment for not only did she expose her heart so did josh violet's heart ached so when josh went to rome this is when she knew her love for him even when he came back she still felt the ache he left her with and could not declare her love for fear he would get scared violet remembers the moment she knew she wanted him and only him he had his hand on her stomach something happened she wanted no other ever to touch her again she never told that to josh she told the other men she no longer wanted to see them for still even after all this time they have not given up she is inundated with proposals you never gave me a chance or you would be happier with me for i can give you everything you need violet is not swayed or impressed by money she could be set forever never have to work again if she left josh for another violet does not mix sex with love sex is a pleasure love is deep within her soul a mystery of life a feeling beyond no other

Friday, September 02, 2005

Inspiring Speeches

Lorin graduated Oregon College Oriental Medicine Portland theatre full 63 new acupuncture masters commence inspiring speeches listening healing Amit Goswami quantum activist do-be-do-be-do Rocketboom unmediated helicopter New Orleans roofs water people stranded tough communicate no blame many doing much catastrophe no fix rebuild crazy it will happen again and again why wash we will only get dirty again why live we will only die why anything present good outweighs future doom deplore foolish waste improve social justice celebrate joyful now

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Love Tree

what thinking by not thinking "Trouble" hard sustain energy solo justify expense how else go back New York sans anyone produce care better "Half Life" undone before catchy bisexual insider plot off map how get anyone to notice bother Heather sez TNC pretty good deal thought so good to know thanks Bob recommends publicist $3000 ouch love tree flowering pear dark red leaves pink flowers spring for me a big maple shade studio afternoon sun blast too hot sitting end sit computer naked