Amazing Days

what had happened before mattered
because you carried it inside a secret
self you still had tender feelings for
barely adequate to the new situation
who am I now what do I need to do

the real you would still be there no
matter what you did given made up
of underlying expectations parental
familial contextual colored by class
and under that your own intentions

how can you know what you want
until you do it find yourself doing it
as if nothing else was possible being
where you were at the time all ready
waiting to see what you make of it

lose everything it still will be there
part of you now inexorably forward
something never changing in spite of
time conditions brutal facts amid the
amazing days you never can live again